Weight -
- Under 163. Woot. (It figures, right - that it changes as soon as I missed a few days of walking. I walked yesterday, but I missed a couple days prior to that.)
- Breakfast - Unsweetened soy milk cappuccino, 1 slice provolone cheese (I was making sandwiches)
- Snack - 4 oz Breakstones Liveactive Cottage Cheese + 1/2 Atkins Chocolate Coconut Endulge Bar
- Lunch - 2 slices ham, melted cheddar cheese.
- Snack - 1 chocolate chip cookie, 1 Atkins Chocolate Coconut Endulge Bar. (These can't be in my house. DANGEROUS. Way too many calories for three bites.)
- Dinner - A couple bites steak, a few bites baked plain potato.
- Bed -
I have a big watermelon sitting on the counter. It wants me to attack it, but I will wait. I don't want any surprise blood sugar reactions.
I'm contemplating my walk. After yesterday's seizure out of nowhere - I almost hate to drag my butt out to walk, because, "What if?" This was my problem to begin with, back in January, I didn't want to put the baby at risk if I were to stop, drop and seize in the middle of the road somewhere. There is no warning. It's bad enough that I travel with a glucose meter, food and phone because my blood sugar drops out of the sky sometimes, and I don't want to walk sideways into traffic, but a seizure would definitely make me roadkill faster.
I wonder, and I am just hypothesizing here, that the series of lows have not damaged my brain in some way, since the seizures are not actually TRIGGERED by the lows. Why else would I now - start having seizures - at the age of 29?
Someone asked me - What Do You Want To Do? Make It Happen! Quit Whining!
I don't know what to do, it's not that I don't want to do something, I do.
I want to go to "school" or work, but the HOW is just overwhelming.
If you haven't been trapped like this - you don't really get it. I know what I don't WANT to do: those choices are obvious to me, but when I say it out loud, I sound ungrateful and whiny and a bit like Veruca. I don't WANT to work at Wal-Mart. I WANT to get some classes, certifications, something... skillz! I want to utilize them before my brain explodes. Wanting doesn't mean poop though. Because, classes require time and money, and time is money.
What don't I have? Money, and the ability to drive at the moment.
I am giving it more thought now that I am chained to my house for an unknown length of time. Be prepared to deal with me, because, now I'm never going away. :P
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