melting mama

If I am not posting my eats, it's because I?

What is the most likely scenario if I stop posting my daily eats?  Is it because I am eating:

1. Too Much.
2. Just A Bunch Of Random Crap.
3. No meals, just bites of whatever here and there.
4. Just "too busy," forgetting to post or log my food in.
5. Or, wait a minute...

It could be any of the above, but in the last couple of days it has definitely been #3. 

Yesterday was an off-day, but in the interest of full-disclosure it was the first full day on an additional new anti-seizure medication, and I don't know if that maybe triggered the grazer in my head.  (I'm nodding at myself right now, because I have been grazing for two days since I took the first of those pills and I wasn't doing it before!  So, yeah.)

I am giving it a fair trial, because I would prefer not to have seizures, but if it gives me heifer chew the cud symptoms, that's not okay.  I cannot have the munchies.  I am already trapped in the house, already taking ONE anti-seizure medication that STOPS that grazing, and if this new one starts it back up, nothankyou.

___________________________________________________________________________________________
Weight - 156 lbs.

• Unsweetened soy milk Decaf cappuccino with 1/2 serving Click Protein
• 1 Frigo Light String Cheese + 1/4 cup Kay's Naturals Protein Cereal
• 1 oz. Salt + Pepper Cashews
• 1/2 Dark Chocolate ChocoPerfection
• 1 bite 100 calorie whole wheat bagel topped with diced tomatoes and cheese (didn't sit well, quit, kid's lunch, Pizza Bagels)

TMI. Pattern.

I hate to do it - I just saw my lowest weight in years on the scale a few days ago - I do not want to go on and log what I saw yesterday.  It it amazing, no matter how many times I see it happen, it is absolutely mind-blowing amazing how fast I can add five or six pounds of shit (Or water - it could be water?  Maybe I am a human barometer?) because it just isn't possible on the amount of calories I eat and my activity level to gain weight that fast. 

I would have to physically eat half of a buffet table to gain that much so fast, and I am lucky to "binge" on a protein bar (150-200 calories) in the middle of the night.  Even at my worst while "dieting" (I say that because when I am not paying attention I am much, much worse, the proof is in the archives, stacks of crackers through the day anyone?) the extra calories that are "missed" are in the 300-400 range, from that middle of the night protein bar and a few bites, licks or tastes of food during the day.

So, again I am blaming the slow gut.  I feel gross in the bowel.  I swigged a Miralax shot last night.  The pattern is, this happened about a month ago.  I write my weight down every day, and this five pound SWOOP just happens, but I don't have to like it.

So.  I thought about it.  That "pain" could be?  Ovulation related.  I had an x-ray last month when I thought my bowels were imploding, so it's not a tumor.  It's that time - ovulation time - not the blood letting.  But, it's weird.

Anyway - today's damage:

• Early, early like 3-4am:  1/2 of a Atkins Daybreak Cinnamon Bun Bar (NO LIKE THESE. NO.)
• Soy cappuccino.
• Green salad, parmesan cheese, Walden Farms Dressing
• 2 slices roast turkey breast
• 1 Truvia sugar-free dark chocolate bar
• Take out (I wasn't planning on eating any, but smelled good) 1 mozzarella stick, a few bites chicken salad, a few bites ricotta cheese from a stuffed shell.
• Click Protein.

Wednesday

Weight - 154 lbs.  Thank you Protein Ice Cream.  (Heh.  Could be?  It upped my protein from whatever to 75-100 grams a day)

• Atkins Day Break Chocolate Crisp Bar (160 calories)  The product page for this revamped product at the Atkins site is not completed yet.  Apparently they killed off  or renamed the "Morning Start" line.  My review is pending.  I am thinking about my reaction.  (You can read that as "reading the ingredients and writing a review.")  The thing is - I don't remember the "Morning Start" version very well, so this is pretty much new to me even if they didn't change it.
• Unsweetened Soy Milk Cappuccino

1 cup Protein Ice Cream. (I had portioned this into cups in the freezer ready to go. Glad I did.)

1 string cheese

Green salad

3 ounces chicken breast

Tuesday.

This is my niece, 23 months, and new nephew.   I think she likes the new baby.  She bites Tristan, but she hugs the baby.

My sister in law wants another baby, but her blood pressure is out of control right now, it spiked when she was pregnant with her daughter (in the photo) and it hasn't come down. The baby fell asleep on her at the bridal shower, look:

Weight - 155 lbs.

• Unsweetened soy cappuccino.
• Protein ice cream, 1 cup.
• 1 rice cake.
• Green salad, grated cheese.
• 3 sugar-free cookies.  (Mistake.  I don't want these in my house.)
• Protein ice cream, 1 cup.
• 1 string cheese.
• Ronzoni Smart Taste Spaghetti, with a little sauce, I ate off the baby's dish, because?  HOLY 43 carbs in a serving?  I then walked with my glucose tabs.  I thought for certain I would half-crash from however many bites I ate.  The box says there are SEVEN servings of pasta in it.  I beg to differ.  A few years ago - I could have eaten most of the box, with butter.

Exercise -

Five miles, walking outside.

Monday.

Weight - 155 lbs.

• Unsweetened soy cappuccino, a couple times.
• Cream-sicle Protein Ice Cream.
• 1 slice Gotham Pizza minus end crust
• 1/3 Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea Latte (I had a weird brain crash while out, hence why I picked this up and started sipping.  It did not help, it wasn't a blood sugar crash so far as I could tell, as I did not test my sugars and I was totally coherent,  I think it was a half-assed seizure wanting to push it's way through.)
• Take out - I ordered a naked greek salad (no bread, no dressing) and I ate some feta, two slices cucumbers, and a pile of lettuce.  I also stole a meatball from Bob's dish and a ravioli when it was freshly hot long before I ate this - and it made me feel like crap - VERY HEAVY.
• More plain salad with feta.
• Planned -  MM's Mint Chocolate CHOCOPERFECTION Protein Ice Cream.  Yeah.  I'm playing.  I also made a small batch of Mint Chocolate COOKIE.  So - you can have two recipes.

Exercise -

• Planned, four to five miles walking, 1 hour.  Skipping it.  I went to go and realized the iPod is dead.  I didn't charge it.  Phooey.  I won't walk without tunes.

Sunday.

Weight - 155 lbs.

• -A couple bites protein ice cream (to taste it, I made another batch, a different recipe) + unsweetened soy cappuccino.

• Rockstar Roasted Light (100 calories)

• Bridal shower:  Inside of a small chicken salad roll (three bites, mayonnaise makes me sick) green olives, frosting from one very small slice (of what I was told was "Paula Deen's" orange cake)

• Peanut crunch bar (150 calories)

• 1/2 slice Domino's "Gotham" Pizza

• Creamsicle Protein Ice Cream

• Black Bean Chicken Soup

Exercise -

Four miles walking, outside.  I got a cheap-o pedometer.  Anybody tell me how many steps four miles is for you?

Saturday.

Weight - I bit under 156 lbs. I guess.  I didn't weigh.

• Unsweetened Silk Soymilk cappuccino.
• Atkins Peanut Crunch Protein Bar (160 calories)
• 1 lowfat string cheese (60 calories)
• Party - 1 italian sausage, two bites baked beans
• Rockstar Roasted Light (100 calories)
• 100 Calorie Mini Bagel + Land'O'Lakes Whipped butter (150 calories)
• 4 Peanut Butter Crackers (Felt woozy, thought my sugar was low, it wasn't.)
• Two bites Domino's Pizza (ICK)
• Orange Creamsicle Protein Ice Cream!

Totals - 1,100 approximate calories

Exercise -

4 miles walking outdoors

Friday.

Weight - 156 lbs.   I have something to say about this - in a new post.

• The bottom bun and the meat of a D'light turkey sausage croissant sandwich.  (Tristan ate the egg white, the cheese and threw the top croissant at the floor.  I had only given her part of it because I knew she would throw it anyway - because she throws carbs -  and I did not want to start my day with 32 grams myself.  15 is my per meal "supposed to have" limit.)
• Unsweetened Silk Soymilk Half Decaf Cappuccino.
• 1 string cheese.
• Unsweetened Silk Soymilk Half Decaf Cappuccino.
• Canned chicken breast mixed with mayo on a small green salad  (Made me sick.  Woot.  Had to be the mayo.  I eat the salad by the bagful.  I didn't dump, my dumping is usually a heart racing OMG sleep!  This was OMG I might throw up and then I might shit myself.  I was okay in about an hour.)
• 2 40 calorie hot dogs, dipped in mustard.
• 3 Benefiber Sugarfree Orange Creme Chewable Tablets.
• 1/2 crunchy granola bar. (90 calories)
• 1 South Beach Living Energy Snack Mix (160 calories)
• 4 multigrain flax tortilla chips with Cedars Tabouli Salad
• 1 South Beach Living Meal Bar (180 calories)

Tuesday.

Weight - 159 lbs.

• Unsweetened Soy Cappuccino
• 1 string cheese
• 2 thick, greasy, pan fried slices bacon (While cooking the following...)
• 1 "Bacon Cheeseburger" Egg Bite, plus the scrapings and burnt crispy bits from the pan that I had to pick off and nibble. :)  (Mini Crustless Quiches) (a la Eggface's Blog...but I altered them slightly...)
• 1 Click Protein Shake.
• 2 Milano cookies at MIL's house.
• Green salad, grated cheese, zero calorie dressing.
• Shell peanuts, about a half serving.
• Unsweetened Soy Cappuccino
• 1 crustless quiche bite, 1/2 croissant.

Monday.

Weight - 159 lbs.  +1 lb.

• Rockstar Roasted Light (During my iron infusion.)
• 1 serving Multigrain Wheat Thins + 1 string cheese
• 1 string cheese
• More freaking Wheat Thins (Now banned from the house, realistically, they were in the car, I ate the m in the car, between the appointment, since I had no breakfast, no snack, no lunch and, that's no good, and something that hasn't been in my house for a they cause 'hand in box syndrome.')
• Maybe more Wheat Thins? (Which means, I had no "real" meals today.)
• At dinner, we had grilled steak with bacon on it.  I ate the bacon first, and then attempted steak, or should I say MIS-STEAK.  Nearly puked.  I cannot eat anything classified as a "steak."  Ever, unless that cow is moo-ing on my plate as a rare roast.  I even had it grilled slightly rarer than usual, and I could not get it down.  So, dinner was two thick pieces of bacon.
• Coffee + Diet Cocoa.
• 1 small bowl of kettle corn.
• CRASH.  I deserved it.  It was directly from the popcorn.  I tested my sugar before it got too low and decided just to eat a meal instead.
• Turkey sausage, egg white, croissant

Exercise -

Lifting crackers to my mouth.

Sunday.

Weight - 158 lbs.

• 1 cup Keurig Coffee, 1 packet Diet Hot Cocoa Mix.
• Dole Very Veggie Salad, a big spoonful of tabouli, grated cheese
• 4 6 Hershey's Miniatures Dark (Found a bag of these, deep in the freezer while cleaning out unknown matter yesterday.  I threw away a box of fudge - but - not these little rectangles of love.  I should have. I was eating these all. day. long.  Not all at once.)
• 2 light string cheeses
• 1 Rockstar Roasted Light
• 1/2 Smart Ones Roasted Turkey Dinner (Tristan's Dinner, she wouldn't eat.)
• Dole Very Veggie Salad, grated cheese
• Popcorn.  Too much.

Wednesday.

Weight - 158 lbs.

• 1 scoop Click Espresso Protein in Soy Cappuccino
• 2 ounces shredded pork in BBQ
• Rockstar Roasted Light
• Guts of three mozzarella sticks, and a few fried onion rings, with a taste of tartar sauce.
• One bite penuche fudge.
• 1 slice provolone cheese
• 2 scoops Click Espresso Protein in Shake
• Very Veggie Salad, Walden Farms Blue Cheese Dressing

Exercise

• 1 hour walking outdoors on my own, plus about a half hour casual walking with family

Tuesday.

Beach day today, sort of. We went for a couple hours, parking fees be damned.

• Unsweetened soy cappuccino + 1/2 serving Click Protein
• 1/2 crunchy granola bar
• 1/2 turkey sandwich
• 1 Atkins Advantage Caramel Brownie Protein Bar
• 3 ounce ground beef patty, 1 slice american cheese
• 1 ounce shredded pork in BBQ
• Unsweetened soy cappuccino + 1/2 serving Click Protein

Exercise -

• 1+ hour walking outdoors, not pushing a brat.

Monday.

• Click Espresso Protein in my Unsweetened Soy Cappuccino.
• Dole Fresh Discoveries Salad Mix, Walden Farms Zero Calorie Dressing, Grated Cheese.
• Too many dark chocolate almonds. (This was all day long, hand in the container, probably two servings.)
• Two Wendy's Chicken Nuggets and four bites of a 1/4 single.

Not that I want to make it habit.

But apparently I am not good at eating when he is home.  Red flag, send him back to work.  Now, if I could just drive, things would be so much easier.

• 1/2 Cookie (Breakfast of champions, no?  Don't ask who may have been at a bakery yesterday and bought a dozen while I was at the Apple Store with the computer, that isn't obvious?  It's not like I sat down and at a freaking cookie either.  I was picking at the suckers ALL MORNING LONG.)
• 1/2 Cookie (Lunch of champions?  Perhaps!)
• Dinner was out at a Mexican Restaurant.  I can't even tell you how many calories it was.  I didn't eat much, but I ate till I was full, and I ordered a "Vegetarian Combo,"  I ate a pile of plain black beans first, then a few bites of a cheese thing, a spinach-filled delicious-ness, and a few bites of a chile filled with fatty cheese.  (I have NEVER had one of those, OMG!?)  I did not dump.  Had I eaten any more, I would have.  My blood sugar did crash though.  I didn't test, I felt it.  I was pacing.  It wasn't a real low one -  but I was pacing and looking for more food within an hour.

Just so you know - Bob had a low sugar after this meal too - he had a bunch of carbs - he ate tortilla chips and salsa, which I don't, and he was trying to do his homework and cracked out and lost his brain about an hour and a half into it.  It happens to both of us, specifically after high-carb meals, of course, which I never really eat, but if we both indulge, forget about it, we're goners.  It makes me wonder sometimes if his drive for the simple carbs might have anything to do with the blood sugar cycling just like mine.  It is possible, I mean, I make fun of him, because, he ate like crap BEFORE the RNY, and he just does it on a miniature version now, but what if it is the damn pancreas pushing him, too?

Could be.

I refuse to call it a BAD food day.

But, it was a shitty food day.  It's not much - just REALLY "crappy" in comparison to how I have been eating, mostly because we were out of the house all day long and I wasn't prepared for it.

Weight - 157 lbs.

(And, just for the sake of writing things down because my memory is CRAP, that intermittent pain is still around.  I think I may have a weird uterus or something?  It's not a fetus, it's not a bowling ball poop - we ruled those things out.   So - we'll keep it in mind, the phantom pain of lower left colon/uterus/ovary or bladder.  I can feel it RIGHT NOW.  It's a weird stabbing pain.  I can point, RIGHT HERE, see?   Would an ultrasound or another test show more than an x-ray, or am I wasting my time and money again?)

• (In the car,  my day started off sour because I brought a protein shake with me, but it went horribly wrong, and chunked.) So,  I was STARVING.  1/2 croissant, sausage, egg cheese minus most of the croissant that I threw out the car window.
• Venti soy cappuccino + 1 petite vanilla scone (Eww, what a waste of carb grams.)
• 1 egg foo yung (OMG love, I haven't had this in years!  Eggs have not been my friend for so long.)
• 1/2 biscotti.
• 4 glucose tabs.  (Hypo crash!  Didn't even test, I didn't need to, felt it coming a mile away.)
• (Back home) Cheese + black olives from the top of a slice of pizza.
• Unsweetened soy cappuccino.

Friday.

Weight - 157 lbs.

• Unsweetened soy milk cappuccino, 1/2 scoop Syntrax Sweets Chocolate Protein mixed in (it almost worked, it chunked a little, ick...)
• Review! To! Come!  DELISH!
  
• 1 serving Genisoy Soy Crisps BBQ Flavor + Salsa
• Green salad, cheese.  Ran out of my dressing, crap. (50 calories)
• Hunka chicken breast, it's gone too. Crap. (50 calories)
• Green salad, cheese,  no dressing. (50 calories)
• Rockstar Roasted Light (100 calories)
• Two bites Premier Nutrition Titan Protein Bar, gave up on it and had 1 snack cup 2% cottage cheese instead (90 calories)
• 3/4 of an egg roll, three bites rice (OMG THE PAIN!?)

Thursday.

Weight - 157 lbs.  Woot.  But, WTF?

• Unsweetened soy milk cappuccino + diet hot cocoa mix in it (MM Mocha)
• Plain cold grilled chicken breast (I finally turned the grill on.  Man do I love the grill.)
• Green salad, parmesan cheese, zero cal dressing
• 1/2 Power Crunch Bar
• 1/2 Power Crunch Bar
• 32 ounces chicken broth
• 1/2 cup edamame, with Smart Balance Butter Spray
• 1/2 Premier Titan Protein Bar
• 1/2 Premier Titan Protein Bar
• 1 square raspberry ChocoPerfection.
• Unsweetened soy milk cappuccino + Lean Dessert Protein Chocolate (IT WORKED!  IT TASTES A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER THAN THE COCOA!)

Exercise

40 minutes walking, outdoors.

Wednesday.

Weight - 159 lbs.

• 1/2 Supreme Protein Bar (I actually ate it in bed, at like 3am.  I woke up ravenous, and ate 1/4 of it, and ate another 1/4 at 6am when I got up for the day.)
• Coffee + soy milk.
• Green salad, parmesan cheese, zero calorie dressing
• 1 celery stalk, schmear creamy peanut butter
• 1 Thomas' Light Multigrain English Muffin, 1 turkey sausage patty, 1/2 slice American Cheese (Going to test my blood sugar after this - I just noted the 24 carbs in the muffin, oh.  I don't normally do carbs- that many - or meals -when I am "unsupervised.")
• Four bites indiscretion + bizarrely enough, about 1/3 cup steamed SPINACH with it (I was cooking dinner, and Mr. Simple Carb came home with what?) wherein I paid for it approximately one hour later with a 50 mg blood glucose.  Score.  I was about to go for my walk, and I decided that I couldn't.  Had I gone, I may have dropped really low, like much lower than 50.

Exercise -

Notsomuch.

Tuesday.

Weight - Didn't.

• Unsweetened soy cappuccino + diet hot chocolate mix
• 1 half crunchy Nature Valley Granola Bar (A child handed me this - why I ate it?  I don't know.)
• Green salad, grated parmesan cheese, zero calorie dressing + six dark chocolate almonds
• Burnt American cheese slices. (I call this "Cheese Crackers.")
• Skim milk cappuccino.
• Too many dark chocolate almonds. (220 calories a serving, 16 grams sugar serving, my hand was in the can at least four times today.)
• Peanut butter crackers.  (200 calories)
• Green salad repeat.
   

Monday.

Weight - Dunno yet.  I'll weigh when I get in the shower

I know I said I wasn't labeling meals - but I seem to be following an actual eating pattern right now.  The grazing is a bit down.

• Breakfast - Two turkey sausage patties (100 calories) + soy cappuccino
• Snack - Mozzarella sticks (2) + Rockstar Roasted Light (100)
• Lunch -Atkins Love Nuggets Bar (150)

Sunday - Mac is Bac in Town. She's got a seizure disorder.

Weight - Didn't.

I picked my iMac back up.  Seems there's nothing wrong - they put her through a series of STRESS TESTS and she didn't shut down under stress.  I think she has seizures like her Mama, and there is an unknown vitamin deficiency.  Just saying.  BULLSHIT.  She's died TWICE four times, and I've given up, shut her down, and she's going back, I don't care HOW, since I turned her on at 3pm.  The nice Apple (Podpeople?) said there "Was no problem in three days of testing."  What now?

• Breakfast -  Dunkin Donuts 75% of a HALF of a white carby English Muffin (does that make sense?) I threw the dry half to the baby and used half to hold up my sausage patty and slice of cheese, but I quickly realized the English Muffin is a mistake - and threw it out the window and ate the fat and protein instead, including three actual bites of the rubber egg!  Blech, blech, blech.  (I am such a waste of food - when all I really want is a CROISSANT, filled with cheese and sausage, but I don't eat those anymore.)  Skim milk cappuccino.
• Lunch - Whole Foods Market - Salad Bar.  $10 dollar salad bar.   Well, technically it's $7.99 - but who knew I would fill a small box to $10?  I chose three cucumber slices, three pepper slices, three broccoli florets, 3 hunks of antipasto (mostly) sausage, blue cheese, kalamata olives, a small scoop of black beans, a quinoa cake (it looks like a veggie burger), and a scoop of roasted summer squash... and I ate about $2 worth.  We went there to avoid spending "you know, too much money on, you know, going out to lunch?"  Well, we spent $60.00 on lunch, a couple simple-carbs for Mr. Simple Carb, whipped cream, and three drinks.  We could have just gone to lunch and spent less, with a waitress.  (And you know I heart Whole Foods, I would lick the aisles and work there for food.)
• Almost forgot - I had a chocolate candy in here.  A creme-filled chocolate cup thing I picked up at Whole Foods.
• Dinner - Leftover $10 fucking salad.  Because the guilt required I eat it.   2 mozzarella sticks.

Exercise -

35 minute walk.  Had to cut it short, because I had to get home for a child to be dropped off.

30 minute walk, later, on my own.

Freaking Friday. Beware, I am showing a poop chart.

Weight - 159 lbs.  +1

The doctors office calls this morning.

"Your blood-work came back fine, except did you know you are anemic and could you please come back in a week to re-check this?"

I say,  "Yes.  I have been anemic for like almost three years (or so, I really don't know)?  I have a hematologist."

"Oh? Who's your hematologist?"

"Yes (does it matter?)  but how does my X-ray look?"

"Oh, what X-ray?  I don' t know - sometimes those take a few days."  I guess.

I still don't know if I have a kidney stone, or if I have a blocked bowel.  Any bets on if I ever find out?  Unless huge pain erupts and I make a dramatic scene and require the wahhhhhhh-mbulance. 

Does this surprise you that I never get answers for anything? 

Here check this poop chart out, because I am in a shitty mood!  I think someone needs to make a WLS POOP CHART.  This doesn't seem to work for most of us, at least not with my experience with RNY'ers:

• Green salad, zero calorie dressing
• String cheese, a couple
• Titan Protein Bar (Frozen, in two parts, much better this way, if entirely inedible because you cannot chew it!)
• Whole grain flax lavash + cheese
• 1 brazil nut (Burp)
• Too many Focaccia Sticks.  (STOP BUYING THESE MR!)

Exercise -

1 hour and 15 minutes walking pushing the brat.

Thursday.

Weight - 158 lbs.  *shrug*

I'm not dead, so I guess it ain't a kidney stone growing, or a fetus (I know that's not funny) so it must be the poop that won't die, but look at my weight, it's almost back to where it was!  So, I guess bits of poopie are breaking off and hurting me less?

And, it's 2pm 7pm now - and nobody's called to say I'm dying of an obstruction - that a X-Ray would not confirm anyhow - right?  So - on with life - until I explode.

• Vanilla Soy cappuccino
• Green Salad, Walden Farms Caesar Dressing, Romano
• Rockstar Roasted Light Vanilla
• Shredded chicken breast, black beans, zero cal BBQ
• 2% Mozzarella Stick (2) + 1 oz roast beef
• Shredded chicken breast, black beans, zero cal BBQ
• Protein Shake
  • 1 scoop Body Fortress Vanilla
  • 3 ounces (1/2 container low carb yogurt)
  • some fresh blackberries, strawberries and raspberries
  • 1 oz sugar-free vanilla syrup
  • ice
  • 4 oz water

Exercise -

•    1 hour walk outdoors, pushing brat.  Two 15 minute walks pushing brat with kids, too.

Wednesday. I'm full of it.

Weight - Didn't.

I called and made an appointment for at the medical center.

I know it's a waste of my time, it will be a $35.00 co-pay, where I will be told to "Go home, it's probably just some constipation, eat more fiber, drink more water, and call us if you have bleeding, pain, shortness of breath, etc."

That is why I very rarely go to a doctor.  I wait until I have something that I think is a big enough deal that might cause damage.  I will explain that it's been a week of this - and now there is pain - enough to stop me from walking.  If this is "full of sht," I don't want to know how in the hell it's going to come out.

I don't think it is bowel related - or if it is - I have a kidney stone on top of it.  It feels very much like early labor.  The discomfort is radiating from the bladder and uterus area.  NO, I AM NOT PREGGERS.  DON'T YOU DARE.  And, you know the first thing that will be done when I get to the medical center?  Will be an internal ultrasound.  I know it.  They will say - "Ectopic pregnancy!"  They did last time I complained of this pain, and it was a kidney stone.  But, actually, that can't even be done there - they'd have to send me to the hospital, for another $50.00 co-pay, which will take at least 8-10 hours.

Update:  I went, I got x-ray'ed, and peed in a cup.  In fact, when I went in for the appointment, my records weren't even complete, this is the PCP's office (granted I have not been there for anything since a year ago and I was called cuckoo and told to move on) and I know the records of my seizures, etc had been CC'ed from the hospital.  (I read every record.)  The NP asked, "Have we met?"  Yes, of course we met before, but I have the memory problem. 

Update again:  I called the medical center, asked for the results of the tests, they have no radiologist on staff today - can't tell me.  Blood work shows anemia, pee is good.  The nurse called back to say the doc on call says that if I felt it necessary tonight, to flee to the ER.  Uh, no.  I was trying to avoid that entirely by going to the medical center.  Every time I have gone to the ER, I have spent 8 or more hours waiting.  It's not going to happen unless absolutely necessary.  My sitters weren't available today, and Bob and the kids sat out in the car for this appointment, so if I am going to any Emergency Room - it will be when my brains and bowels implode at once and I must.

I  even waited in the waiting area, thinking someone might tell me if I was dying - but no such luck.

I pushed my luck and ate a hamburger with a white bun for dinner - hoping to PUSH this out with a good carb dump and low blood sugar.  Nothing happened.  Maybe I should have eaten some fries.  (That's a lie, I did dump, I fell asleep.  My heart thumped and I laid down, and I countered the impending low with the soy milk cappuccino I have now, it's "vanilla" soy milk, which has sugar.)

• Shredded chicken, black beans, zero calorie BBQ.
• Chocolate.  Hershey's Miniatures.  Several times.  Stress?  MUCH?  Kids?  HOME?  YES?!
• 2% mozzarella cheese stick
• 2 miniature veggie spring rolls
• Most of a McDonalds' "Big + Tasty"
• Shredded chicken, black beans, zero calorie BBQ.

Tuesday. Summer. School Countdown. Mama on Strike.

Weight - 159 lbs.   (WTF?  Whatever.  Bodies are weird.)

• Shredded chicken, black beans, zero calorie BBQ
• Rockstar Roasted Light
• Shelled peanuts
• 2% mozzarella cheese stick (2)
• Green salad, zero calorie dressing, parmesan cheese
• Two bites baked potato, plain
• Power Crunch Bar

Monday - Skoolz out fo da summah

Can you tell?  OMG, kids.

Weight - 162 lbs.

• Monster Light Energy
• Venti Soy Cappuccino at Starbucks
• Shelled Peanuts, just a few.  This is my thing right now, I have a bowl on the counter.  Keeps my hands busy, and I can't over-do it, which I tend to do with nuts.  :)
• 2% String Cheese
• Power Crunch Protein Bar
• Shredded Chicken Breast, Black Beans, Salsa + Zero Cal BBQ
• Meatballs + Ravioli guts in sauce (Bob's dinner, he ordered out, it looked good to me, I ate several bites.)
• 1/2 pita bread, picked up some salad in it, with feta.  (This was what I ordered, but I was full on my crock-pot chicken from earlier.)