Kids, don't eat and drive.

Yesterday, Dad took the big kids out on a "date."  They were off for lunch and some time at a local indoor germplayground.  For lunch?  I suggested Friendly's, thinking they would be thrilled to hear that, because they hadn't been there in a while.  My son sulked down the stairs on the way out the door and said, (much like Eeyore) "let's all go to Frieeeendly's, because WE have a COO-PAWN." 

Okay, so maybe I suggested that restaurant because I DID have a coupon for free kids' meals, but, it was totally non-usable until February, and that was only because the coupons I had for Wendy's were useless also until after Valentine's Day.  So, can't a girl save a few dollars?  Since I wasn't going - I didn't get the final say, and they ended up at The Outback.  The kids were in fried carbohydrate heaven, and Dad too, I'm sure. (Do Aussie Cheese Fries Sound Good?)  The meals end with a "free" dessert, the kids had ice-cream, and Dad says he had a "few bites" of "some cake-thing." (Thunda From Down Undah? Sounds like the makings of diarrhea to ME!) Mmm-hmm, cake after carbs.  So, he pays, leaves, and heads out to the parking lot with the kids, where they witness a car full of young adults back into another car in the lot and drive off. 

Dad feels a slight fullness in his belly, and decides to see if that person comes out to the lot quickly, to let him know he's been hit.  While sitting there for just a moment, he falls into The Worst Stomach Discomfort You Can Imagine After Gastric Bypass.  (Serves him right, right?)  He tells the kids - "Let's just sit here a minute while I take a little break."  :::locks car doors, puts on the radio, they play quietly::  He lays there, head in hands, trying to rock the sickness away.  Must.Feel.Better.So.Sick.Need.To.Puke.Or.Sleep.  NOW!  The kids know what's going on, it's not like it's the first time Daddy's eaten cake and "dumped" in front of them, though he's really sneaky about hiding it, but we can all see it. His face falls, he gets really sleepy-looking, and all of a sudden, the TV show that may be on is The Most Important Thing In The World, and nothing may distract him.  He might lean to the side, hug himself, put his legs up and out, and take a little "rest."  He might get up and run to the bathroom, and "not have diarrhea." 

So, as this occurs in the car, at least he had the common sense to Not Drive While Carbtoxicated.  He knows driving whilst DUI/Carbs can be bad news.  Nausea, cramps, diarrhea, dizziness, faintness, anxiety, shaking, cold-sweating, you name it, it can happen, and it's no fun.  I've had to pull over in sheer intestinal hell before, trying not to lose my bowels while I dry-heaved into a plastic bag due to eating one bite too much, or something that didn't agree with me.  Dad's little rest took about a half-hour before he felt alive enough to drive again, and they headed to the indoor playground.  While he's lucky he didn't shoot flames out of his rear end while there playing with the kids, as soon as he got home I could see "that look" on his face, the one that says "move, I gotta go."  I think this little episode may have effected him just slightly, because this morning before leaving for work, he was bent over the computer staring at a protein bar and inputting the nutritional information into the newly downloaded Fitday PC, saying that he was "starting today."  Starting something, I guess, like, not eating cake.