Product "Review" New Whey Protein Test Tubes

Perusing the classifieds.

I'm scanning the ads for something that might fit my insane needs.  I find this:

"Live in, full time position with flexible hours and several benefits. We are looking for a fun, assertive, active girl who loves children. Some experience is required but desire and life experiences count even more. We currently have a live in nanny who loves our children. She recently became engaged and sadly, will be leaving us to be with her fiance. We are looking for someone who is clean and organized. We are expecting a little girl in June and would ideally like someone to start a few months before. I am very hands-on and would like to find someone to co-parent with me. Summers are filled with beach days, camp, summer school, holidays at the Cape, swimming, biking and just plain old fun! Co-parenting means driving chidren to and from school or other activities. Helping with laundry and maintaining children's rooms. Light housekeeping and basic childcare ie. changing diapers, bathing, dressing. This approach works best when done as a team."

A married, stay at home parent, seeking someone to parent her kids with her.  Maybe I'm just jealous.  ::evil grin::  But.  Why can't people do it on their own?!  Why have that many kids and stay at home if you Can't Hack It?!  Now, before you get all huffy, I can understand the need of a mom with many kids who are all the same age multiples, like Jessica, with FIVE under age two.  Ugh.  Whatever.  Back to finding a job, and, then, a nanny to watch my kids so I can get a job.  Wonder if she'd hire me to be her nanny, the pay is probably equivalent to what I could get doing some random middle manager level retail job.

Vlog: Another really bad commercial!

Vlog: Another really bad commercial - Pure Protein Chocolate Deluxe

I've officially infiltrated the web. EGADS.

My unpaid endorsement for the ISS Oh Yeah! Protein Wafers has viral video'ed it's way to a review site.  Oh jaysus.  I was doing it for my WLS loves, not the Public Good.  But, whatever, I thought it was silly, but you know now I'm motivated to do it AGAIN.  :x  What's next?

Horrorscopin' today.

Today's horoscope:

"Your feelings may bring you uncertainty today -- not that you will share this confusion with anyone else. In fact, your current tendency to hide your emotions can create a wall around you. This, in turn, disconnects you from your world, giving you reason to doubt the sensibility of your current direction. Don't overreact; you are better off holding steady now instead of changing your course."

I wasn't THAT uncertain.  I will let you know when things are completely solidified and going forward.  Right now, it's like, Jello, that we just put in the fridge.  As soon as a couple days, we may have a dessert, or at least, we may know that we're planning to eat the Jello at a certain date, if you can understand my bad reference.  This doesn't mean that the Jello will be edible anymore, considering, this entire process is slated to take two years.

*Topic change*

February = sick, nearly every year.  I woke up last night, with the two youngest girls in bed, and my husband was gone.  I checked all the beds, and he's still *missing.*  I found him in a nearly-fetal position on the couch.  I ask him "What.  Is. Wrong. With. You?"  <insert peanut butter cup reference here> He says.  "I have the stomach flu. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD."  Oh FOR joy!  He then explains to me, the physiology of trying retch and vomit with a stomach pouch, like I don't know. 

If you're not pouched like us - there's something you gotta know.  If you need to throw up from a VIRAL sickness, and there isn't any food in your pouch, you can't get the vomit OUT.  (It's nearly impossible to puke unless you're physically over-stuffed and the food "rolls back up" your esophagus, hence *immediate eating disorder potential* see the secret blog.)  The vomit you're feeling is in the old re-sectioned stomach which has no use beyond making bile that transfers to the jacked up intestines later down the chute.  If you feel like you need to blow chunks, and you haven't eaten recently, it can backfire, and the virus goes south.  South = what?  The bile goes down and out, instead of up and out to make you feel "better."  YES, Diarrhea!  Hooray!  You then shoot flames out of your ass until the virus is gone.

The best thing about this situation of a virus after gastric bypass (RNY type) is that when you feel it coming -  you can STOP eating.  (Like, me, today.  Not eating, just in case I'm going to get it.)  Then I have less of a chance of having to heave and retch as much.  I. Loathe. Throwing. Up.  And, it hurts me.  I avoid it all costs. 

I don't know if I'm going to get it, but if I'm not, perhaps I'm getting the opposite problem.  Although things have been "normal" in the fecal factory (normal is subjective) I have a shooting pain in my lower quarters.  You're a pain in the ass I tell you.  I can't tell if it's my uterus turning inside out, or my intestines.  The uterus wants to pack up and leave, and has been hinting at it this month, with two cycles already (it's been a week, maybe a third would be nice!), and the large intestines would like to have a conference.  Ugh.  Ow.  Again, here's the reference for Bob - "If I drop today, remember I told you that I thought my intestines were going to Tahiti and not bringing me."

Now, a couple of posts back, I mentioned that children were puking, but I didn't blog about it.  I figured it would jinx me.  The only reason I'm bringing it up now - is because - My Boy Spewed All Over The Mall.  What a man!  This child is very modest, and bodily functions don't fly with him, (except burps) so to puke in public, repeatedly, is such a milestone.  </sarcasm>  Now, I didn't get to witness this, as he was going to get fitted for a tuxedo, and spewed all in front of the tux shop, much to the managers' delight, I'm sure.  I'm not laughing about it I swear.  I just wished it had happened in a different store for someone special to clean up.

*enough with the bodily fluids*

And you?

Oops.

Back when I had my finger on the "delete blog" button, I messed up the feed for this page.  I realized this because I keep noticing that people are entering the site from the post I made on the day I tried to break the blog in January.  (I was going stealth, was.)  Oops.  I guess if you're reading via web-reader, you need to update it, because the old feed is dead.

Vlog: A really bad commercial for my current favorite food.

2. The babe says "Hey." + New Whey Protein

1:30 am - What are you doing?

MyPicture, originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

I'm playing with a stupid iMac! I made a response video to post on YouTube, but does it work? Hells naw. It's all - "processing!" So, you get this.

3/4 Kids Have Vomited! I'm dancing!

, originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

 

I done figgered out my drain bamage!

That's it.  I know why my brain is broken!  It's the glass of wine once or twice a week, or the light beer out at dinner every couple of weeks.  </sarcasm> 

Another reason I could not be an alcoholic (at least NEVER as a WLS post op), high ethanol intake can increase brain shrink, and in folks with malnutrition, you're ****ed.

"To determine the influence of chronic ethanol intake and nutritional status on cerebellar shrinkage in alcoholism, we studied 12 undernourished patients with acute Wernicke's encephalopathy in alcoholism, we studied 12 undernourished patients with acute Wernicke's encephalopathy 12 undernourished and 24 well-nourished asymptomatic chronic alcoholics, and 24 age-matched well-nourished controls, using morphometric analysis of MRI scans with volumetry of the cerebellum... Most undernourished alcoholics and half of the well-nourished alcoholics, compared to one-tenth of the controls, showed a significant reduction in cerebellar volume. Logistic regression analysis showed that malnutrition and a daily ethanol intake of more than 140g over ten years were independently associated with the development of cerebellar shrinkage."

Wha?  Brain?  Shrink?

Horrorscoping Today.

"You could talk your way out of nearly anything today, making conflicts with others less critical. Your charm and wit are working for you now in ways that surprise even you. You know what you want and are willing to ask for it. Still, you could miss it when it appears in your life if you aren't receptive. Paying attention to others can help you recognize your dreams when they appear."

Too bad it's a Saturday, and I'm likely to only end up doing errands at this point.  I should be doing something more important things today?  How can my charm and wit work for me in ways that will surprise me at Wal-Mart?  Perhaps you're telling me that if I KNOW I want that case of sugar-free Red Bull at a good deal I need to be willing to cut a deal with the assistant Store Manager?  Gee.

(RIP) Renee Williams

Send a little love out for this lady.  Seeing as more than a hundred people came here today looking for this, I have to wonder, is she okay?  Did the procedure happen?  Anyone know? UPDATE:  She's passed.  :(

An Austin woman has become the largest female patient known to undergo gastric bypass surgery.  29-year-old Renee Williams says she knew without a doubt without the surgery she was going to die. 

At nearly 900 pounds, Williams has been bed ridden by her weight for the past year. "It's for me, but I want to do it for my daughters also. They've already missed out on having their mom long enough," said Williams.

Air your dirty laundry? (I knew I could smell something.)

Hypothetically speaking:

If a media outlet were to want to publish your "pending business," would you allow it?  What would be the precipitating factor in allowing it?  I only want to hear from genuinely interested people here.  What would YOU do? 

Okay, let me clarify - I'm not talking about going on Dr. Phil to discuss WLS or something, that I would do, in a heartbeat.

I mean, airing dirty laundry.  Would you willingly let your story go public?

New Baby.

She's big, beautiful and I could really use a manual. I'm sure something came with it - but - of course I don't want to look for it. She's got bells and whistles, and I want to know how to use them. So, wanna see a photo of our new baby? I've been avoiding bonding with her, because she's different than our other babies, and frankly, weird. First off, I want to know: The camera. Can I use it to make You Tube-type movies? It comes on for iChat, but I am unlikely to use it that way - I want to record when I want to record. Anyone?

Duh.

A new study debunks the widely held belief that diet plus exercise is the most effective way to lose weight. Researchers report that dieting alone is just as effective as dieting plus exercise. For weight loss to occur, an individual needs to maintain a difference between the number of calories they consume everyday and the number of calories they burn through metabolism and physical activity," Dr. Leanne Redman of the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, explains in a press release.

Well, I'd say alert the media, but they did. How is this news?

Peace.

, originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

Butter for the rolls, anyone?

, originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

She's four months old and a chubster. :)

Evil Anemia Girl Strikes Again.

Look, I'm all evil!, originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

I was playing with the camera settings, in natural light, and I ended up with a slew of photos of my own self looking like a demon. Don't piss me off, I might go all Exorcist on you.