Can't get to the city for a support group, in MA?

For the Massholes, particularly any of you South of Boston, listen up.  There's a casual Weight Loss Surgery Support Group that is getting underway - and meeting up on Saturday, July 21.  If you want time and location details, you'll need to email me and tell me where you're coming from.  I will eventually need a head-count for our location.  Of course it's early, and you're not required to RSVP now or anything - but I wanted to put it out there - and if you'd like to add yourself to an email list for reminders, please email me with "South Shore WLS Support" in the title to [email protected].

First in a series: Products To Sell To Fat People.

A blog-reader emailed me a link to this catalog tonight.  It's called Living XL.

"Imagine living free of all discomfort, frustration and inconvenience. Imagine living without the stress that comes when the right product isn't there. A better lifestyle awaits. LivingXL offers a collection of unique, innovative and high quality products for tall and plus-sized men and women to help achieve a more comfortable lifestyle. These products cover every aspect of life; from sunrise to sundown, at work or at play, relaxing or on the go, there is something here to make life easier."

You can live the lifestyle of the morbidly obese!  Sign me up!  Let's do this!

The front page shows us a pretty cute looking couple, 200ish lb woman - and a 250ish lb male.

Certainly they need SUPERSIZE robes, BIG JOHN Toilet Seats, Commodes, Personal Shower Heads, Long-Reach Toenail Clippers.... and, for the right price, you too, can wipe your ass in style:

Now, I understand WHY these products are available, many are a true need, it's just.... I don't know.  Making morbid obesity somewhat glamorous?  Is that the word, even?  Why make it look good?

Wait, you could, be a size eight - and wear a super-sized FANNY pack - that's so glamorous.

Shari's Comment:

About the XL Catalog....

Why make it look good?

I'm going to guess it has something to do with the fact that morbidly obese people's lives are difficult enough without having to look at bad design which touts more substandard poop for them, as if they are less than human or deserving.

I am confused, now. On one hand, bypass surgery is a no no naughty bad thing--- and on the other, "Why are we advertising products for the morbidly obese in an attractive way?" What's the deal, am I supposed to have a fat ass, stay a fat ass and just live with whatever I can get from dumpsters?

You're seriously playing both ends against the middle here, Beth, on this one.

By the way-- I have that Maxx Daddy chair and it ****ing rocks. Light and portable, yet can hold 700 pounds of fat-but-****-you-I-have-the-right-to-leave-my-bedroom-too ass. I'm all for it. I could take it to the park and read a book. I could sit on the sidelines and watch a game. Thank god the people who need these things can find them.

As for the wiper on a stick....sad? Maybe. So is chemo. Would you prefer that the ultra fat NOT wipe?

Dumped.

My husband dug through my bag of Bariatric Advantage samples.  He ate the little bucket of "protein cereal." 

He reviewed it.  "It's good, for 94 calories." 

So, he ate it all.  (Very little actual food.) 

Then he proceeded to say, "You know what?  This would taste good mixed into regular cereal."

Then, he began the ritual of looking for something to eat.  (Yes, after eating the "protein cereal.")

He makes himself a bowl of rice cereal, with banana, raisins and skim milk.

I give him the warning.  "Bob, you know what's going to happen if you eat that.  Don't. Do. It."

He says, "Oh stop, cereal doesn't bother me.  I eat cereal all the time."

I then give him the run-down of the sugar content of his "meal."

Skim milk = 13 grams of sugar in one cup
Rice Cereal = 7-10 grams of sugar
Banana = All fruit sugars
Raisins = Tons of fruit sugars

He then calls out to yell at the kids, whom are sitting with me playing cards.  "If I heah you one moooah time, thas it, you're in bed." 

He's stumbling on his words, I assume he's doing his college homework , and irritated because he was "concentrating" and I tell them to be quiet.  Then, he's quiet, really quiet, like, he fell asleep, even.

I just went in to check on him.  He's Nearly Comatose, on the couch, arms above his head, mouth gaped wide open.  He notices me, then starts to writhe in nausea and and says that he feels like he "needs to puke and it won't. go. away."

I'd be much more of a loving, caring wife if I didn't have WLS also.  I just laughed at him and walked away.  I told him to call me in when he's over it.

Rosie + Elizabeth on the View.

I. need. a. moment.

Dear Nikon Digital Camera,

I loved you while we were together.  I wish you didn't cost three-quarters a mortgage payment, because, I'd have a replacement for you already.  But, I'll wait for you.  I've even added a Tip Jar on the request of a reader.  Soon, you will be in my arms again. I have decided that if I can fund a new camera, I'll learn to really use it this time around, and make it worth the cost.  I'll take wedding photos, kids portraits, anything to validate your cost.

Missing you, dearly.

Update - We Have Insurance Coverage!  I knew it!  I'm bringing her in for service/replacement.  The kicker, it can take eight weeks.  No summer photos.  ARGH.

Muscle Milk Light Ready To Drink - Chocolate Mint.

Muscle Milk Light® Ready-to-Drink, in Chocolate MINT.  Yes, please.  I had to try this stuff.  This is the ready-to-drink variety in the 8.5 oz aseptic packaging.  They also have other product that I'm going to try, if I can get my hands on more.

A couple of you emailed me to tell me about this flavor/variety of Muscle Milk Light, Chocolate Mint.  I looked around, and found it for Way Too Much Money at GNC. 

Did I mention that I loathe going to this particular GNC store?  The staff is hugely unhappy - the woman that seems to be there each time I go in - follows me like a puppy, watching me like I'm stuffing Atkins bars in my stroller.  When asked a question, she's rude and snippy.  Another reason to SHOP online. 

Now, that said, I won't be buying it EVER again if I can only find it for $7 a pack, either.

But, for the sake of blogging and all things CHOCOLATE + MINT, I did.  Bob shook his head when we were at the register, "I can't believe we're buying four tiny little boxes of protein shake for seven dollars.  This is ridiculous."  And, it was.

But.  But.  But.  It's freaking GOOD.  So, good, even.  Really good.  I was able to drink - it - straight.  (That's not often.)

Unpaid endorsement here - completely.  I really like it.  Lots of good nutrition.  TWENTY grams of protein in 8.5 ounces of easy-to-drink minty goodness for under 200 calories.  That satisfies my "requirements."  Three a day would hit all protein requirements for under 600 calories and 15 grams of fat.  Add in some healthy veggies, fruits and what have you - and you've got a good day.  I might be able to consider using this product for a full liquid diet next time (yeah, yeah...I'm stressed, it keeps bombing) because it actually tastes good.  That is, if I can find it less expensively.

"Here’s a great way to get all the great taste and performance of Muscle Milk with less fat and almost half the calories. New Muscle Milk Light delivers the nutrition-rich, flavor-packed indulgence of Muscle Milk in new lower calorie formulas. Because you can’t compromise your need for sustained energy at work or in training, but yearn to balance your weight management goals, we’re proud to offer you a product you can turn to with trust.

Adopt a smarter way to respond to snack cravings and enjoy new Muscle Milk Light as muscle-targeted snack alternative. Low blood sugar can be a distracting daily occurrence and, on a recurring basis, a serious health risk. Integrating Muscle Milk Light makes for good nutrition and good weight management as a regular part of your diet during peak training periods or during recovery cycles.

New Muscle Milk Light was developed as a result of feedback from trusted CytoSport users. They said, “Give us Muscle Milk with less fat and fewer calories, without losing that signature great taste.” We say, “Drink up, and enjoy every bit of that Muscle Milk flavor you love!”

Review to come, here.

No Wonder We're FAT!

When you go out to eat - do you try to make a "good" nutritional choice? 

Say we're going to The Olive Garden:  What would I order?  If I bothered to order anything of my OWN, it would probably be a bowl of soup.  Perusing the menu, I'd probably want the Pasta E Fagioli. (If only because , in my mind, it looks "healthier" than the Zuppa Toscana [sausage and potato] soup.  If I ate it like a normal person (I don't) I'd be easily downing to almost 600 calories, before anything else.  No breadsticks, no salad, no entree.  Nada.

That's HALF of my day's worth of calories in ONE FREAKING BOWL OF SOUP.  And, that's a healthy choice.  Is it any wonder that we are as fat as were are in this country?  It's hard to even make a healthy decision!

Thanks, Leilani for posting this at Quixotic WLS.

She grabbed the info from the AOL feature:

Olive Garden - one bowl of the Pasta E Fagioli soup has 600 calories and 10 grams of fat.

 

Chili's - Grilled Salmon Meal at 8 ounces of salmon served with sides of rice and veggies packs in 700 calories and 33 grams of fat.    Also, their Lime-Grilled Shrimp has 77 grams of fat and 980 calories.

 

Cheesecake Factory - one slice of sugar free cheesecake has 600 calories.

 

Ruby Tuesday's - Veggie burger as a healthy option, as the sandwich clocks in at a mind-blowing 943 calories and 52 grams of fat.  Mind you, this doesn't include toppings or any side dishes.

 

Uno's Pizza and Grill- Grill Chicken fajitas, a whopping 83 grams of fat and 1350 calories!

 

Panera Bread has 560 calories and 23 grams of fat into its Mediterranean ALL VEGGIE sandwich.

 

PF Changs - Sriracha Shrimp Salad, with its marinated shrimp, papaya and roasted pine nuts contains nearly a day's calorie count (1130 calories) and 46 grams of fat.

 

Jamba Juice - Matcha Green Tea Blast, 32 ounces of this smoothie will set you back 640 calories. 

I'm a Beautiful Butterfly!

A YouTube Vlog - Rebecca's Dumping Experience.

It's the real deal. We all know the feeling.

Article: Bypass Can Work Too Well. Malnutrition After Weight Loss Surgery.

A cautionary tale of complications lasting long after gastric bypass.

Source article:  http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/health/402920,CST-NWS-bypass27.article

"...her gastric bypass surgery left her unable to adequately digest food, causing severe malnutrition.  Since her 2003 surgery, Herkey has been hospitalized 11 times for malnutrition. She suffers from fainting spells, osteoporosis and severe vitamin and protein deficiencies.

In an attempt to maximize weight loss, a few surgeons have bypassed too much intestine, resulting in malnutrition. Such surgeons understand the technical aspects of the operation, but not nutrition, said Northwestern gastroenterologist Dr. Alan Buchman. "We're seeing more disasters than we should be seeing," he said.

In April 2003, Herkey decided to have surgery after seeing one of those dramatic before-and-after ads on TV.

Herkey is at home now, getting tube-fed 24 hours a day to build strength for the revision surgery. Afterward, Herkey still will have a small stomach pouch. But food will pass through a longer section of intestine, allowing better absorption, said Northwestern weight-loss surgeon Dr. Alex Nagle.

Herkey said if she could turn the clock back, she would have gone to a nutritionist, personal trainer and psychologist who specializes in eating disorders.

"I rue the day I climbed up onto that operating table," she said."

To read the entire article, please go here:

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/health/402920,CST-NWS-bypass27.article

Attention please!

I made blood!  My hematocrit today was up FOUR points!  I'm at 33 HCT, and I was at 29 HCT four weeks ago.  (Normal:  Female: 36.1 - 44.3%) My hypothesis is the fact that I am on that 12 week birth control pill, therefore I cannot bleed to death, and I had IV iron four weeks ago, and more today.  Also, another shot of B-12.  A little old lady asked me if I felt any different - and I said, "What, like Instant Energy!?  No."  She said, "Good, neither do I, and I thought I was supposed to."

Still a big scary monster.

Yep.  I'm STILL moderated. But, my in box over there is overflowing with replies.  I'm frankly surprised at all the folks out there that agree but are unlikely to say anything.  If any of you are reading here at the blog, thank you.  Wow.

Here's just a snip of one of the PM's I just opened.  (I've got more than fifty to GO now. And, I just don't have the time to reply to all.)

"Something I don't understand is why some opinions are tolerated here and others aren't.  I find that I just avoid reading the main board a lot of the time because I don't want to deal with people's attitudes. That said, count me in the group that generally agrees with what you have to say (well, most of the time anyhow!).  I'll try to speak up next time rather than lurk."

If I disappear, it's because someone put a hit on me from a message board.

I posted this message via ___________'s private message function.

"I have been on moderation for days.  I am trying to reply to posts, and they don't show up until hours and hours later.  I've had a couple of people ask me direct questions, and I cannot reply because I'm Moderated - and Moderators don't sit by the board all the time, so my posts rot in the queue.  Just venting.  I hate this selective moderation crap.  I know, I'm such a big scary monster."

This, just in my mailbox from the woman who GOT me put on moderation:

Date Sent:	May 28, 2007 - 4:00pm
From:
Subject:	RE: f r u s t r a t e d.
Frustrated, and your telling me... why? Oh yes, I know why, you are telling me because  you actually think I care.NOT ! No, you think I'm frightened of you, Ya right, get over yourself lady. Everything is just all about you  isn't Beth. You waddle your fingers over the key board to the other site and spew your insults about ___, and then come back over here. News flash, your not fooling anyone, except yourself. You don't think I can't see what your doing, please, don't insult my intelligence.   ___ knows exactly what is going on, "everything" so I am telling you, don't contact me again. I have no idea what I or any one from __ ever did to you, yet you rip us apart and treat us like we are beneath you. If I were you I would go take a chill pill or something, you look like you need it. Nuff said, leave me alone!!

You tell me - what in the hell was she doing on my "friends list?"  People added me left and right there - I had just short of 100 "friends."  WHY THE HELL DID SHE ADD ME?  (More appropriately, why did I accept?)

Should I be afraid?  Am I going to get taken out by some big dudes from ___?  Youse wanna take me to sleep wit da fishes?  I'll consider this a warning.

Not. A. Happy. Camper.

I think, part of feeling like truck ran me over lately:   Is... maybe... perhaps?  Allergies?   In addition to the general feeling like ass, I had a nasty cold virus last week, which has now dwindled to a cough that I can't get out. (Side note: After GBP, you can't "cough" and hack up nasty crap, you basically have to live with it until it's gone.  YMMV, BUT, for me, and my husband, WE CANNOT COUGH TO SAVE OUR LIVES.)  Now I'm sneezing my freaking head off, the all day off and on nose tickle/drip.  This part, at least, could just simply be allergies! 

That's fine, but I still feel like dirt aside from sneezing and hacking.  (My eyes - serious black circles.)  I've not been eating all that great - probably also partly due to feeling crappy, which in turn doesn't make me feel any better, right? 

Today - I didn't even think about what I ate, and here it is:

2 ISS Oh Yeah Protein Wafers - Vanilla PB Flavor (Yummier!)  180 calories
BLT (1/4 slice of toast, 1 slice bacon, shred lettuce, one bite tomato - wasn't feelin' it)
So, moved on to my daughter's plate:
1 Chicken Strip + few french fries
A few sips Strawberry Smoothie
Small handful mixed nuts
3 small cookies
About 1/3 C Chex Mix
1/3 C Summer Squash + one bite potato
1/2 C Pasta Salad (made by me, "healthy" Flax Pasta, kidney beans, chick peas, celery, red peppers, olives, Smart Balance "Mayo.")

Now, I am in hell from the pasta salad.  It made me sick yesterday, too.  :thumbs up:  I'm blaming the pasta because my digestive system felt OKAY until about 1/2 hour after the salad.

Tomorrow I have another iron infusion scheduled - I'm wondering how my iron levels are, since I do feel so dirt-like as of late.  Also, I've been taking the 12 week long birth-control pills (everyfreakingdayat6:30am) so I've not bled to death in almost two months.  Maybe that has helped my iron levels, maybe not.  It will be interesting to see if they are at all different.

Today, Memorial Day - we walk in a local parade for scouts.  During the walk, I stopped to pick up the baby and dropped my camera.  It's broken.  I had insurance on it - but I don't know if it's still covered.  My first instinct is "no" because it's been a year and a half that I've had it.

Classical Gas.

I've apparently had Way Too Many White Flour Carbohydrates, and for dessert, I had half a white hamburger bun (but, it's "organic?")  I was full of lovely "air," having digestive discontent that is ending in a mass exodus, with a headache and now I'm quickly headed to carb-coma land.  Let me mention though - that I've NEVER really made the connection between carbohydrates and THIS particular set of symptoms.  Never.  Not in three years.  Not until I started reading Other Peoples' Experiences with carbohydrates and equated them with mine.  Stupid ass!

So, here's a survey.

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
*Aren't all pregnancies that occur when you are 18 years 24 days old?  I mean, we were so totally stable, and ready, six months out of high school, right?

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
*Technically engaged, by about 12 hours.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
*OH MAH ****ING GAWD.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
*Nah.  Though, tossing myself down a flight of stairs was a fleeting thought.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
*18.

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
*When I gave birth.  I was all, "Uh, wut dat, it done hurt!"

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
*My Baby Daddy. 

8.DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
*Yep.  Did.

9. DUE DATE?
*09/16/1997

10. DID YOU DELIVER EARLY OR LATE?
*Coupla days.

11. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
*Every. Single. God Damned Day.  Night.  Middle of the night.  All The Time.  I puked EVERYWHERE.

12. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
*Fresh lemonade, soft pretzels and McDonald's breakfast sandwiches.  This, too, is why I got so FREAKING FAT.

13. WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
*Chafing thongs.

14. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILDS SEX?
*No penis.

15. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
*I could take this question so far.  But, I won't.  Maybe I will.  Hehehehe.

16. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
*Many, and often?  I've been pregnant like, a hundred times.

17. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
*Yes.

18. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
*I knew.  How could I NOT know?

19. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR DELIVERY?
*Yep.  I was big and fat and a mess, with high-blood pressure bordering on pre-eclamptic and things jus' waiting to go wrong. 

20. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
*In the field, whilst squatting, then back to work!

21.HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
*Eh, ten minutes, one push, and SWOOSH, there's the baby.  Then, back to picking weeds.

22.WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
*I was supposed to go to the hospital?

23.WHO WATCHED??
*The director of "Moms Gone Wild, Lactating Lovelies" and assorted crew.

24.WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
*However natural pushing a cantaloupe from your vahjayjay IS.

25.DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
*Crack.

26.HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
*Not 65 lbs.  I left the hospital weighing more than I started.

27.DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS?
*A slight case of "ImmaholdmahbreathandturnblueandyergonnaputmeintheNICU!"

28.WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
*I went for the usual:  "Get Back Here Now, Damnit!"

29. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
*Nearing double digits, pre-pubescent bitchdom has arrived.  I'm getting old.

You may, in fact, butter the rolls.

You may, in fact, butter the rolls., originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

Summahtimmmmme and the livin' is e-z.

, originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

Sabotage Sunday!

Waiting to start a diet or restart your eating plan on a Monday isn't for anyone.  It messes with your head.  Sunday isn't much better, considering I have freshly baked peanut butter ****ing cookies on the counter. 

"Beth, why do you have freshly baked cookies on the counter?" 

Well, because, him.

Because my (stupidassbuthe'sreallyagoodmanbutonewhocannotcontrolhisloveofallthingscarb)

bought two boxes of frozen cookie dough from a fund raiser, and I ate my way through most of the first box of chocolate chippers.  I felt guilty, because We Know I'm Not Losing Weight, and threw the rest away. 

Then, this morning, to make room for my frozen ice coffee cubes (I'm doing this with the leftover coffee to make "iced coffee protein shakes") I found the other box.  I felt horrible throwing away an ENTIRELY FULL box of cookie dough.  So, I baked 'em.  We were headed out to the grandma's house for the afternoon, and I'd bring them along and get 'em eaten up by, Not Me. 

The first batch came out fine, during the second batch, the phone rang.  "Bob, it's an emergency, Get Here Now."  The Bank?  It flooded.  He ran out of here like bat out of hell and the second batch burnt, but....

That's what you get for making cookies, Bob.  :x  While I feel horrible that he's now stuck at work for probably the rest of his holiday weekend, karma's a bitch, and she makes cookies.

P.S.  Yep.  I ate one anyway, because, they're warm, fresh and ready!  I am currently half-dumping on it.  Sleepy and slightly nauseous.  We never learn.

The new song on my MySpace page:

 

Everythings Just Wonderful Lyrics

"It's America, they come in, they get the surgery, and they're thrown out."

The title of the post was taken directly from an interview on ABC News with Stacey Halprin.  The interviewer, a doctor said it.  I almost poop my pants, and wrote it down as I listened to the video online.

Stacey Halprin used to be 500+ lbs.  You remember, Oprah followed her story, and gossip mags picked up on it also, and her big granny panties (we all did that, didn't we?)

 

Now, she's got a book out - Winning After Losing.  It's about Weight Maintenance AFTER weight loss. (Yeah, Something We Could All Use, Present Company Included.) I haven't read it - but I'd love to get a copy to review.  Ms. Halprin was on  ABC News the other day with this interview about the book.  

From her book, Winning After Losing:

Don’t Look at the Menu!

When you go out to eat, resist the temptation to look at the menu. Menus are like foreplay. They tease you and make you want more. The pictures are as enticing as the sexiest centerfold could ever be, and once you see them, it’s almost impossible to pass them up. Decide what you will eat before you get to the restaurant. Some restaurants have their menus online, so one option is to check it out during the day when you’re not hungry and make a decision then.

Even if you don’t know exactly what a restaurant offers, you’ve probably eaten out enough in your life to have a pretty good idea what types of food different types of restaurants serve. For instance, if I’m at a diner, I know I can order an egg-white omelet. If I’m at a steak house, I’ll ask the server if they have a veggie burger or a steak salad. When you’re with other people, order first so you’re not tempted to get what someone else is having. Be the leader. Remind yourself that nothing tastes as good as looking great and feeling on top of the world.

Two quotes from the news story:

"I did not believe in gastric bypass," she says. "To this day, I don't believe in it unless it is medically necessary. It is a really terrible thing to go through."

 

"The pain in your life does not disappear with the pounds, people are in for a huge awakening when they realize that."

Chilling in the grass.

Chilling in the grass., originally uploaded by Melting Mama.