Weight Regain.

This is part of a posting by a woman who had surgery within three weeks of me:

"Well, despite therapy, and constant food reduction attempts, I still keep steadily gaining weight since my April 2004 bypass surgery.  I never got rid of the reasons I "use" food, and even when I was looking and feeling so much better, something inside my head made me begin to creep back up in weight, by grazing and eating all the wrong unhealthy foods again.  I had originally lost 134 pounds the first year and was a model of perfection diet-wize.  But over the last two years I'm so anxiety ridden and continue to make failed attempts to go back to basics.  Many of my medical problems are re-surfacing, when I had actually thought I was going to be free of them at last.  I absolutely hate myself and my body.  It makes me sick to look down at, even my forearms!   So, the self-loathing is back and I feel so very far away from any kind of acceptable weight and good health.  I was surprised to find out how difficult it is to realize weight loss while eating so much less food anyway.  Before surgery, if I had eaten the foods I do now, I would have lost weight.  But, that's not the way my body works now.  I feel like I practically have to starve to lose anything, and then I gain it back after giving up in a few days.  I really can't imaging carving myself so slowly down to a healthy state again.  It seems so hopeless to me now.  This feels like slow death - just like before surgery, even though I've still kept some of the weight off.  I started at 334 and got down to 201 and now am 277. Is anyone out there going through something similar?  I would like to feel that I'm not so alone in this (but also hope no one IS feeling this way)."

Thing is, she's not alone, but people who get stuck in the cycle of regain often become so embarrassed that they can't bring themselves to find a way out.  To be perfectly honest - if I weren't "public" with my WLS journey, I think I would be more likely to "fail" more dramatically. 

A woman, early in her journey, emailed me yesterday, sort of to the tune of "OMG, you gained how much?!  I hope that never happens to me!  I can't believe that you can REGAIN weight after weight loss surgery!"  What she doesn't know - is that it could have been A LOT worse. 

I had a "legit" excuse, a miscarriage and subsequent pregnancy, but the moment I say that - it's turned around, and they say "Well, that's because You Were Pregnant, You CANNOT possibly REGAIN WEIGHT after weight loss surgery, that's ridiculous."  (I'm increasing the tone, obviously, but you understand.)  People just don't GET it.  WLS is not a cure for the constant, lifelong, struggle with obesity.  Some people get it - and go into their journey, well aware of the statistics of regain likelihood, and are determined to "beat the odds."  I was one of them.  I told everyone that I'd lose 100% of my excess weight, because, my surgeon told me I'd get to a certain point, and rebound, and stay there, at about 80% excess weight loss.  (Was he right?  YES.)  I still say I'll get there - but I know it's unlikely that it's for life - unless I fight the fight Every ****ing Day.  So, I'm not whining, I know what I need to do, but... please do not tell me that "OMG, you can't gain weight after weight loss surgery." 

Do not tell me it's impossible.