Flax Z Snax Low Glycemic Brownie Mix

You must smell my house right now. 

My son just came out of his room and asked me in his best sing-song voice,  "What do I smell?" 

He just went out to the kitchen to find it, what?  The pan of brownies.  Brownies, Beth!? 

No, not that kind.  I don't make that kind anymore.  This is a special mix I bought from Netrition.com in that super-fast order that came in like half a day (which apparently I will be ordering more of THIS mix!) made by Flax Z Snax. 

I was prepared to not like it - because I read some poor reviews of the product.  I think what we have here is a poorly NAMED product.  This stuff is not brownies - it's CAKE.  Brownies are typically, chewy, dense sugar-bombs of chocolate.  This is a healthy alternative- with very different texture - much more like a deep chocolate cake.  With a creative use of sugar-alternative icing, we have our next birthday cake with this mix.  I will use two bags or mix and make two "layers" of the brownies for a two layers of a cake.

Made with flax meal and real cocoa, this rich and fudgy brownie mix will satisfy your chocolate craving and provide 5 grams of fiber per serving. Wonderful for health-conscious eaters looking for a high-fiber, low-glycemic chocolate fix! And it contains only 5 net carbs per brownie."

Net Carbs
Minus Fiber

10

g

Minus Fiber & Sugar Alc.

5

g

(So, this hyper-hypoglycemic can eat a serving of these without dropping.  Score.)

Nutrition Facts
Total Calories 105    
Calories From Fat 61
Total Fat 7 g 12%       
Saturated Fat 4 g 23%       
Trans Fat 0 g
Cholesterol 39 mg 15%   
Sodium 109 mg 5%   
Total Carbohydrates 15 g 6%       
Dietary Fiber 5 g 22%       
Sugars 3 g    
Sugar Alcohols (Polyols) 5 g
Protein 3 g

Ingredients: Erythritol, low carb flour mix (enzyme enriched wheat & wheat protein, vital wheat gluten, wheat fiber, high protein patent flour, vegetable fiber, canola oil, salt, dextrose, emulsifiers, enzymes and ascorbic acid), cocoa, inulin (chicory root fiber), fructose, flaxmeal, natural flavors, vegetable gum blend, low glycemic corn starch, baking powder, salt and lohan fruit extract.

• Product: Flax Z Snax Elite Brownie Mix
• Purchased: Netrition (Link Below, cheapest there I think.) Also, from the Amazon Link.
• Cons:  Wanting to order a case at 9pm.
• Rating:  Pouchworthy TM MM

 

               

It smells like...

BROWNIES IN MAH HOUSE.

But, it's snot.

It's a "review" food.

Eyes - checked.

I called and got a last-minute eye appointment today at the only local optometrist shop that takes our stupid insurance.  Apparently the last time I had been there was November 2006, I thought for sure it was last year.  But anyways - I am more blind - as I suspected - and needed a stronger prescription.  I also got a prescription for contact lenses at the insane "fitting fee" of $59.00 (which took all of thirty seconds) which I plan to order a box online for a lot less money.  Bob was in the car with a miserable toddler, and when I sent him in to pay - I warned the sales guy that Bob would have a heart attack when he saw the bottom line, regardless of what I ended up with.

When Bob went in - he accused the salesman of being "worse than a used car dealer," and that he'd "magically increased the total," in the time I'd gone out the car to tell him to go in and pay, and that he could "find the same thing cheaper somewhere else."  At least the man just said, "Yeah, probably," and let him go.

:x

It's always the same.  No matter what.  You can't get around it.  Without the insurance, it was over $600.00.  We spent $306.00, including that $59.00 "fitting fee," so my glasses were realistically only $240.00ish.  That's not that bad.

You could only imagine the look on my face today when I saw this.

New tee!  Thanks Jennifer., originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

 

Hamster on wheel.

Methinks the Dopamax is motivating, it's giving me mad restless legs syndrome, therefore I must take a daily walk, and this is going to create a positive calorie burn and I am going to lose weight.  You may see this side effect as a negative, it's awfully irritating, but if I am getting a positive from it, I will take it.

I am going to try to be really thorough about posting my intake every day at The Daily Plate, it's easier to post there, because it's user-generated and nearly every food I eat is already logged into their system, including random wacky protein powders that I may eat ONCE.

Today I'm at 167.  I keep landing here, it's obviously where my body wants to be.  But, I'm moving my butt more than I have been, and hopefully we'll see a change soon.

Anyway.

Breakfast-
1 scoop Syntrax Matrix Chocolate Truffle Protein Powder
1 shot espresso
4 oz soymilk
Crushed ice

Lunch
About a 1/3 of a Papa Ginos' Meatball Sub (the boy's leftovers, I was in an eye appointment during lunch, got the glasses ordered, BTW, more on that in a moment.)

Snack
Nilla Wafers

What was I thinking?

I wasn't particularly hungry today, until late - when I decided to heat up some leftover dinner.

Stuffing - you know, the kind you shove up a birds ass?  It is of the carbohydrate devil.  I may die.  My heart is beating out of my chest I am dumping so hard.  It was instant, too.  I don't know what made me think it was something I should EVER eat.

It's not a phone.

It's not a phone., originally uploaded by Melting Mama.

He lasted 48 hours.  I won the bet.  It was the "cheapest" plan.  He could not stand being without a phone.

iDork.

I know you guys know that I am technologically impaired. 

I have issues with things that require any sort of figuring out, and with the lack of brain-power a hypoglycemic on Topamax has, please don't laugh at me.  I have an iPod, I've had it for months.  Mr. MM bought it for me when he went to play with iPhones thinking he might want one and thought better of it.

I don't know how to use the damn thing.  I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to:

• A)  Make a playlist with suitable walking music so that I stop flipping songs mid-stride, because it's an iPod touch and that's tricky.
• B)  Download an audiobook because I have two gift-cards to use and that would be a really good way to spend them.
• C) Subscribe to and listen to podcasts whilst walking, because, my feet are on fire from the Topamax and I am going to kill someone if I don't walk to China soon.

OMGZ I like totally wantz one!

Let's play Bimbo!

Permalean Protein Bars

I have a problem.  I have lots of problems, I know, but one of my biggest is that I am a protein bar junky, and I don't like many I try.  I'll try any low sugar protein bar once or three times just to make for damn well sure I don't like it, because I have such a limited variety of foods that I can eat at this stage in my life.  So when I saw "Jim's PermaLean Protein Chocoholic Chocolate" online - I had to try it - you know - just to make sure I didn't like it.  If you go click away before you read this, or you are impatient and want to know where to buy it Right Now!?  Scroll to the end of the post.

"Enjoy Gourmet Protein Crunch between breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner, and in the evening...or as a meal replacement. Let Permalean be your vital source of protein to aid your pursuit of a lean, new you.

* Rare Blend Includes Whey Isolates, Soy Isolates
and Milk Protein!
* No Preservatives
* No Transfatty Acids! No Hydrogenated Oils!
* No Fractionated Oils! Naturally Flavored!
* No Artificial Sweeteners! All Natural Vitamin E!

Sounded good to me, as does anything chocolate, so here goes.

The nutrition?

That's a LOT of protein for a >200 calorie protein bar.  The carbohydrates are at a decent level, lower than others, and the net carbs are fantastic, so I assumed I wouldn't have a reactive hypoglycemic event with this bar. 

It does contain maltitol, which bugs some people, including me (I have to be honest)  but - if I stick with a low amount per day I seem to be fine - so I limit my maltitol consumption to my protein-supplements or snacks ONLY that means NO SUGAR FREE "CANDY" PRODUCTS IN MY LIFE WHATSOEVER EVER EVER.  The maltitol in most of the supplements is about 5-10 grams, and that seems "okay," with my gut once or twice a day.  (Beyond that - oh no, oh no no no.)

Here goes!

The PermaLean Chocoholic Chocolate Bar is cute.  She's 1.76 solid packed ounces, very dense.  The smell, quite chocolaty.  The outer chocolate coating tastes of real milk chocolate candy, surprising,  I think it actually is, it doesn't have a chemical-taste at all. 

The inside is thick - chocolate nougat?  Oh - I know!!!  THREE MUSKETEERS BAR.  All the way.  It's way denser and chewier, but the flavor is there.  Awesome.  There are a few little bits of soy crisps inside, but they're spass.  The bar left no wacky chemical aftertaste, and finished like a candy-bar, sweet and easily eaten. 

I'm a happy girl.  (Doesn't take much.) 

• Product:  PermaLean Protein ChocoHolic Chocolate Protein Bar  (Also comes in Stark Raving Peanutz.  Review coming tomorrow.)
• Purchased:  Available through Bariatric Advantage (Links in the sidebar) and PermaLean (Tell 'em "Melting Mama," sent you!  I like that, I got tee shirt last time!  :D)
• Price:  It was a free sample via the good peeps at PermaLean to review for you good peeps that read this.  They are $2ish each.
• Pros:  Real milk chocolate, no chemical tastes, 21 grams of protein, 3 net carbs, tastes like a Three Musketeers, sorta.
• Cons:  Tastes like a Three Musketeers, Sorta. 
• Rating:  Pouchworthy! TM MM.

The comments would like a Three Muskeeters Bar, made with no sugar, no sugar alcohols, no calories and no farts.

        

Beth makes a bet with the internet.

It takes Mr. MM less than 7 days from today to get a new cell phone plan.  He can't stand it.  We've been cell-less for what, 48 hours?

Leech.

Yesterday at the hematology office, I met with a nurse practitioner who I had spoke with only on the phone. (my doctor wasn't there because my scheduled appointment isn't until next week, I felt really anemic this week, like my heart wanted to beat out of my chest when I was exercising, so I asked for iron)  When updating my file, I had to tell her that I am now taking anti-seizure medication, because I had another grand mal seizure since I had been in for my last iron infusion. 

She looked at me half-confused, half-terrified and promptly told me to tell the infusion nurses if I felt a "seizure coming on."

I snickered and told her truthfully - "I have NO idea when it's going to happen - so watch out," adding "You guys have a code cart, you're totally prepared for that kind of thing."  At least she found the humor in it.  I did tell her that seriously, I hadn't had a big one since I started the drugs.

Later, the nurse practitioner mentioned having worked in the infusion department of hospital I had bariatric surgery at, and she asked, "Did you go back there for any of this?  I mean, it seems like it's all related to your gastric bypass, isn't it?"

I was honest with her, I haven't been back there since my year post-op visit. 

No, that's a lie - I did go back - I went there for a prenatal visit where I was consulted to have an abortion, because I "couldn't nutritionally support a fetus" (mixed feelings on that subject, considering I had a post op baby, but...)  Then, to an endocrinologist when I realized that I was going to crash my car if I ate a meal, and I didn't think he took me very seriously either, but I'm seriously digressing.

My point was - she was saying that lots of us end up in her chair for intravenous therapy because we suck.

Sweet n Low.

Seeing potential for a blog title right there.

Twice today. 

Just now, laying in bed, watching a movie.  Shaking, sweating, "poop, sugar is low."  A few hours ago, in a store, "We need to leave, I have to test RIGHT NOW.  I have to eat RIGHT NOW."  Both times, 50ish mg.

Okay, still shaking, having just had to eat half of the fridge, goodnight.

Spass.

Going to an mostly chemotherapy-filled infusion suite for my iron and B12 is quite humbling, because each and every time I am reminded how very healthy I am.  In spite of my various "little things" I'm okay and that's all that matters.

My blood levels are slightly down, not much (9 + 30) but my red blood cells are smaller. They were already too small, now they are smaller, or microcyctic.  Instead of going back monthly, I'm going back in a week for another dose of iron.

I'm aching like I have another virus - immediately after this dose of iron too - so I think I'm off to take some Tylenol and drink hot tea.  Last time I got the iron, I was up all night with chills and aching.

ETA:  Ten minutes later, my legs are killing me, and I am dying.  I hate this feeling.

I want to bite your neck.

I have an appointment at the hematologist tomorrow.  I think I am more anemic than previously even if I had better levels at the end of January, I think they have dropped like a rock.  I feel it.  (I can see it too.)

 

My heart feels like it's working too hard again.  I have been exercising "more," (translation: walking outside a few times a week for a half hour to an hour) but yesterday, although I felt well enough to do it - I had to physically make myself stop for a moment a few times to let my heart catch up because it's doing that...

"Oh poop GASP! You Don't Have Any Oxygen GASP! In Your Blood Beth I Can't Do This GASP! Right Now!"

At other times, I notice I'm winded and just BEAT by stupid normal hourly occurrences, like coming up the stairs carrying a child/laundry/a shoe?!  I stopped and held the wall up twice in the last two days.  Not. Normal. 

The more I move - the worse it gets - but I have to do more.  Resting is not an option.

The anti-seizure medication gives me the prickly-tingly restless feet, so moving is even more required.  Except, I think it's taking away what coordination I have left.  One entire container of filtered water for the coffeemaker, splash, the coffee soon after?  Splash....

*

The laptop is working.  The "S" is sticking. 
 

I think I have a stuck.

A little while or maybe a few hours ago I had a stressful moment in which every perishable food item we owned was splayed on the counter, and the appliance delivery man told me that the "dryer was on backorder."  Did he not see the tub of sopping wet muddy clothing?  Oh no. 

I think the look on my face meant bidness and the tone of my voice sounded harsh, because that dryer rolled in a separate vehicle in an hour.  That is customer service right there.

But, during that moment, I was hungry and ate something I didn't think about first, and I think it got stuck and it's clogged my protein bar and it hurts.  It was one of those Flat-Out Wraps, I just threw some sprouts and mayo in it.  It felt fine at the time - but now - a protein bar later I have like - acid indigestion.  I think it's st-st-stuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  It feels like actual heartburn which I never ever get because I do not have any acid in my stomach pouch.

Chubbies Means Something Entirely Different.

At least it's free.  Can you imagine an ad like this running today?  I would be slack-jawed and probably in tears, although I still get Lane Bryant and it's sister catalogs, and they all give me a twinge of sad. 

They would have to change the wording regardless - Free For Chubbies has a slightly different meaning.

Free For Fatties?  Ugh.  Please send me your Chubby Fashion Book!

bits + pieces, of cars and things.

The man who backed into Bob in the parking lot? 

Showed up at our house the other night, in the dark, scaring the poop out of me. 

He wanted the vehicle identification number for the van to give to his garage.  Bob had tried to tell him, repeatedly, we ALREADY GOT A CHECK FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANY to fix the vehicle. 

We are waiting on him to finish his statement to cover additional funds for the vehicle rental so we can actually drop the car off and get it fixed.  The man called here again last night - from a blocked number - I handed Bob the phone - and he just told him that they'd have to catch up later.

I don't get it.  What is the big deal?

This man is an employee of the State of Massachusetts, he is apparently in charge of, ironically enough, a fleet of trucks.  Oh.

*

In other news, we have some household appliances coming today, most useful - the dryer!  No more dying elephant noises from the basement to wake up Tristan!  I already have dirty clothes in my tub, because all hell broke loose the moment the washer and dryer were disconnected last night.

The kids + slightly warmer weather and swampy water down the street?  Mmm.  One pair of shoes, a total loss yesterday, one sole came off.  They were worn, but, wow.  The smell was ghastly.

This morning, my coffee + a backpack on the table + the laptop.  The mess, huge, but the liquid went under it this time, not over the keys, and it's working as of RIGHT NOW.  *sigh*

*

I'm slightly more medicated.  I had to increase the anti-seizure medication last night from one 25 mg. pill to two, and then I will soon add another 25 mg. pill to my morning routine also, for a daily total of 100 mgs.

MY CONSTANT TINGLING FEET ARE DRIVING ME BAT poop. 

But otherwise, I can't really tell many side effects, maybe a bit of visual changes, not too many cognitive issues - who knew?  This stuff is supposed to make me dumber than a box of rocks, but... like I told the good doctor - I am opposite girl - maybe this medication will get me into college!  :x

Why the long face?

My husband just got his a new drivers' license photo - the first one since he lost two hundred pounds. 

He had been carrying a photo identifying himself as a 370 pound man that looked like some sort of felon for years, and now, I'm not so sure the new photo at 170 pounds is any better.

When the temporary license was handed to him at the registry, he said, "OMG, what happened to my head?" 

The clerk explained, "Well, sir, it e-long-gated the photo."

I'll upload the license photo later.  Hehehe.

Doctor's CarbRite Diet Bar - Lemon Meringue

When I made that super-fast Netrition order, I added some single bars that I never tried before - Doctor's CarbRite Diet Bars.  I resisted the urge to add an entire case of the Lemon Meringue variety, just because of it's flavor - because we all know how vastly different protein bars can be compared to what you think you are getting.

This bar is not my friend.  It's all protein and sugar alcohol.  It's soy and whey, with maltitol and lactitol.  Sure, that's fine if you like to fart, crap yourself and then pass out.  Okay, if you're not a roux en y gastric bypass'er, maybe you'll just fart.

I'll, uh, pass.

To be fair to the bars:  My husband ate another of the bars, in the Chocolate Mint flavor - cold out of the fridge - and really liked it.  He called it  "Really good, but you have it eat it cold because it's like a fudge."  Oh.  And he did not implode that badly or go to the big sleep.  Though he did fart pretty harshly.

• Product:  Doctor's CarbRite Diet Bar
• Purchased:  Online
• Pros:  Lemon!  20 grams of protein!  "Creamy" texture.  That's sarcastic.
• Cons:  Instant bowel implosion and later coma.