2:16am.

I am in California, safe and sound.  Night!

Mile high club.

No, not really.  I refuse to even use the toilet on an airplane.  It's one of the dirtiest places you can go.  Gack.  No. No. No.

I am off in two hours to Logan Airport with Jennifer, she's coming as my seeing eye human, because I was slightly terrified of going to California alone a few months ago.  Now that I have gone to Philly and Texas alone, LA doesn't seem all. that. horrible. but I knew that if I was going to have the worst hypoglycemic event OR the biggest seizure EVER, it would totally happen en route to LA, solo.  I figured that if someone were to come with me, another post-op would be perfect, and Jennifer is a post-op, and since Mr. MM is a pain in the ass, she'd be more funner.

So, the two of us combined, have like $600 cash, and that's not enough for bail money.  Keep that in mind if you get a desperate call from California in the next three days.

Faux Pumpkin Pie Fage

I got this from a YouTube subscriber:

"It's like eating creamy pumpkin pie in a bowl..."

• Greek yogurt (Oikos, Fage..)
• Canned pumpkin (NOT PIE FILLING)
• Stevia, Truvia (Or Splenda)
• Blended Pumpkin Pie Spice

Quitting.

I emailed the neurologist the other day, whining and complaining about the brain melting.

His curt answer, "Stop the meds."

I basically, said, "Yeah, but, WHAT THE FUCK?"

He said something to the effect of:  "But, if the meds are making you that miserable and scared that you're going to have a seizure, stop them."

What if I have THE. BIG. ONE. in Los Angeles Airport, and, and?  No.  Not just yet.  The Dopamax is 'working' if I have not had a grand mal seizure since I started taking it.  SO WHAT IF I FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN IS MADE OF PURE OATMEAL, that happens to be ELECTRIFIED?

He then suggested that I quit taking it when I get back from California, and I go back to the neurology unit for a quick stay with the EEG helmet and we try alternative medication.  Because?  Because, I have had way too many of the mini-swooshes while on this drug to say that it's really working for me, unless they are not really seizure issues, but then again, who the hell knows what's wrong with me anyway.  (The swooshes were my initial complaint when I went to the PCP in 2006.)

I can only hope that we see something on the EEG when I get hooked up again.  (We saw nothing in January, no seizure activity, right after a real live fall on the floor seizure.) 

Ouch. But, yum.

Close to where we moved, there's a little grocery store with lighting that doesn't really offend my eye-brain connection.  (I have a really bad problem with the lighting in big box stores, I am hoping it's the seizure medication and NOT the seizures causing this, because it's becoming very AGGRAVATING and nearly stopping me from going anywhere...) 

Bob brought me there today to check it out because it's literally the closest option for me to get to for the bread, soy milk, and CALIFORNIA ROLLS.  Word.  When I am driving again (which I can, by the way, now, but I am terrified to) this would be my store for food.  Think of Whole Foods, but in miniature.  I ADORE WHOLE FOODS.  We don't have it around here, it's a hike for groceries, and complete insanity on the weekends. 

Anyway, I didn't pay much attention to prices in this store, because we just picked up a few things, but I am sure it's a bit high, because it's in a not 'gated' community.  I was more interested in seeing that they had what I buy - in stock - like my unsweetened soy milk, zero calorie dressing, some organics/natural foods, yogurts, fresh produces, Boars' Head Deli, great cheeses, olives, hummus, lots of good stuff, oh and the sushi bar, lol.

The reason for this post though - I got a small box of vegetable rolls - ate one - and it's killing my guts.  I cannot eat raw carrots.  BAH.  I didn't inspect what else was inside the roll, but it HURTS my intestines.  It was a sticky wrapper, with avocado (safe), match stick carrots (not safe at all), and various veggies that I didn't care, because they were YUMMY, and now it HURTS.  BOO.

Most. unpleasant. thing. ever.

I ran out of vitamins.  Completely.  This is a good thing, you know why?

IT MEANS THAT I LIKE THEM AND I AM TAKING THEM. 

I have none in the house.  I have used up all of my supplies, all of my Bariatric Advantage AND my Celebrate Vitamins. 

I dug for leftovers of the good stuff, nothing.

What did I find? 

• A container of prenatal vitamins, stale dated for October 2007 and I threw them away.
• A three pack of Centrum Vitamins dated October 2008!  These are what I always took, so I cracked in to them, and started...

CHEWING. 

THIS, THIS?!  THIS IS NOT THE FLAVOR I REMEMBER?!  Yeah, they ARE NOT Celebrate by ANY STRETCH, BUT JAYSUS!  IF I JUST KEEP CHEWING I WON'T VOMIT! 

I then ran to the sink, gagged, gagged, spit and lost my vitamin.

What a freaking baby.

I am such a baby.

What a wuss.

I went to the package.

These?  They are not chewables.  Oops.

Do you ever just get tired?

Of thinking about food?  Dealing with food?  Having to eat the way 'we' have to eat?  If you are another weight loss surgery post op that is, do you?  Don't you just GET SICK OF IT SOMETIMES?  Don't you just want to throw all the fucking rules down the toilet and HAVE whatever you want, when you want it?

(Why yes, yes I do!  Thanks for asking!)

But, I pretty much do within limits.  I do not stray very far. 

I eat carbs.
I eat sugar.
I drink Diet Soda + espresso, with meals even.

I eat many things that would make the skin crawl on those of you who stick by your surgeons' post-op plan like it was the Bible.  But, it's always within limits.  I never eat so much that I get sick on purpose, nor do I eat so much sugar that I dump on purpose, there are lots of post ops that do.  Sure, it happens.  In fact, I just ate a cup of chili for dinner and my heart raced a little bit, but I did not plan that it would make me sick, shit happens.

Whatever, I'm just bitching a little bit.  I think this is just the result of Mr. MM's frustration frothing over TO ME.  He is noticeably frustrated by his stress-eating weight gain.  Today started his week of vacation, and he went COLD TURKEY on his DD muffin habit.  His body freaked out.  He's been sick on and off the potty all afternoon.  He's in bed now, sleeping off his lack-of-carb coma.

What about you?  Do you just want to give in sometimes - to say - fuck it all - I QUIT!? 

Or - does your success thus far kick in and say WHAT ARE YOU THINKING YOU MORON?  YOU ARE 150 POUNDS PUT THE REESES PENIS CUP DOWN AND WRITE THE BLOG POST!

;)

PS.  FWIW, they are in the freezer.  He bought THREE BAGS.  THREE.  I didn't eat one now.  I had one earlier today.

Hollywood East, it's a go.

The project got the green light last night, and is about four miles (or less?) from my house.  Woot.  I am excited by this.  There are thousands of people waiting of job opportunities for this project, but even still, it's a cool thing.

Town meeting voters on Monday night approved zoning and tax exemptions that will allow construction of a $400 million movie and television production studio planned for the current site of the 240-acre Waverly Oaks golf course.

Plymouth Rock Studios is expected to include 14 sound stages, a 10-acre back lot, a theater, a 300-room hotel in a small village center and an education center.

Nearly 1,000 people attended the meeting, although only about 100 town meeting members could vote.

Plymouth Rock Studios founder David Kirkpatrick says he was "flabbergasted" by the town's rapid approval of the project.

Maybe another.

This one is eerie, because I can relate EXACTLY.  (If this makes no sense to you - I have been getting emails from other post WLS people who are also dealing with seizures and no diagnosis.  You can read more about it here.)  If you are having seizures or neurological/brain problems since your weight loss surgery, I urge you to find a doctor, add yourself to my registry and email me if you find a doctor that is willing to talk.

"I posted on OH a while back about some horrible spells I was going through and someone directed me to your website.

I felt compelled to tell you what has been happening to me.  I had surgery 2 years ago this October.  8 months ago I went to see my PCP because my tongue started to go numb and a burning sensation.  She said it was Neuropathy from the GB.  Gave me some meds.  Seemed to not help and just went away on its own.  Then came back again every few weeks.

5 months ago, I started to feel this weird feeling come over me. Something coming up over my head and left me confused, heart racing, sweaty and clamy.  I thought, gosh that was scary.  I would be tired for a few days after that.  Then, I would be ok for a few weeks.  Then it happened again. This time really intense.  I started to not feel good a few days before, then "it" happened.  Whatever these "spells"  would happen again.  I would get close to passing out.  Feel like I couldn't move, couldn't speak... Left side of my face numb.. I went to my PCP and told her what is happening.  She said it sounds like Hypoglycemia.  I did a sugar test and it came back positive.  So she sent me to the endocrinologist.  They gave me a blood sugar tester and ran test on everything they take care of.  I was testing away 8 times a day.  My Blood sugar never went below 85.  I felt fine, but off I guess you could say.  Then I started  feeling it come again.  I kept testing all the next 4 days.  Never below 85. 

To make a long story short, These spells were happening 5 times a day. Never thought it could be seizure because I don't fall to the ground and shake. But, it always felt like that.  I just sit there with a melting feeling, not able to move, speak. numb left side, only cry as it is happening. My 16 year old had to call 911 cuz it happened one morning and I ended up having a panic attack after it because I was so scared.  The worse part I think is that I don't pass out, i can feel it all mentally and then physically after wards.  The ER doc told me to go see a neurologist.  I had to get approval from my insurance so I went to see my PCP.  She told me that is sounds like Silent or absence Seizures.  What the heck is that?  The last 6 weeks I have been off work, told not to drive, shower alone.  all that good stuff.  I saw the Neurologist. He said that he doesn't think that is what it is because you just don't start having seizures at 38??  My EEG, and MRI came back normal.  All Vitamins are normal.  No heart issues, no blood pressure issues.  Fricken nothing.

Reluctantly, He has put me on anti seizure meds.  They are working.  I still have the feeling right before you have a seizure, but it doesn't go further."

WASSUP.

Vote.

She will never learn.

• Last night Mr. MM invited work people over for work people socializing. 
• Mr. MM gathered too much junk food.  (He bought all the food on his own, not a vegetable in sight, except a jar of salsa and a veggie pizza.)
• I threw away much of the opened bags of chips.  I felt a slight twinge of guilt but not really.
• But, I could not bring myself to waste several WHOLE UNEATEN PIZZAS.
• Subconsciously, I think I ruined TWO whole pizzas by putting them on the porch to be put in the garage for in the other fridge, where they blew away in the 40 mph winds.  :x
• Then, I ate meat pizza for breakfast.
• I ate handful of POTATO CHIPS for snack!  WTF?!  I don't EAT CHIPS!  (Unless, they're in my face.)
• And, I ate cheese pizza for lunch.
• Now, I am dumping on pizza.  (I never do, it's weird!  I am a frequent pizza eater. It's HORRIBLE pizza too, hardly any sauce or cheese, it's all dough, which might be why I am sick.)

What have we learned?  Obviously, if there's shit in my house - I will eat it.  That doesn't change.  I don't buy the stuff, but if other people do, I will drive myself batshit knowing it's in the house.  The answer?  Don't bring it in my house, kthanks.

• In other news, my dog is miserable.  She. won't. stop. barking. outside - our new neighbors are sure to love me.
• I can't leave her indoors, because she is tearing around in circles and wants to kill me.  She's peed on the carpeting twice, it's brand new, the one she decided to piss on -and the wood floors, once, and in her crate.  This isn't a toddler, I refuse to deal with a dog that needs a diaper.   I give her 24 hours before I list her for adoption.
• My cat?  Is happy as a CLAM.  He is so happy we moved to where there are animals to kill.  :/

Happy Halloween with Richard Simmons And Paula Butter! Deen.

Oh. my. gawd.

(Sorry for the quality, it's the only upload I have found online so far.)

Elmo Live!

Tristan is getting this for her birthday party from my mom.  We played with it yesterday.

A friggin' great review. I love you Allison.

This stuff is catching on.  Check it out. Another review here.

Political Postsecret.

From this week's Postsecret.

Another one.

A new comment from “sherry” was received on the post:

“Another one of us.  Post RNY Gastric Bypass Seizure Syndrome.  There I named it.” of the weblog “melting mama ”.

Comment

"I had my WLS Jan 1999. Everything went fine with the surgery.

3 yrs later I had my first seizure. The doctor's did not know what caused the seizure, everything came back normal (no B-12 deficiency or low iron).

2 yrs later I had another seizure, which was doctor's thought was due to low blood sugar, but other than that everything came back normal.

2 yrs after that I had another seizure, this time I had extremely low iron and vitamin B-12.

6 months later yet again I had another seizure due to very low iron and vitamin B-12.

Now from the start of the first seizure to the last if I would have stuck on my medication I think and hope that I wouldn't have had as many as I did.

I don't know. I have been, due to my daily medication intake, seizure free for over a year now and hope to NEVER have another seizure! To think of the pain and worrying that I have put my husband, children, family, and friends through with all of this, makes me sad.

I had no idea that this was a problem not only for me but with a whole bunch of people. I'm not one to sit on the computer and just look up things, but I'm glad I did about this. I will be having a chat with my neurologist about the possible likeness of the gastric bypass and seizures."

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Apparently you heard me, ye Gods of cell.

Remember how I wrote about how I hated my cellphone?

Great.  Because?  It's missing.  I haven't left the premises - and - it's gone.

Now, it's obviously dead, so I may never find it.

I left it on a counter.  I was blaming the baby - but she can't reach.

Spooky!

I can so do this! Look kids, Tampon Fun!

Oh Yeah Ready To Drink Protein Shake

Now that I've reviewed this, and read over the stats, you can use this as a total meal replacement.  That makes it a little mo' bettah than previously discussed. Update - these also now come in a cute 8 ounce size!

What's in it?

Ingredients: Filtered Water, Diafiltered Skim Milk, OhYeah!® Proprietary Protein Blend (Milk Protein Concentrate, Whey Protein Concentrate, Calcium Caseinate), Sunflower, Safflower and/or Canola Oil And Less Than 2% Of: Cocoa Processed With Alkali, Vitamin & Mineral Blend (Potassium Citrate, Magnesium Phosphoate, Sodium Phosphate, Potassium Phosphate, Sodium Ascorbate, Ferric Orthophosphate, Zinc Amino Acid, Tocopheryl Acetate, Biotin, Vitamin A Palmitate, Niacinamide, Phytomenadione, Potassium Iodide, d-Calcium Pantothenate, Chromium Chloride, Copper Amino Acid, Cyanocobalamin, Sodium Molybdate, Sodium Selemite, Folic Acid, Cholecalciferol, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Riboflavin, Thiamine, Manganese Sulfate), Lactase, Natural And Artificial Flavors, Cellulose Gel, Cellulose Gum, Acesulfame Potassium, Datem, Sucralose, Xanthan Gum, Salt.  Contains: Milk

• Product - ISS Oh Yeah! Ready To Drink Meal Replacement Protein Shake
• Via - The first on at a vitamin store, subsequent bottles via Gastric Bypass Supplements
• Pros - SEXY BOTTLE, meal replacement, lotsa vites, whopper of a protein punch, low sugar, 220 calories for a meal, smaller bottles available too, perfect for new post ops
• Cons -  A touch of dry mouth feel afterwards.
• Rating - Pouchworthy, ^MM.

Lists.

• Coming.  I mean it!  I have things!  I found ISS Oh Yeah RTD, no I lie, I personally did not find it, but I have some in the fridge - and I may actually DO A REAL LIVE (sorta) YouTube today if I can get the two year old(!) TAZ in for a nap.
• We also have a new skool schedule here, and it's screwed us up.  The day is different.  My 11 year old is now in middle school, and it's a Bit Overwhelming, with a locker, a combination, and BOOKS!? 
• But, we're nearly unpacked, and realized how little crap we have.  I need a Furnishings Fairy, ASAP, or An IKEA Instant Button?  Something, anything.
• I realized last night that we may have to move a room or two around already.  One child is not having his room where it is, it's spooky.  We gave him a giant room in the lower level - and it's just too far away from us. 
• And, I think I need to move this computer set up to where the livingroom now is (we didn't have a livingroom before - OR an office - now I have both?!)  but being in here, I can't see what SHE IS DOING (right now she is physcially sitting in a cardboard box watching Doodlebops) and that's no good.  I don't want to lock the tornado in this small room with me (the "office") I would rather move me out to the giant room.
• Seven days to get on a plane to California.  I ripped my hot for teacher dress (I brought it with me to Texas, I forgot to unzip the side to take the stupid thing off!) that I was wearing on day two.  SHIT.  I sent it off with Bob to the dry cleaner/tailor to see if they'll fix it fast.
• I have my costume here.  I am afraid to try it on.  I still need shoes to go with it.  I tried it on.  It will work.  It's a little big in places, but, whatever.
• Um.  There's loud noise, GOTTA GO.