In which I get more than I ever dreamed of.

Last you heard, I had enlisted my husband’s support in my quest to have Weight Loss surgery.  It was given grudgingly and somewhat conditionally.  My husband had quite snarkily asked me what my father would think about that choice, fully expecting my father to come down on the side of “No way, Jose.”

 

Weighty Secrets is now...

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Are you glad you did it?

  

By Christina:

There is no simple yes or no answer to this question for me.  Just a few days ago, when I was at the end of my cash and had forgotten to take any meat out of the freezer for dinner, I wished I could fill my belly with a cheap meal of cheesy pasta with tomato sauce.  Unfortunately, my belly has decided that even a small portion of that is evil.  I was mourning the "easy food" days pre-surgery, days when I didn't have to plan what to eat because all food was edible and I didn't have to worry about protein.  I was hating having had WLS.

Detour Lower Sugar Bar Chocolate Chip Caramel.

I am a sucker for new flavors or packaging I don't remember seeing before.

I haven't liked any of the previous Detour bar line before, why would I buy more?  Because of the pretty wrapper, of course.

OhYeah! Protein Pudding!

• 16 ounces OhYeah! Ready to Drink Protein in any flavor (It comes in Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry, those of you who just got the 8 ounce bottles from OhYeah! use two!)
• 1 packet sugar free Jello pudding mix (Your choice)
• Mix the daylights out of it and let mixture set in fridge for 15-20 minutes.

Protein Pudding that doesn't take like monkey ass!  It was smooth, thick and super-good.  Not too gelatinous that I could not eat it, remember, I am not a fan of pudding.  I ate a few bites and threw it in the freezer for scraping delight later.

• Or - use ice cube trays and popsicle sticks for OhYeah! Protein Pops*!

From Couch to Triathlete - A Sleeve Story

^{Watch of for this one. She can kick your ass. - MM}

Hi, I’m Marie. Some of you know me as MacMadame. I am one of Melting Mama’s new guest bloggers and it’s time to tell my weight loss surgery story.

Mo'nique's weight loss, "without surgery?"

Because it's a title in the making. The overweight comedian has been known for her size, and now she's losing weight, OMG! 

Good for her.

Source: http://straightfromthea.com/2009/08/19/the-incredible-shrinking-woman-monique-precious-movie-trailer/

“I was very comfortable at 262 pounds,” she says. “I’m in the bathroom mirror one day admiring 262. And Sid says to me when he comes out of the shower, ‘Mama, how much do you weigh?’ I said, ‘262.’ And he said, ‘Mmm.’”

Mo’Nique says she knew something was coming next. “He said to me in the most gentle, loving way, ‘I want you for a lifetime,’” she says. “Baby, I started working out right then.”

Rumors have circulated that Mo’Nique took the easy way out and had gastric bypass surgery, but she flatly denies those accusations. The author of “Skinny Bitches Are Evil” and “Skinny Cooks Can’t Be Trusted”

But, whoa.

Not entirely safe for work:

Some basic pre-op concern questions.

An old pal from my AOL days is looking into weight loss surgery, and sent these questions over. I know they look like things I've answered a hundred times before, but you know what?  Answers change over time as I grow with this body.  I know she wants the truth, and I am not in the business of selling surgery.

How long ago did you have your surgery….

• April 5th, 2004.

How long did it take you to recover from it….

• I felt like sheer death for a few days, I have fond memories of the ride home from Boston.  NOT ANOTHER BUMP, YOU ASSHOLE!  O-o  But not SO awful that I couldn't waddle through the store within those same days.

Have you achieved your goal, or at least most of it….

• No, never.  My goal is disgustingly low, considering my height, so, no.  I've never touched it.  I "should" be between 115-130 something pounds, and I've never gotten beyond 149.  149 lbs is a good weight for me, and when/if I ever have plastic surgery, it's damn small and good enough.  I hit that weight and rebounded to 170 and got pregnant.  During pregnancy I hit 210 lbs.  I have been playing in the range of 155-170 lbs since then and it's the most difficult NOW to change.

Would you do it again, knowing what you do now...

• Simply stated, no.  I did not know enough of the "could happens."  If I could "go back and do it all over again," I would, but likely pick a different path.  I can't give you advice.  I can't tell you what to do.  But if you were my sister?  I'd probably say, gastric banding.  Yeah, it's slower loss, and yeah it's got higher regain rates, but it is a teaching method that can WORK, and won't cause mal-absorption and the issues that come from rerouted innards.

Positives from surgery over the years…..

• Nearly 100% success in the weight loss department, actually, my surgeon's goal for me was 175.  So, there, I did it.  320 - 149 - 210 - 155 - 170.  Overall, being smaller works for me.  Sad, but true, you get treated better as a normal-sized person, doors are held for you, drinks are bought for you -- and so on.

Negatives from surgery over the years…..

• For ME: Dehydration, kidney stones, weight loss stalls, gas of DEATH, food issues, food intolerances, dumping, late dumping, diarrhea, severe constipation, severe reactive hypoglycemia, neurological symptoms, vitamin deficiency, severe anemia, vertigo, seizures.
• For Mr. MM:  Dehydration, severe pain in blind stomach requiring re-admit and scoping, constipation, food intolerances, dumping, late dumping, diarrhea, reactive hypoglycemia, sometimes severe, the worst powerful gas on EARTH and bowel distress often





• For Grandma Mr MM:  Strictures, bradycardia, low protein levels, anemia, very severe constipation, severe vertigo requiring meds and therapy, dumping, and lots of complications with post-WLS plastic surgeries.
• For Mr. MM's Sister:  Problems with slow weight loss, and assorted similar complaints.
  

How hard is it to stick to the diet/exercise plan……

• The diet is easy as pie in the beginning.  You are FORCED into it.  There is NO way to cheat.  Starvation works. It's not until 9+ months or closer to 24 months that the real problems start regarding food demons.  By the time you can eat normal small meals, you have had better dealt with the food issues and emotional eating, or you're on the road to regain without a doubt.
  

Kiss my boo boo

I slammed my favorite finger between the bathroom door and closet door.  It felt good. Then I picked a new finger.

Forever ago I reviewed a bar from the Nugo Nutrition line and I HATED it.  It was simply gorgeous and photographed well, but it tasted like sour milk.

Then.  I found this:

And my view of the world changed.

I love you dark chocolate Nugo. I am so sorry for being a bitch.  I take it back.  Mostly.  Friends?

HISS.

Beth opens a protein shake.  Beth sips.  Beth finds fucking chunks, again.

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

ETA:  I love my ready to drink, drinks -- but I have had to throw many of them away because I get entirely skeeved out by this protein floater chunk phenomenon, or put them in the blender, which kills the purpose of a Ready To Drink, no?  It's also aggravating because this shit is NOT CHEAP.

Try two new Vitamin Drink mixes!

"Tired of constantly taking a daily multitude of different vitamins in different shapes, sizes, textures, and of dubious flavors?" 

At SmartForme, spend $125 and receive a box of blueberry pomengranate flavored Vitamin Drink Mix and a box of citrus-flavored Calcium and Magnesium Drink mix, a nearly $24.00 value.  This seems to be the new thing with post weight loss surgery vitamin supplementation, putting your vites into something you already do - drinking water.  It makes it easier for early post ops and those who might defer the whole chewing or swallowing of vitamins because they're "icky."

Have you run out of these?

Time to stock up.  ;)

Time to stock up.  ;)

Your garden overflowing? Zucchini Ricotta Cheesecake

I don't have a garden, but if I did, it's zucchini time, and I would be making this RIGHT NOW. *drool*

Zucchini Ricotta Cheesecake from 101 Cookbooks

To shred the zucchini use a box grater - most micro planes are too fine, you want shredded zucchini, not mush. Feel free to play around with the "add-in" ingredients - for example, use whatever chopped herbs you like. I had dill on hand, and I like how it tastes with summer squash, so dill it was. I suspect anything from chopped olives, sun-dried tomatoes, or chives, to spices, chopped spinach, or corn could work here. Also, when I have the time and inclination I'll drain the ricotta through cheesecloth to get even more moisture out of the cake, but to be honest, most times I won't bother. Lastly, I use a springform pan here, but you could use an equivalent baking dish or deep tart pan as well.

2 cups zucchini, unpeeled & grated
1 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
2 1/2 cups ricotta cheese
1/2 cup freshly shredded Parmesan cheese
2 shallots, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/4 cup fresh dill, chopped
zest of one lemon
2 large eggs, well beaten
1/3 cup goat cheese, crumbled
drizzle of olive oil

Preheat oven to 325F degrees, racks the middle. Butter/oil a 7-inch springform pan.

In a strainer, toss the shredded zucchini with the salt and let sit for ten minutes. Now aggressively squeeze and press out as much moisture as you can. Set aside.

In the meantime, combine the ricotta cheese, Parmesan cheese, shallots, garlic, dill and lemon zest in a medium bowl. Stir in the eggs and continue mixing until well combined. Now stir in the shredded zucchini. Fill the springform pan with the ricotta mixture and place on a baking sheet. Place in the oven and bake for sixty minutes. If there is any moisture left on top of the cake at this point, carefully use a bit of paper towel to dab it off. Now sprinkle with the goat cheese and return to the oven for another 20 -30 minutes or until the goat cheese is melted and the cake barely jiggles in the center (it will set up more as it cools).

At this point, if the cake is baked and set, but the top isn't quite golden, I'll zap it with the broiler (just about a minute) to get a bit more color on top. Remove from the oven and let cool five minutes, then release the cake from its pan. Cool completely, serve at room temperature drizzled with a bit of olive oil and a few sprigs of dill.

Serves 8.

101 Cookbooks http://www.101cookbooks.com/

Oh Yeah.

For those of you who donated to The Walk From Obesity for a case of OhYeah! Ready To Drink shakes, the cases were shipping out this week - keep an eye out! 

Thank you ISS Research for this generous giveaway!  ISS Research provides a plethora of protein packed products that we as WLS'ers can use and ENJOY, say that again.  Try some.

In which I charge into battle for my choice...

Last season’s cliffhanger ended where my husband challenged me to explain exactly and in detail why I wanted the Duodenal Switch and not the other surgeries available to me.  All I can say is that I was very glad that I’d had all that time to prepare for this argument and that I’d spent all of those lunchtimes eating with my colleague, H.  I’d printed out a list of studies for him and was ready to present the data.

If I take a Mega-Man Vitamin:

Will I become a Mega-Man?  Or at least a Mega-Girl? 

I cleaned out my cabinet of expired supplements and ones I cannot won't take, and I found a box of GNC Mega-Men Vita-Paks that Mr. got a few months ago and obviously quit taking them. 

(The Vita-Pak is a superific idea, I would <3 a Bari-pak!  Or, WLS-Pak, or...or...) 

And, just FYI if I start sprouting muscles and a deep voice, I took the multivites from a pack this am.  JESUS!  I DO NOT SUGGEST THESE FOR ANY WLS'ER.  They are freaking HUGE.  I had to force them down.  Here's to hoping that my non-acidic pouch dissolves them a bit so I don't die an additional intestinal death like yesterday.

Can't hurt to try - because - I haven't had any vitamins in days.  I ran out of the ones I was actually taking, Celebrate, then I ran out of samples of Bariatric Fusion and Building Blocks, and now I've got a bottle of Shaklee Vita-Lea (SPEWGACKSPEW!), Mega-Man Vita-Paks, and I am sure there's more if I keep digging, but... for now I'm a MEGA MAN!  RAWR!

This kind is cute, though. 

Yes, I know I need to stock up.  Tell that to my &%$%#^% bank.  Overdrawn by like, two cents, and I got fees up the butt.  Living sans credit cards sucks.

Moms go apeshit over the Ice Cream Man. Are you kidding me?

We've become too sensitive.  This is ridiculous.  Coming from a parent of four, all of whom would love an ice cream any given moment.

Why can't you tell the kid NO? 

NYT:

Vicki Sell, mother of 3-year-old Katherine, tenses when the vendor starts ringing his little bell, over and over, hoping her daughter doesn’t have the typical Pavlovian response.

Ever since Katherine had an inconsolable meltdown about not being able to have a treat, Ms. Sell has been trying to have unlicensed vendors ousted from the park. She has repeatedly called the city’s 311 complaint hot line, joining parents nationwide who can’t stand the icy man or his motorized big brother, the ice cream man.

“I fall into the camp of parents who are irate,” Ms. Sell said. She has equal disdain for Mister Softee and the ice cream pop vendor outside the park, but since they are licensed, there is not much she can do about them.

“I feel kind of bad about having developed this attitude,” she said. “I want Katherine to have the full childhood experience and all. But it’s really predatory for them — two of them — to be right inside the playground like this.”

The View's Sherri Shepherd "How I Lost 41 Lbs. Without Surgery!"

Again, another ridiculous magazine article title.  Who the in the world would lose 41 lbs. WITH surgery?  Neither do I think she's a size six, aside from weight circumference, but who cares.

She looks GOOD.  How did she do it?  She followed a diet-delivery plan from The Fresh Diet and worked out with a trainer.

Insert your comment here that "If I could afford $1500 a month in diet food, and a personal trainer, I'd lose weight too!" because I know it's coming.

We do what we can, right?  In the end - we're fighting the same fight, regardless of money spent.

I know better.

I should know better than to eat a raw spring roll on top of a migraine.  I felt sick as it was, but add head pain and stomach/gut pain together - UGH.  I cannot eat raw carrots and other such veggies - I am usually fine with the wrapper, made of wheat dough, but sometimes it kills me.

Now, I am bent over in pain along with a throbbing head.  I've got two Excedrin Migraine in, two Tums and two Gas-X.  I may need a plunger soon.

It feels like someone is trying to pull my intestines up through my throat along with my brains trying to escape via my eye sockets.  It's about time for fetal position on the couch.  Damn it.

Wildberry Passion Drink Mix

YUM.  I'm so making popsicles with this. 

I mixed one packet of the Wildberry Passion Protein Drink mix with 8 ounces of cold water in my blender bottle and shook.  It mixes into a nice hot pink drink that sort of takes me back to my Kool-Aid days circa 1984. Vaguely Hawaiian Punchy!  Or - dare I say it - Jello.
 

(You may know this if you're a long time reader -- or my mother -- I used to sip diluted J-e-l-l-o as a drink when I was pregnant -- it was one of those never fail things that worked for me, I had serious stomach issues during each pregnancy.)

It's super sweet and fruity, but light enough as a clear protein mix that it doesn't leave you with any protein-y dry mouth feel or aftertaste.

Focus28 says:

"Delicious and Cold! Quench your thirst for a sweetened drink without the sugar and extra calories. Focus 28 drink mixes are sugar-free, high in protein and provide the light, refreshing taste of summer in any season. Specially designed bariatric protein fruit drinks make bariatric weight loss easier. They taste great as frozen Popsicles too."

Ah-ha.  They say popsicles too.  I swear I did not read that until just now.  But, now I have a query - could one make Jello with this?  Would it work?  Anyone ever try that?  Protein Jello Shots? 

Kidding about that last part.  Mostly. 

This product is clearly suitable for immediately post weight loss surgery, since it can be mixed in as little as six ounces of water and provide 15 grams of protein.  In later stages, it can be used as an anytime protein supplement or snack -- or added to another drink -- think Crystal Light!  Yum.

I likes it, a lot.

• Product - Wildberry Passion Drink Mix
• Via - F28
• Price - $9.99
• Pros - Clear protein supplement, tastes like being six years old again, easy to drink, easy to take with you, mixes simply, no chunks, no after taste or mouth feel.
• Cons - I want more.
• *Lots of flavors available: https://www.focus28wellness.com/food-and-diet-products/bariatric-foods/cold-drinks/
• Rating - Pouchworthy, ^MM.