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A post filled with good news and a STFU.


Last night I took my entrance exams for college. (I will explain at a later date.)  I was not pleased to do this, in fact I was supposed to get it done in a 48 hour window prior to leaving for California, but I procrastinated and packed and, didn't.

I scored a motherf*cking 90% on the MATH, kids. MATH.  Beth cannot recall MULTIPLICATION TABLES.  I was in remedial math by the 5th grade.  Go me.  It has to be the grocery cart estimating mad skillz I has.

But, due to a "picture of Brad Pitt riding a horse through my office," and a misplaced "modifier," I got a 78% on the English portion.  I had NO IDEA that wording the sentence that way made it LITERAL, and funny as hell.

Maybe English IS my second language.  I do NOT know the parts of a sentence.  I am lucky to string along words that anyone can understand.  Add in the million milligrams or 11 pills of Dopey-max and Dilantin, I am lucky I can speak anything other than pig latin.  I mean that, I can barely get fill in my name and address on an online form, so please do not ask me the parts of a sentence.


I weighed myself.  After a weekend in California.  After libations, including one $50 bottle'o'wine split with mah girl Suz.  After bacon.  After prosciutto.  After cheese.  After eggs.  After half a rare burger with bacon and four french fries. After the BIGGEST piece of stick jerky YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.  After half a cupcake, from this cool veggie joint.  ;) 

(Wasn't it DELICIOUS?  DO I have ONE REGRET?  ASK ME.  Did I get sick ONCE?  Did my blood sugar tank ONCE?)

1-7-1 pounds.  I will take it.  Last time I got on the scale it was 174-176, so it's all good, and down from my regain to 189 lbs a couple months ago when I was in that Diabetes magazine article.

Considering that I am the "Dorito/Donut/Doubledown Eating WLS Failure?" who will (shocking!) "never be" considered a real blogger and will never be taken seriously because she swears and eats poorly and is a BAD EXAMPLE? 




I am doing alright.

PS.  The conference wrap up post is coming, I just had to get this outta the way.

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