I am not helpful.

nataliedee.com

By now I am sure you are aware of the newly created (or finally named and put in a spot) Bariatric Bad Girls Club that I started on Facebook.  It's basically an offshoot of this blog, or at least I felt that way.  Another outlet that didn't have my big stupid pinkness on it.

This comment was posted last night and I missed it until just now:

"..why people would join the BBGC, because they don't "help" people?"

All of a sudden this Facebook group is a big organization or something?  The BBGC who?  The BBGC what?  

I've had this group page online for what, a week and a half?  And, we are supposed to be doing what?  

The <fingerquote> goal </fingerquote> of branching out into a group was to form a community of sorts -- for openly discussing and dispersing information about our shared experiences in a way that is free from bitching, whining, banning, Creative Editing or worse.  

You see, I have a special relationship with WLS message board forums.  I have had two very distinct situations that went awry in the WLS community.  

One -- with a Board Moderator Gone Wild -- who banned me from a big WLS site for linking to my personal blog back in 2007. She stated that I was not allowed to link - because - my message was "anti WLS," and that I was breaking the TOS of their site.  O-o  This did not end well.   

The second -- where I was bashed on another WLS community board (and further by phone, etc.) -- and I was banned after a single post to defend myself.  That situation was the trigger to the formation OF the Bariatric Bad Girls Club -- because OBVIOUSLY I DO NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS -- and I should probably make my own sandbox.

While many community forums are lovely -- I found that many of you don't share -- because you are SCARED to.  (Hello?  HAVE YOU READ WEIGHTY SECRETS?  THOSE ARE YOUR SECRETS.  YOU HAVE THEM.  YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF.  BECAUSE?  YOU ARE SCARED.) 

 I thought that starting with a simple Facebook Group might be one of the easiest ways to foster community.  (It is, at the moment.)  

I received thank-you's for doing this.  Doing what?  Clicking a button.  All of a sudden you feel like it's OKAY to finally talk about X, Y, and Z, because you know what?  

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Guess what -- someone else just ate that/did that/felt that, too!

But, that's not helpful?  Why is it that every time honesty comes out -- people run the other way?

Tell me.  What is "helpful?"  What does your online community do to HELP YOU?  Do you feel free to post ANYTHING you have a question about on your forum without fear of shame, guilt, or worse?  Do you want to be told what to do?  Do you want rules?  Do you want to be hand-slapped? 

Go on, tell me.  I'll wait here, Not Helping, like I have been, since 2005.