Clear as crystal.

I just read an article titled, " Weight Regain, How Can This Be, I Had The Surgery!"

[PDF]

• Weight Regain? How could this be?! I had the surgery!

Oh, honey, it CAN.

And?  It USUALLY DOES! *Disclaimer for the sparkly bunch -- I'm not here to piss on your rose garden, it just happens.  I wish someone TOLD ME!  I had NO idea so many people regained, struggled, and fought these demons SO hard!

I laughed a little, and then thought back to my own early post op days when I swore that it would "never happen to me," that "I would be THE ONE THAT WOULD BEAT THE ODDS!"

I would reach 100% excess weight loss, because the surgery would give me the power to do it!  I would be in ONEDERLAND in no time at all, and even though the surgeon suggested that a loss of 70% was normal, and that I would land in a somewhat pudgy place in several years, I WOULD DO MORE.

MY POUNDS, would be GONE FOREVER.  Snort.

I would be the Super Loss Girl!  100%!   I will show him!

Yeah.  Sure.  Uh-huh.

(My approximate weights since the birth of baby #4. 210 while with fetus - to 150 - to an ungodly regain again to - 150 again - to 170 at present.)

What I did not realize is that the gastric bypass was A FREE PASS for a year of absolutely NO WORK on my part.  (*Disclaimer:  No, it's NOT EASY, it's physically awful, however, the weight loss happens automatically if you even loosely follow guidelines.)

My weight loss came to a SCREEEEECHING halt early on.  I lost nearly all of my excess weight within a year and then ...

BOOM.

Life happened.  A baby?  Yes.  A baby.  Short version:  miscarriage + pregnant + side effects of pregnancy + issues from gastric bypass = weight gain.  I went from my lowest weight of 149 lbs. to a high weight of 210 lbs. at 38 weeks gestation.  Good times!

Sure, after baby, I dropped the weight, and it was about 1,000,000% harder than the initial loss with the gastric bypass.

But.

BOOM.

Life happened again.  My brain broke. Short version:  Neurological symptoms that started during the pregnancy amplified + turned into epilepsy = weight gain.

I lost some of that weight with the addition of a brain-numbing-psycho-bitch inducing-drug, Topamax.  At a certain point, I had HAD IT with the side effects of the drug and stopped taking it, which caused instant regain.  *thumbsup*

Since my seizures were not well-controlled with a single medication, I was prescribed two.  Again with the Topamax.  The side effects are back, which include:  psycho-bitch, numbness, tingling, brain numbness, loss of words, stupidity, and general malaise and nap time for MM.  (However, the balance of NOT seizing?  It's a toss up.)  At this point, I am simply maintaining, and trending downward with adding exercise in slowly.

I guess my point is  -- regain is real.

It happens.  There can be a trigger.  There can be a cause.  Physical or otherwise, it's not always simply a stack of Ritz Crackers, although... if crackers are your crack?

You can lose it again.  And?  It's not a big deal.  You are NOT a failure by any stretch of the imagination.

10 -  20 - 30 - 40 - 50 pounds?  Really?  Did you not gain 100-200 excess pounds before?  Did you not expect that it might creep back into your life?  History repeats itself.  Chronic dieters, yo-yo dieters, we do this!

I am simply disgusted by the suggestion that those of us who "regain" are "failures" and clearly have no self-control.

Or -- that we are bitter, angry, miserable bitches.  (Well, we can discuss that last part, but I am telling you, this medicine is really making me, "special.")

I'm not bitter or angry, my WLS "worked."  I lost the weight, and that was what it was intended to do.  I struggle, just like most of you do, and not as hard as some of my friends out there.  I'm a "lazy" post op.

Even with everything I deal with, a lot of this came easily to me.  I mean that.  I see how hard some of you struggle and it makes me realize just HOW EASY I have it -- even with my broken head.

I do, however, get angry/motivated when "you" point a finger.

When you suggest that we are "failures," or worse, singling someone else out there who is busting their ASS just trying to get through another day, when you've CLEARLY had an issue maintaining your own <bullshit> 135 pounds. </bullshit>

This is where I'm supposed to insert a little WLS Kum Ba Yah and suggest that we all support each other.  Well,  YOU TOO, start doing it.

PS.  If I ever land myself in a book about WLS -- my fat ass will not be on the cover -- unless it's one of those moving pictures you see on a bookmark.  (Which of course, I can only find in kittens and vampires.)