Thanksgiving Turkey Brain.

I had a conversation with my mother about Thanksgiving: the meal, the excess, the waste, and... Why Not Just Go OUT? 

We decided "Yes."  Dinner, this year, is OUT.  Every other year, we cook too much, eat too much, waste too much and whine too much about all of it.  Not just US, but so many get sucked in, to... Too. Much.  Who needs it?  Why should the day supposedly about THANKS become a stressful occasion?

It starts with the stress of a high grocery bill, "OMG! 20 pounds of turkey!" Or "Free-range, organic farm raised, non-hormone injected, hormonally balanced, non-angry bird?"  Forget about it. 

And, then you're inviting guests and freaking out! 

Stop. the.  <Susan Powter> Insanity.

Eat a freaking sandwich.

And this is where I realize I'm done.  This is where I realized "my surgery, my TOOL, my wonderful gift" worked.  (Please note my facetiousness.)  The food, it just doesn't matter.  I'm not thinking about it.  Okay.  Maybe it's the Topamax.  But.  The food?  It just does. not. matter.  It's not in my head to WORRY about WHAT WE ARE GOING TO EAT!

I made fun of my mother, for her first trying to choose a restaurant. 

Should it be THIS, THAT, the OTHER?  Then the PLATED MEAL or the BUFFET?  But, you don't really eat that much?  But, they have this on this menu, and that on that menu, and this would be nice. 

She couldn't decide.  I told her that I did not care, food didn't matter, I would find something edible anywhere.  Chinese? 

She called back.  She found recipes.  Perhaps we'd just cook.  Maybe it's just as well to cook.

No.  We. are. going. out.

Fine, then.  She called and made the reservations, and it's official.  We will EAT a buffet meal, stress none, waste much, and pay less overall.   Except? 

She's still cooking a meal for home.  "We have to have it anyway." 

I sort of get it.  The smells, the leftovers, I do love my turkey sandwiches.  But, do you HAVE TO?

And, then I noticed, on my fridge?  A receipt for a full precooked turkey dinner for delivery the night before Thanksgiving.  Super.

Y'all a bunch of TURKEYS.

(Because, "He HAS to have it.")