SHAME: IT JUST *NEVER* WORKS

via divatauniablog.com

Agreed. I am sharing Taunia's thoughts, because I agree. Shameful.

So I wait.

I knew I would get use out of this tee shirt.  

I'm at the hotel across the street from the hospital, as I just finished my pre-op labs, EKG and Chest XRAY.  I am staying here tonight for surgery tomorrow, since we live an hour away and getting here two days in a row with kids/school/buses/work is very difficult.  Parking alone tops $40, so it's not really a big deal., I'm bored.  I can't really "enjoy" the quiet time because I have pain, you know?  

My first thought -- honest to dog -- "I should go get my nails painted."  I haven't had a manicure since November. When I am kid-free, I tend to hit the salon first thing.  It's such a rare occasion.  But, the conceirge said fifteen minute walk, in the freezing rain in Chinatown, and broken gut said nothankyou.  

So here I is.  Laying in the Doubletree bed, wondering where in the hell the Kardashian's came from, and why don't they work and how are they so stinking wealthy?  And, now they're fighting on TV.    Ugh.

Anyway.  Until later.

 

It's a start.

I have seizures every few days -- sometimes as often as two in a day for a couple days -- and sometimes not for weeks at a time.  I haveyetto get a seizure on video or EEG.  With that in mind, I've told the kids and Mr. MM to use their camera phones and go ahead and RECORD episodes if they CAN CATCH THEM.

 Mr. caught one this morning, but missed the first half.  I was repeating myself, asking for glucose, rocking, lip-smacking and completely out of it.  I have no memory of this incident, until the finger stick part.

This was a temporal lobe seizure.

An unusual sensation or emotion, known as an aura, may precede a temporal lobe seizure, acting as a warning. Not everyone who has temporal lobe seizures experiences auras, and those who do have auras may not remember them. The aura is actually a small seizure itself — one that has not spread into an observable seizure that impairs consciousness and ability to respond. Examples of auras include:

• A sudden sense of unprovoked fear
• A deja vu experience
• The sudden occurrence of a strange odor or taste
• A rising sensation in the abdomen

People who have temporal lobe seizures usually remain partially conscious during a seizure, but they lose awareness of their surroundings and usually don't remember what happened.

A temporal lobe seizure usually lasts 30 seconds to two minutes. Characteristic signs and symptoms of temporal lobe seizures include:

• Loss of awareness of surroundings
• Staring
• Lip smacking
• Repeated swallowing or chewing
• Unusual finger movements, such as picking motions

After a temporal lobe seizure, you may have:

• A brief period of confusion and difficulty speaking
• Inability to recall the events that occurred during the seizure
• Unawareness of having had a seizure until someone else tells you

In extreme cases, what starts as a temporal lobe seizure evolves into a grand mal (tonic-clonic) seizure — featuring convulsions and a loss of consciousness. About half of people with temporal lobe seizures never experience a grand mal seizure.

 

 

Shameless Lush and Whore!

"Like" Melting Mama on Facebook.  Facebook has made us all shameless "like" whores.  Let's have fun!

When the page reaches 1K "likes" again, I will giveaway a GIFT FROM LUSH!  (This is the second re-incarnation of my page.)

Glozell, please 'splain why Dawson has the Ke$ha Unicorns?

Glozell? You're going to have to translate this one. It's got BBGC all over it. And, Dawson, and unicorns...

MM likes bewbies.

I have nots.

No, really.  

I have the Have Nots.  

I LOVE THIS PRODUCT.  It squeezes and holds and accentuates me in the right places.  I wear it every single time I have to Be Of Someplace Of Importance.  I think today is the day to get a few more, I am in need of more Accentuation.  The last time I took a photo in my Slimpressions, I was 10 lbs heavier, but DAMN they work!

 

Waiting game.

It's Thursday, 5pm, on the 24th, and the surgeon's office just called me back.

"Hey!  Dr. So and So, I have No Idea Who You Are!"

LOVE. IT. Miracle WHIP!

I HATE MIRACLE WHIP.

Miracle Whip Tastes Like Disappointment. Spreadable Disappointment.

But, I LOVE THE ADS.  They are freakin' awesome.

Thanks, AdFreak.

Isopure Smoothie Orange Peach

Is a protein drink a ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak world?  

Sort of.  

It is February, it is freezing, I have a broken belly and I'm venturing into the world of liquid proteins for sustenance.  I remembered THIS product in my fridge.

This isn't a fair review.

I will disclose that right up front.  This is not a paid review.  I don't play that way.  However. I'm not totally entirely one hundred percent against it anymore.   (Hello, increasing medical bills?)

I'm already in love with this product.    

I've been sipping it for months.  In fact, I went into a local nutrition store and asked for it before they knew what it was.

Oops.

Well, what is it?  It's bottled sunshine, whey protein and love, of course.  

But, I will tell you WHY I love it so much.  

Check this out:

Squint.  Read the ingredients.  Filtered water, whey protein isolate, peach puree concentrate, orange juice concentrate, phosphoric acid, non-dairy creamer, sodium caseinate, mono- and diglycerides, milled flaxseed, pectin, flavors, malic acid, cellulose gum, fish oil and sucralose.

Whey protein isolate is THE best protein choice for post weight loss surgery patients.  32 grams of protein in one 16 ounce bottle.   Super.

Fruit puree, further sweetened by sucralose, some milled flaxseed and fish oil for the brain and digestion with omega 3's.  Awesome.

Yeah, so that means it has "The Sugar" but you know what, it's fruit sugar.  

Entirely fruit based sugar.  If you eat fruit, this is about the equivalent to one small peach.

  

But, how does it taste?  No, really?  Beth, don't lie.

 

The Isopure Smoothie smells vaguely citrusy, slightly peachy, there isn't much smell to it at all.  

The texture is THIN.  It's a light opaque shake, not viscous at all.  There are no lumps, bumps or chunks.  It is totally smooth and thin.  

 


It's almost more juicy than it is protein-y if that makes sense.  Many protein shakes have a thickness to them, and a mouthfeel, this does not.  

It does not leave ANY residue on my tongue and no aftertaste.  While Isopure calls it a "yogurt-like" flavor.  I differ.  I hate yogurt.  There's no "tang" to this shake, no yogurt flavor.  I would venture to guess that they meant more in texture?  I don't know, but it's not at all yogurty.  Which for me, is a good thing.  For you? 

I love this product.  I actually love the next flavor, more.  Stay tuned.

 

• Product - Isopure Smoothie - Orange Peach 
• Via - Gastric Bypass Supplements under Nature's Best
• Price - $39.95 - case  $3.32 - each in case price - GOOD DEAL - elsewhere seen at $4.99 EACH.
• Pros - 32 grams of whey protein isolate in a ready to drink,  sweetened with fruit and sucralose, good healthy fats in flax and oils added, absolutely delicious
• Cons - 16 carbs, which for a new post op might be too much at the beginning.  Drink half.
• Rating - Freaking Pouchworthy, ^MM

 

How many calories do I NEED?

How many calories do I NEED?

Advertising Lessons from Britney Spears Hold It Against Me!

The original -

Dark Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes.

 
"Dark Chocolate. Bacon. What's not to love?"  

Wait, what?  There's COFFEE IN THE RECIPE.  This is the holy motherfucking triad of MM LOVE FOODS.  

DARK CHOCOLATE, BACON AND COFFEE, FTW!

(Now, to be honest, there's no way I am eating this combination of ingredients, right now in my current state of "Broken-not-broken-taking-votes-for-a-more-positive-spin-on-this-word-and-idea-of-long-term-post operative-complications-and-issues -TM") but I will think about dark chocolate cuppycakes and save it for later.  

When I am 100%, I'd hit three bites of this in a heartbeat.

"Oh hell naw she diint post this recipe?"  She did.  Shuddup.    

Allrecipes -

INGREDIENTS:

DIRECTIONS:

12 slices bacon 2 cups all-purpose flour 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 2 cups white sugar 2 teaspoons baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon sea salt 2 eggs 1 cup cold, strong, brewed coffee 1 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder, for dusting

1.	Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium-high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside.
2.	In a large bowl, stir together the flour, 3/4 cup cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make a well in the center and pour in the eggs, coffee, buttermilk and oil. Stir just until blended. Mix in 3/4 of the bacon, reserving the rest for garnish. Spoon the batter into the prepared cups, dividing evenly.
3.	Bake in the preheated oven until the tops spring back when lightly pressed, 20 to 25 minutes. Cool in the pan set over a wire rack. When cool, arrange the cupcakes on a serving platter. Frost with your favorite chocolate frosting and sprinkle reserved bacon crumbles on top. Dust with additional cocoa powder.

FAVORITE BARS EVER - Proti Wafers - Proti Thin Cookies - Like a sugar wafer, only better!

 

I have a date.

I have a date with a surgeon.

Justin Bieber Haircut

I can't win. Justin Bieber cuts his hair like me, just as I start to grow it out to look like him.

Gastric Bypass better than band, study says.

In a recent study, bypassed diabetics lost 64% of excess weight in a year, banded diabetics lost 36% excess weight in a year.  Complication rates were nearly the same. 

PS. I searched "Lap Band" for an image to share in this post, but I found my own images in used in posts about the "lap band."   That's ironic.  I don't have a band, but my fat-pants pictures are selling bands!  Woo!  Look!  That's my ass!)

What would you choose?   Me?  Neither.  Today.  Ask me again in a few weeks.

Shocking! Celebrity Weight Changes

I must admit, I just clicked over to this piece at Health.com and I wasn't really effected by the before and and afters, probably because I've seen them all,  they are all non-news.  Old news.  

Dear Medical Center -

I know it's a holiday, but bodies don't go on holiday.  

My LLQ and mid-chest- "pancreas" -- still hurts.  Is this a surprise, no.  But I don't have anything to do than to sit with the pain and stabbing and now?  

Not sleeping.  

I waited Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and yesterday, in anticipation of a phone call today, to let me know when we could schedule the poking of my belly to see if I am rotting internally.  I want to fix what's wrong, if I knew what it was I would!  

Give me a coat-hanger, and one of those Amazon surgical kits, and I might try, you know, if I get desperate.  In through the belly-button with a spy-kit camera, find what's wrong, and rip it out?  We could do this?  

Let's start that BBGC Inpatient Unit.  There are too many of us sick right now.  

Anyone want to front the cash?  I'll advertise the shit out of it.  Fix me - I'll love you forever.  I think I offered this for my brain as well.   Guts and brain.  All for sale.

 

Serene Branson's Live "Atypical Migraine," Welcome to my brain.

This reporters' "episode" is a lot like my seizures.

I have episodes no unlike this, every few days.

My first diagnosis was "atypical migraine."    

I now have - without any documentation on EEG -

• Intractable epilepsy: A form of epilepsy that does not improve (fewer or less severe seizures) with medication. Surgery may be the next recommended course of treatment to improve the patient's condition.

OAC - Weight-loss Surgery, Nutrition and Hair Loss

Weight-loss Surgery, Nutrition and Hair Loss via OAC
by Jacqueline Jacques, ND

To view a PDF version of this article, click here.

Typically, about 90 percent of hairs are anagen (in a growth phase) and 10 percent are telogen (in a dormant or resting phase) at any given time, meaning you are usually losing a lot less hair than you are growing so you don’t have noticeable hair loss. But sometimes this can change.