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Divorce After Weight Loss Surgery

I have a favorite quote that I used to throw out there all the time, by one of my not-so-favorite TV personalities: 

"You can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life issues."

Dr.Phil

I love it because it's true.  Weight loss solves nothing about your life, aside from physical ailments. You can't expect losing weight to help you "fix" anything about yourself.  Many people have weight loss surgery thinking that "if I just lose XXX lbs, I'd be/my spouse would be/my job would be... perfect."

No.  It doesn't work that way.  Ask anyone who has already been through massive weight loss.

And, according to Dr. Connie Stapleton's video, "No matter where you go - there you are."    Again, truth.  You cannot run away from yourself.  Losing hundreds of pounds doesn't solve anything if you are still dealing with your original issues that helped created your obesity.

Your issues follow you, like a damn shadow, don't they?

4112r4RSEbL._SL500_AA300_ I was watching BTV this morning - and they mentioned the divorce statistics for weight loss surgery patients.

Are you surprised?

80-85% of WLS patients who were obese prior to or at the time of their marriage -- break up within two years.

Shocking to you?  

Meh.  Not...really.

Consider what issues you were dealing with -- at that the time -- that might have changed SINCE losing weight.  

Did you become a different person?  

Did losing weight bring your issues to the surface -- or your spouses?  

ARE YOU NODDING LIKE CRAZY?  (I see a few of you who are jumping up and down and throwing things.)  Yes. it. did. does. don't do it.  Take care of issues before they get too big to handle.

If these things aren't dealt with, they fester and implode.  

(This is where I put in a plug, "HAVE YOU READ WEIGHTY SECRETS?")

 

Counseling Bariatric Surgery Patients - By Dan Orzech - Social Work Today Vol. 5 No. 6 P. 24

The divorce rate after weight-loss surgery is extremely high, according to Pilcher. So is the rate of job change.

That’s not always a bad thing. Morbidly obese people, subject to a lifetime of discrimination, often come to feel helpless and accept situations others would not, says Pilcher.

“Many patients, through the weight loss, become empowered to get themselves out of situations—work or marriage—that were bad,” he says.

Not everyone is affected in the same way, however.

“If a patient in a long-term marriage was a normal weight when the marriage began,” Pilcher says, “that marriage is probably in pretty good shape to withstand the changes following surgery.

If the patient was heavy at the time the marriage or the relationship began, however, there’s an 80% to 85% chance that that relationship is going to break up within two years of surgery.

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