Reposting an old post...
To stand still on the summit of perfection is difficult, and in the natural course of things, what cannot go forward - slips back. Gaius V. Paterculus
I bought my husband a book yesterday (totally different post) and another book that I plan to read and utilize within the blog. Both, topics I have yet to delve into. Not. diet. books. PS. I am not a professional. Do not take advice from the internet. I blog because I can. That is all.
I have a new more obvious aim. I want to discuss and challenge my peers to discuss the realistic "life after weight loss surgery," beyond the protein shakes, beyond numbers and reaching a weight goal.
- Happiness does not depend on the size or content of a goal, but on the strength of the desire to have it. Simon Soloveychik
Not just the "weighty secrets," but the stuff that should be discussed ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY OUT LOUD IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
This is the place where I am finding people drop off of the face of the earth, quit, regain, and simply remove themselves from being a success or ever reaching that spot. People aren't getting what they need, or what they expected after WLS, and give up. People don't post about these important issues, it's usually What I Ate Today Are You Proud Of Me? and WHERE IS MY HAIR!
It's obvious that more needs to be done for the care and feeding of the post bariatric brain. Our brains seem to be quite disordered, and focusing on details instead of the big, long term picture. We seem to obsess over The Numbers and Looking Amazing! and forgetting that we need to be healthy overall.
Did you have weight loss surgery to Look Amazing? To BE amazing? To completely change everything about you and become a bionic woman?
Honestly, you may have. It's okay to admit it.
I can't say that I had surgery to CURE a damn thing. I was not a physically sick obese individual. Removing co-morbidities from the equation, and it would seem to the outside world, that I had surgery to Look Good. <shrug>
But, more often than not, people do not choose life-altering surgery to Look Amazing*.
*And, if they are, they should BE THROWN OUT OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PRE OP TESTING, or at least slapped around until they get a reality check.
More often than not, Results May Vary.
What a let down it must be, to go through this process with lofty expectations to be left with EXCESS SKIN! BREASTS THAT HANG LIKE TEABAGS AND TUBESOCKS, to be STILL OBESE after losing hundreds of pounds, or to be left with COMPLICATIONS, PROBLEMS, and then BAD-A-BING you are regaining! "OMG I FEEL SO BAD, WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF"... and ... all you asked for?
Was to Look Amazing.
I get flack for saying things like this, because to some in the community, it's "so negative." But, it's not.
- It's about feeling good about what you DO HAVE!
- Being happy about what you CAN accomplish!
- What you HAVE done!
- And what you MAY do in the future.
Becoming an image of post WLS perfection is not necessary. You are perfect already. You need only get healthier.
Setting unrealistic goals for yourself and finding that you cannot reach those goals is a tried and true route to failure. Ask anyone who has already dieted themselves back to pre-op weight.
Yeah, I'd love to do a IRONMAN/marathon/jogwalk a 5k....someday. But, am I getting myself all worked up because my peers might have tried and succeeded at it (GO THEM! THEY ROCK!) -- and NOT ME? NO! (Heh, read this, my laziness is hereby CONFIRMED! SCREW THE TREADMILL!)
Everyone has a different level of success -- and amazing-ness -- and maybe for YOU?
- GETTING THE MAIL IS AMAZING ENOUGH RIGHT NOW.
- Walking the dog.
- Cleaning your house.
- Doing your laundry.
- Not falling into a bag of Cheez-its!
- Remaining upright and not peeing yourself in a seizure today!
- (Okay, that one was mine.)
- EACH LITTLE THING IS AMAZING.
You do not NEED the perfect body, the perfect food, or the perfect exercise. You didn't have any of that prior to your surgery, nor the perfect family, life, or job, before -- why must it happen RIGHT THIS MOMENT? Do you realize how much stress you could simply GIVE AWAY if you let go of some of the ideals that you THINK you HAVE TO HAVE?
Weight loss surgery does not change anything about you, except the physical route of food in your digestive system. For some reason, when folks have a bypass, they "become" someone else... someone new. Some say it's a "rebirth." Sometimes this new person is super. She's... motivated, pleasant, and successful. But, not always.
WLS does NOT fix your brain, (and your brain is marinated in FAT) it merely unearths what was a bit sideways inside you and brings it to the surface at some point. It could be at six months post op or ten years post op. You will wear it, and no amount of obsessive carb counting or plastic surgery will remove it.
WLS does not make you amazing. You make you amazing. Think about it.
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Because you're amazing, just the way you are