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Stiff Panties Burn Calories. Well. There's that, Santa!

Geekologie says --

$32 Calorie Shapers are resin-coated biker-shorts/sparkle-panties that are stiffer than regular boxer-briefs and, when walked in 1.5-hours a day per week, can burn enough additional calories to offset 16-ounces of beer. WELL WOOPTIE-F***IN'-DO-DA. I'd rather just convince myself I never drank that beer. Besides, who in their right mind wants to walk around IN A PAIR OF HARD UNDERWEAR? Aaaaaaaah, my nuts are saying silk but my belly's saying STIFF ABRASIVE POLYMER AND ENOUGH FRICTION TO START A FIRE.

I am NOT wearing anybody's stiff panties.

No.

No.

Never.

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