I wonder sometimes...

I wonder sometimes, if you're all just f-cking with me.  I know I have said it many times before.  

But, if someone else did not explain to me that I actually have seizures, I might never know.  

Sure I'd be confused as to why things get messed up in the space around me, pocketbooks get mussed up, drinks get spilled, I end up seated when I WAS standing... but I might never know.  Certainly the post seizure side effects might concern me enough to question my health, because nobody should feel tired or confused in a normal morning, but you could fool me.  

This is to say that today is a seizure day.  I started tracking these events on Facebook via the Timeline Feature so I could tag someone else to be accountable to the timing of events.  Today marks seven days since the LAST seizure day, which was after five days since the one before it.  It's not exactly predictable.

Today, ironically I was standing in a medical doctor's office.  (I'm known for this.  My first documented seizure was IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.)  I was discussing the condition of my child's skin, as she's been dealing with a severe case of eczema, when ...

POOF BETH IS LONG GONE FROM THIS CONVERSATION.  Somewhere in la la seizure land thinking that I need glucose or a roast beef sandwich, which was my breakfast...

During these complex partial seizure events I am typically unresponsive or responding in bizarre ways.  I was apparently in my usual swaying stance (if I seize while standing) and began repeating the usual "I need sugar" statements.  The doctor immediately assumed, as ANYONE WOULD unless they happened to be a neurologist -- that I was having a hypoglycemic event.

But it wasn't, because although I DO HAVE hypoglycemic events, they do not connect with my seizures.

"During a complex partial seizure, a person cannot interact normally with other people."

Complex partial seizures affect a larger area of the brain than simple partial seizures and they affect consciousness.

During a complex partial seizure, a person cannot interact normally with other people, is not in control of his or her movements, speech or actions; doesn't know what he or she is doing; and cannot remember afterwards what happened during the seizure.

Although someone may appear to be conscious because he or she remains standing with their eyes open and moving about, it will be an altered consciousness—a dreamlike, almost trancelike state.  Often accompanied by movements called automatisms. These may include chewing movements of the mouth, picking at clothes or fumbling.

A person may even be able to speak, but the words are unlikely to make sense and he or she will not be able to respond to others in an appropriate way.

Although complex partial seizures can affect any area of the brain, they often take place in one of the brain's two temporal lobes. Because of this, the condition is sometimes called "temporal lobe epilepsy."

"Psychomotor epilepsy" is another term doctors may use to describe complex partial seizures.

Typically, a complex partial seizure starts with a blank stare and loss of contact with surroundings.

This is often followed by chewing movements with the mouth, picking at or fumbling with clothing, mumbling and performing simple, unorganized movements over and over again.

Sometimes people wander around during complex partial seizures. For example, a person might leave a room, go downstairs and out into the street, completely unaware of what he or she was doing.

In rare cases, a person might try to undress during a seizure, or become very agitated, screaming, running or making flailing movements with his arms or bicycling movements with his legs.

Other complex partial seizures may cause a person to run in apparent fear, or cry out, or repeat the same phrase over and over again.

Actions and movements are typically unorganized, confused and unfocused during a complex partial seizure.

However, if a complex partial seizure suddenly begins while someone is in the middle of a repetitive action—like dealing cards or stirring a cup of coffee—he or she may stare for a moment then continue with the action during the seizure, but in a mechanical, unorganized kind of way.

 It was explained to me that he ran out of the room for a nurse -- and got me some sugared juice to drink.  My daughter explained that this was normal for me -- a seizure -- and she called for my mother whom had driven us to the appointment.  I came out of it in a few minutes, and I recall the doctor asking me if I had remembered any of the information he had relayed regarding my daughter's skin-care.  I did remember a bit, however I have no memory of losing connection to the world.  None at all.

Another 365 days of no driving.  This is fun, y'all.  Do not take your independence for granted -- EVER.  

• Neurological changes felt 10/2006 (or earlier...) 
• First (maybe?) complex partial seizure - 10/20/2006
• First documented grand mal seizure - 1/10/2008 (Which stopped with the use of anti-epileptic medication...)
• Most recent 12/21 and 12/28/2011