Nasogastric Tube Feeding Crash Diet for Brides and More! Get one! O-o

Feeling a little chubby before your big day?  Are you horrified that you might waddle down the aisle on your wedding day?  Is your fiancee upset by your love-handles?  

Forget your typical crash diets, forget the Weight Watchers, nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Slim-Fast, Medifast, The Cookie Diet, even drinking horse urine... you can now --

...GET A FEEDING TUBE!   The K-E Diet costs $1500 for ten days and those willing to wear a tube in their nose 24-7 will be rewarded with weight loss of up to 20 pounds.

A nasogastric tube better known as a NG tube, is a tiny flexible tube that carries calories/medicines medicine to the stomach through the nose.   It is often used for tiny infants who cannot take in enough nutrition on their own, and those who can't - for a variety of reasons - ingest solids for an extended period of time.  Sometimes bariatric surgery patients require a tube-feed if they become malnourished due to a functional issue with the weight loss surgery procedure.   At times a NG Tube is used due to a psychological inability to take in oral calories, and malnourishment.  It's usually for REFEEDING, not WEIGHT LOSS.

Such as eating disorders like anorexia -

• The patient is less than or equal to 85% ideal body weight (IBW).
• The patient has experienced greater than 1 month severe restriction (less than 500 calories per day) prior to admission.
• The patient is severely restricting fluid intake and needs the NG tube to maintain hydration status.

No longer a is a nasogastric tube for the medically fragile person, it's for the crash dieter!  How, exciting?  Go, get one?  (Please understand my level of sarcasm here.)

An article in the NY times shares a variety of crash-diets for the Bride-To-Be, including the tube feeding option which is something new to the United States.

Dr. Oliver R. Di Pietro has been offering what he calls a K-E diet at his modest clinic in Bay Harbor Islands, Fla., since last July.

It uses a nasogastric tube (a tube that goes through the nose and down the esophagus into the stomach) to provide all nourishment, with no carbohydrates for 10 days. Dr. Di Pietro said body weight is lost quickly through ketosis, the state in which the body burns fat rather than sugar. 

“Any extreme low-calorie diet is associated with side effects, kidney stones, dehydration and headaches,” Dr. Aronne said, “and if you lose muscle mass and water, what’s the point of that?”

Dr. Scott Shikora, the director of the Center for Metabolic Health and Bariatric Surgery at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, said: “Putting a tube in one’s nose, it’s not always comfortable and pleasant. And this has to be medically supervised.”

Dr. Shikora was the director of Bariatric Surgery at the hospital I had my gastric bypass at 8 years ago, and was also the President of the ASBMS a couple years ago.  He knows how to help people lose weight.  

Dr. Shikora also said any caloric restriction will lead to weight loss.

“The novelty is, they shove a tube in your nose,” he said.  â€œIt doesn’t matter if it’s through a tube, a straw, a meal plan,” he said. “They all work, if someone goes from 3,000 calories a day to 800.”

Which is why WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY WORKS.  What do WLS patients do?  We go from 3000+ calories per day to 0 calories, to about 500-800 calories for many months.  WLS can be described the most severe crash diet you ever go on.

Tube feeding -- delicious.   Makes me want to go get one to lose my last 20+ lbs.  o-O  I am sure people whom have had to have a NG tube, or had to help a child or family member with one... would just love to try that again. 

PS.  Edited to add.  If you've already HAD weight loss surgery, do not even THINK about it.