All the weight I didn’t lose

All the weight I didn’t lose - from Salon.com 

"I am the “after” side of surgery, having lost more than 250 pounds. No one gets this, at least not without an explanation, because I still weigh over 200 pounds, and the weight loss fable is supposed to end when you’re thin, not when you’re merely “an average fat American.”

Yes, some of us do "get it."  

This is a powerful article a friend of mine who happens to be a special kind of "after"  (which is not the kind of " air quotes" that indicate failure, but that she has SHIT TO DEAL WITH and y'all need to stop judging a person at first glance, you know?) posted in my BBGC support group.   Thank you, Sarah.  I GET IT.  Some of us DO.  Rawr.  

Please read it.  Please open your mind to all "afters," and stop the WLS shaming.  

"I still wonder if I should get more surgery. I have so many pieces of clothing that fit, but that I reject because they cling in one place wrong. That particular place is my right thigh and calf, which are obviously larger than the left. (I call it my freak leg.) Doctors have no real explanation, but the general theory is that a fall I suffered when I weighed 600 pounds actually broke off a chunk of fat in my calf. That place just above my knee seems swollen, and is the reason I can’t wear skirts anywhere close to above the knee. If jeans stick to the freak leg, I toss them into the back of the closet and try another pair.

In general, I have bravado about my body. I worked hard for it, and I willingly wear a swimsuit in public. I endured surgeries for this body. I lost my navel when they chopped off all my redundant skin. “Redundant.” The word reminds me of English movies where someone gets fired, “made redundant.” I have wanted to fire my whole body at one point or another, but that putrid mass of dangling gut skin, my prize after losing nearly 300 pounds, sat quivering at the top of my layoff list. It oozed and wept and smelled like old gym socks. I could lift it like an apron — not an uncommon phenomena in gastric bypass circles. The surgery to remove this old skin is actually called a panniculectomy because the latin word for apron is “pannus.”

If you’re a woman fat enough to have required a panniculectomy, and you’re not a total uggo, you’ve probably heard the best, worst compliment thin women can bestow: “You have such a pretty face!” They say it the way you apologize to someone when a pet dies. The “but” hangs in the air, unspoken, and the person who tells you about your pretty face generally shakes her head sadly before walking away..."

All the weight I didn’t lose - Go read the entire article at Salon.

 

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