I used to blog a lot and somewhere along the way I got my hand-slapped and I felt compelled to stop telling my stories. I feel like the stories are coming back, bubbling to the surface and I'm going to have to write. I am not exactly sure when I lost my 'words' but I am totally aware that I did, and I know I feel even torn posting about posting again, know this.
I saw a quote someplace that suggested that if you ever had a second thought about posting anything online - even for a second - that it probably should not go up. This made me second guess a lot of what I want to say, write, and half of what I start to post and take back.
I also feel like I need to take a step back and reassess the things I want to put out there, the direction I want for my blog, my peers, my support group and where I was going with just me, you know? I started all of this with just me, many years ago, for me. Blogging filled a need at that time.
I also, honestly feel like everyone was jumping in the blog game trying to get a slice of this thing called work-at-home-luxurious living that they seem to think people like me have (...had?) and I sort of wanted out. I had people telling me that "folks trying to be like you, Beth."
But if they were, they'd be housebound and unemployed*, be jealous, bitch can't even get a gallon of milk, and I am reminded of this ALL DAY LONG.
Somedays I feel like an ass because I have women posting things like, "You're my inspiration!" when I am over here thinking about that other woman who probably thinks "It's because she has all that free time to work on herself" when in reality my life is pretty ...
...much like yours, except much more boring.
Please don't assume.
*PS. Now I remember why I began.