Hooters Waitress wearing an XS told to "tighten up" because she's too fat. HA.

I swear I am not laughing.

Don't you hate it when...

 
 You have juicy gossip or things you WANT to dish about?!  But, you can't, 'cause it will come out soon enough, and it does not have to come from you.  So. That's that.

But, the harder part is, not blogging stuff that you really. want. to. blog. because it's PERFECTLY on topic, but it just isn't your place.  I know, when have I ever.  But, it's true, there's a lot I just don't discuss.

To be anonymous, man.

(Sits on her fingers, for now.)   

Michelle Obama Unveils Childhood Obesity Task Force Action Plan

Beth lives in a "food desert?"  I think I need to re-listen.

."

The Virtual Choir. Uh, Wow?

"The Virtual Choir project began as a simple experiment in social media, but it seems to have grown into something much bigger than I ever dreamed possible. The latest video has gone ‘viral’, and the video looks like it’s well on its way to 700,000 views, maybe more."  

- Composer, Eric Whitacre

All of the singers uploaded videos of themselves singing different parts of the song to YouTube, following the lead of composer and conductor Eric Whitacre.

Related articles by Zemanta

• YouTube Choir of 250 Fulfills Composer's Dream [VIDEO] (mashable.com)
• YouTube Clips Create a Virtual Choir (gigaom.com)

At the risk of making my daughter hate me: BIEBER FEVER!

Lyrics:

Hey yo, its me again. Im everywhere and 
Im still rockin lesbian hair

Im on your T.V. Im on your phone
I declare this world a Bieber zone

Im made of cupcakes, ice cream, and flowers
Young girls are helpless to my dark powers

They cant stop screaming they dont know why
They pee their pants then they fall down and cry

Chorus
All these shorties got Bieber Bieber Fever 
They love me like Milfs love Derek Jeter

I got em drooling like golden retrievers
They all bow down to me cus I am their leader

SCIENTIST 
It starts with screaming, and OMGing
Followed by weeping and lots of tweeting

Once theyre infected they are insane
The only cure is to disable the brain

JASPER
I hate this pop crap, I like to rock
Hes worse than Backstreet Brothers on the Block.

CHET
Hes aint so bad, he could be worse. (He becomes hypnotized)
I think I love him. 

JASPER
(Hes now hypnotized as well) Hey, I saw him first!

SCIENTIST
If your daughter catches Bieber Bieber fever 
Chop off her head with a meat cleaver 

REPORTER
Can adults contract Bieber fever?

SCIENTIST
Yes! But its mostly single moms and substitute teachers.

Lil Wayne
Weezy F. Baby and you know Im paid
I dont want to drink no Bieber Kool aid

I sip on syrup and smoke that Cheeba
Im way too gangta for Justin Bieber

I dont want to do a do a duet 
This little motherfuckers gonna ruin my rep

Every rapper has to do a song with this cutie
Its the hip-hop version of jury duty

Ill never sell out, cus Im little Wheezy
Im feeling light headed and a little queasy

Wanna carry you around on my shoulders
And tattoo your name up on my shoulders

You could be my little caucasian brother
If we go to the movies do we have to bring Usher?

I got a baby mama but I want to leave her
Cus I gotta bad case of the Bieber Fever

BIEBER
Bieber Bieber Fever
Now the whole planets got Bieber Fever
The streets will flow with blood of the non-believers

Theres no defense against Bieber Fever 

LIL WAYNE
Bieberback, Bieberback. Bieberback, ribs. Yummy.

Have you checked your MD's history?

What follows is a piece of an article from a series of articles from the LA Times.  I've been casually following this series, you may recall other posts, some that I deleted, because a lawyer has been up in my email.

I cannot stress ENOUGH the importance of checking up your doctor/facility in your state prior to your procedure, whether it be weight loss surgery or plastic reconstructive surgery.  I was >this close< to having plastic surgery with a doctor who later had his medical license revoked.  It happens.  Be aware.

 

^{Mr. Brooks, father of six, died a few days after gastric-banding surgery.}

Lap-band patients operate in the dark

Information about facilities' disciplinary histories is public, but few consumers know how to find it. 

Willie Brooks Jr. was a 35-year-old substitute custodial worker for the Pomona school district when he decided to do something about his weight last year.

The 6-foot-6 Brooks tipped the scale at nearly 300 pounds. He thought he would be in line for a permanent position if he lost a few pounds. 

So when he noticed the advertising campaign suggesting he find out about weight loss surgery by calling 1-800-GET-SLIM, he followed up.

Brooks had surgery to implant a lap-band -- a silicone ring fitted around the upper stomach to suppress appetite -- last June 5 at a surgical facility in Beverly Hills operated by Top Surgeons, the sponsor of those 1-800-GET-THIN and 1-800-GET-SLIM billboards that have become as inescapable on Southern California freeways as smog in summer. He was sent home to Perris with a prescription for oxycodone painkiller and instructions to return in a week.

Three days later, Brooks was dead. 

Lane Bryant Says Fox, ABC Censored Spot but not Victoria's Secret

• Lane Bryant Says Fox, ABC Censored Spot

Lane Bryant is up in arms that two networks -- Fox and ABC -- have resisted airing a sexy lingerie ad from the company in time periods where the networks have broadcast other racy fare.

In a post on LB's Inside Curve blog, the company complains that "ABC and Fox have made the decision to define beauty for you by denying our new, groundbreaking Cacique commercial from airing freely on their networks." The ad, which was initially available on YouTube and at lanebryant.com/sexy, has since been removed. It was created by Omnicom's Zimmerman.

The post also claims that ABC "restricted our airtime" and refused to air the spot during Dancing With the Stars, while Fox "demanded excessive re-edits and rebuffed it three times before relenting to air it during the final 10 minutes of American Idol, but only after we threatened to pull the ad buy."

The post continues: "Yes, these are the same networks that have scantily-clad housewives so desperate they seduce every man on the block -- and don't forget Bart Simpson, who has shown us the moon more often than NASA -- all in what they call "family hour.'" 

The ad depicts several attractive, plus-sized models in the latest line of Lane Bryant lingerie. Ample cleavage-which Bryant says was a problem for the nets-is on display in the ad. "The networks exclaimed, 'She has...cleavage!'  Gasp!'' the blog post states. 

"While it's no secret that Victoria's Secret 'The Nakeds' ads are prancing around on major networks leaving little to the imagination, steaming up TV screens and baring nearly everything but their souls, our sultry siren who shows sophisticated sass is somehow deemed inappropriate ... Does this smack of a double standard?  Yep. It does to us, too," the post continues.

Not surprisingly, comments from readers on the blog support the ad and chide the networks. "I have been advocating for curvy girls for about 20 years now ... and STILL there is bigotry against women of size. We're deemed inappropriate, unintelligent, and we're shunned. This happens to us on a daily basis!," wrote one responder who identified herself as Willokeays. 

"What is wrong with people? She looks gorgeous," added another writer, responding as Marycontrary.

Reps at the two networks could not immediately respond to the client's complaints about their treatment of the client's ad. 

Alice!

 

I want to see Alice!

McCain and The Dietary Supplement Safety Act of 2010, is it going to take our vitamins away?

This is a bit more than scary.

Whole Foods Offering BIGGER DISCOUNTS To Skinnier Employees

Or, making chubby people pay more. 

 Whole Paycheck to offer their employees bigger discounts on product from their shops if they get "healthy," including reducing their BMI to >24 for the Best! Deal! On! More! Food!

Thinner employees deserve more savings on groceries than slightly fat ones.  If I worked for Whole Foods, I wouldn't get an increased discount because I am fat. 

Makes total sense, no?  <insert sarcasm here>

 
 

  

Beautiful.

Unless you're living in a cave, you must have seen the "Hope For Haiti" Telethon last night. Wow. But, Madonna? I just wanted to hear the choir. You skeered me.

Octomom Nadya Suleman In A Bikini. What?

Octomom birthed a litter of puppies. Her belly should resemble a woman who's lost 200 lbs.  She denies any plastic surgery.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No, really, she says so.

*rolling on the floor*

If Octomom did not have plastic surgery, I bow my pannus to her.

^{*Warning: bush at the link.}

But.  She's got no button!  It's a slit!   
 

Sued By 'Cookie Diet' Company

What?  What if her statement was an opinion, even uneducated, but simply just an opinion?

Source -

Mr. Siegal’s Cookie Diet filed a defamation lawsuit against the reality starlet in Miami on Tuesday for unspecified damages after Kardashian reportedly Tweeted on October 29 that the popular diet was “unhealthy.” 

According to the lawsuit filed by the Cookie Diet, Kardashian wrote:

“Dr. Siegal’s cookie diet is falsely promoting that I’m on this diet. NOT TRUE! I would never do this unhealthy diet! I do QuickTrim!”

“If this Dr. Siegal is lying about me being on this diet, what else are they lying about?"

The company has refused to take the Tweets sitting down.

“Kim Kardashian failed to say she is a paid endorser of QuickTrim. She is in the public eye and when she makes a comment people hear it,” Matthew Siegal, the President & CEO of the company told Pop Tarts. “She made a derogatory statement about our brand, and that negative impact could cost us tens of millions of dollars.” 

Deputy Daddy.

Mr. has found it.  "The" part-time opportunity.  He is a Bank Branch Manager II and AVP.  He likes his job, and has been in this same field since 2001.  But, he has always been seeking a part time position.  We have nearly always been a one working parent family, and income is always an issue.  No matter when.

He's been an EMT, a guard at a Senior Living facility, and has recently renewed his EMT license, and applied to use it, but no offers yet.

If you ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up?  Police Officer.  Absolutely.  He was >this< close to actually joining the Army in senior year of high school.  He hoped to somehow be involved in Military Policing or Emergency Medicine, but life happened, and have you met my 12 year old daughter?  He lost 100 pounds for the recruitment process!  But, it never happened.  I shouldn't really say, "THANK GOODNESS."  But, that was my reaction.

So when he stumbled upon this opportunity a few days ago, he jumped on it.  Immediately and with sheer determination. The paperwork alone?  Whoa.  Including a hand-written biography.  It would mean part time shifts as a Deputy Sheriff in our county.  Part time policing, flagging, etc.  You should see his excitement over this.  Assuming he can meet all requirements:

• a U.S. Citizen
• Background/ Criminal History check (Board of Probation (BOP)/ Interstate Identification Index (III) must be clear with no convictions.
• Have an Excellent Driving Record
• Initial Interview Process
• Possess a Massachusetts Driver’s License
• Possess Health/ Medical Insurance
• Be able to obtain a Massachusetts Firearms License to Carry- Class A

 ...he would love this opportunity.

Balloon Boy says, "We did it for the show!"

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I can't watch the video. However. OMG. GET THE BOY DOWN. Edited to add - nevermind - the child was not in it. Where in the heck?! Edited again - ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Your baby is much too fat. No insurance for you.

This very well could have been us with my three out of four kids over the 95% percentile from birth onward. (The last baby, my post RNY baby, was underweight.)

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Nutrisystem Announces Distribution at Walmart, Cue Your Eye Roll.

Initially I rolled my eyes at this press release.  Honestly.  

You know I am a Wal*Mart shopper, in fact I am an ex Wal*Mart Employee as is Mr. MM.  (You're looking at Department Manager Beth here, and Assistant Store Manager Bob.  Gack, I know.  But, tis true.  They opened a store across the street from where we were living at the time, and the both of us got job there until I quit nearly immediately -- while he worked for peanuts and had the best commute EVER.)

I spend a good $300 a week there, and the company has received a large portion of my income for years.  I have to admit to it, because it's true. 

I shop other grocery stores for a few things, but typically, we're all Wal*Mart.   Even if I did not WANT to spend grocery money there, I do, as the costs of where I would have liked to go (WHOLEFOODSWHOLEFOODS) were quite prohibitive for a family of six on one and a fourth incomes.  (That, and the times I go to Whole Foods, I'm surrounded by a virtual luxury car sales lot and $800 baby strollers.  Wal*Mart shoppers don't so much Fit In with our $1 flip-flops and Garanimal-clothed babies.)

But one of my frustrations with The Wal*Martz has always been not being able to find diet-appropriate choices, and being sucked into several aisles of Fat Food.  At this time, I currently walk past at least two full aisles in the grocery section if I can get away with it, seriously, a FULL 60+ foot aisle of orange and black bags of Halloween Candy?  Is this necessary?  It's like an epileptic hypoglycemics playground!

So, yeah, as much as it feels like bringing a plan like nutrisystem into a place like Wal*Mart is just ass backwards, it does make sense.  We ARE it's target customers.  The Wal*Mart customers.  I just want to know if they can place it in tempting locales like the CANDY AISLE and in the middle of a toy aisle.  Don't put it in the pharmacy area -- I mean -- who actually buys the appetite suppressants and diet bars THERE?  (Besides peeps like me who grab their Atkins Coconut Bars before hitting the carb aisles... hoping it will help deflect the goodies jumping into our carts.)

Wal*Mart is marketing SODA and CHIPS in non-food aisles of the store -- and it works! 

Why not put some diet/lifestyle eating plans in the SAME PLACES to target us -- the people that buy the stuff? (Don't say we don't -- go have a look at the products -- a lot are the same or Quite Similar to products you might already use in other plans, or buy online.)

Do you think this is a good idea?  Placing diet plans like this in Wal*Mart?

This is a Press Release, hence the commercial-ness of it.

HORSHAM, Pa., Oct. 5 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Nutrisystem, Inc. (Nasdaq: NTRI), a leading provider of weight management programs and services, has aligned with Walmart to offer customers the convenience of a Nutrisystem 14-Day Starter Program for the first time in the retail channel.

Hitting shelves at the brink of the holiday rush and leading into the height of the 2010 New Year's resolution season, the Nutrisystem 14-Day Starter Program will start rolling out nationwide at over 3,200 Walmart locations the first week of October, and will be available on Walmart.com.

"Our alliance with Walmart is an extension of our goal to consistently offer consumers a convenient, affordable and effective weight loss option," said Will Auchincloss, Senior Vice President of Business Development at Nutrisystem. "Walmart provides us with a new and valuable distribution channel to broaden our customer base and build awareness of our product at the retail level."

Wendy's Plastic Removed From Man's Lung

Wendy's Plastic Removed From Man's Lung - ABC News Shared via AddThis

Jon + Kate Take Eight, The Porn Version.

Oh.  My.  I wonder if you're interested to know if they've got a Jon who's rockin' beer gut?

Oh.  My. 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rchemel/porn-spoof-jon-kate-fk-8-4c

CHATSWORTH, Calif.—Devil’s Film is preparing to roll out a new spoof of a mainstream reality TV show with its hardcore DVD, Jon & Kate Fuck Eight.  The parody is based on the notorious couple Jon & Kate Gosselin, who star in TLC’s “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” with their sextuplets and twins. The couple recently split up, creating plenty of material for tabloid news outlets.

And you wonder why we get pissed off? Toddler slapped in the face at Wal Mart

I read about this  just after I reposted about my nearly two year old being told to "Shut the fuck up" last year at a car dealership.

What is happening to people?

Don't like kids - stay the fuck home!