This Girl Can.

I saw this video floating around a couple of weeks ago but did not click it. I just did - and glad I did. I enjoyed it, aside from the use of one phrase I don't particularly ... like?

It's inspiring for those who struggle with exercise and body image. (Because, yes.)

Skin skin skin

"Where do you hide all the skin, you look GREAT!?" Exactly. Hide All The Skin. We learn to hide. *peers over at the TV who is currently trying to tell me to #lovemyselfie Shut Up* 

That time I shamefully admit I was lazy.

December 2013

February 2014

Current

This is that moment where I put my tail between my legs and come to you and say it -- because this is what I Need To See - Proof That A Thing Works?

I have a very literal type brain.  (More on that later this year.  I promise you. My next appointment is Valentine's Day.)

Figure out where Beth's seizure focus is?

I must have proof of a thing in order to believe it.  I do not blindly follow anything without seeing results, documents, charts that show me "IF YOU DO X, Y will be yours."  This is why I am a hard "sell" and you rarely see reviews here anymore.  (More on that, coming, too.)

In 2012 I was in a regain pattern and found myself hitting a high weight that I could not imagine after RNY.

Regain, 2012

I refused to allow it although I know realistically it is possible.  I've been there before.  And knowing that I need to eat food  -- I realised I needed to do something different because obviously eating as much food as I want/need to and not moving my ass was no longer working.

I added a little bit of exercise -- and I saw a little bit of endurance increase.  And I struggled to keep going, and keep at it and now I finally see body results.  

The scale is in solid maintenance mode.  I see range of up 5 lbs down 5 lbs up 5 lbs down lbs every single month.  But I guarantee my muscle mass is increasing.  I will get a new assessment done at some point to ensure this -- and see because I am interested in knowing the percentage of change.

This is where those people who used to scream at me to MOVE MY ASS get to say, "WE TOLD YOU SO."  I did not listen.  I was (...somewhat, but not really) lazy.  I thought I could get away with just "eating okay" and being relatively active.  

Nope.  I am proof it (...sitting on your ass) doesn't work.  

• Join me on Facebook - where I post everyday
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Why do we not HAVE THIS!? Gyms for people of size!

EXACTLY.  Do you know how long it took me to put my butt inside a gym?!  Listen at this link.

I talk all the time about having enough money to open gyms for all-sizes-and-levels.  Regardless of my size, I am still 320 lbs in my head and I am more comfortable surrounded with women of size.

It's one of a number of companies and organizations that are marketing fitness to people who are overweight or obese. It's not a bad business strategy, considering that 69 percent of American adults fit in that category, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The Planet Fitness chain touts its "Judgment Free Zones". In Omaha, Neb., Square Onepromises you won't find "size 2's in sports bras sprinting on treadmills." This gym, started by Marty Wolff, who competed on NBC's "The Biggest Loser," says it is for "people of size." And many YMCA facilities feature photos of the faces and bodies of actual members – "real people" – instead of supermodels or body builders.

Schrantz used to be a chronic gym quitter. She'd sign up, go once and never return. The looks she got at other gyms made her uncomfortable.

"My thought on that is why are you looking at me when I got off of the couch, I got off of my bed and I'm actually doing something about it?" Schrantz said, during an interview at the gym. Still, she says, "It's hard."

As she said that, she began to tear up. Other members of the gym came to comfort her. They put their arms around her while she cried.

Here, members sweat together – and shed tears together.

Kishan Shah is the CEO of Downsize, which has hundreds of members across the U.S. They weigh anywhere from 200 to 700 pounds. Shah used to weigh 400 pounds and have a 62-inch waist. Today, he's half that weight and always finds time for a yoga or cardio class in between business meetings.

Fitness is about a lot more than just looks, Shah says.

That time I relived the Presidential Physical Fitness Test

"So you're a blogger, are you going to write about this?"

"If I told you..."

I might have already put it on Facebook because I have compulsive posting issues. 

I had my Very First Fitness Profile At A Gym yesterday.  

Just Because Someone Has Bariatric Surgery - It Does Not Make Them A Magical Athlete Who Runs Marathons, Lifts Weights Or Even Gives A Flying Fuck About Doing These Things.

"But all the people on the Facebooks -- they post photos of the try-athelete-a-thons -- and the Things They Can Do Just Six Weeks After Surgery,  and all their new muscles and how they can make it rain, and Why Can't I?"

No.  It is not *typical.

Here comes Beth -- pissing on your surgiversary parade again.  Boo-hoo.  This is my opinion only.  If you do not like it, fine.

However individuals that have bariatric surgery -- they are tore up.  One does not go from super morbid obesity to Athlete! *with added sparkles and instant motivation* overnight.  It just does not happen that way.   

Sometimes it takes a very long time to get some any motivation, inspiration to get your butt off the couch and do something anything!  In my experience over the past ten years post weight loss surgery:  motivation comes cyclically and there's always an underlying trigger and goal.

For a select few post WLS patients, just losing weight is enough of a motivation to get going.  You see this in the "honeymoon stage" of weight loss repeatedly - people get all sorts of excited during the rapid stages of weight loss and sign up for their gym - get into a class - buy a piece of equipment for home use - sign up for their first walk, run, "I did my first 5K!"  These kind of things are all common.

For me, this happened ever-so-briefly.  I got out and walked miles and miles and miles to the Black Eyed Peas - it was 2005.  I reached to my "goal" weight.  We joined the YMCA.  Things were going swimmingly in All Things Weight Loss!

But you know what - life happens sometimes.  

"WHAT IS THIS THING YOU CALL LIFE?!?!  HOW DARE IT INTERFERE WITH MY SIZE 6 PANTS?!"

Shit happens.  You deal.

I threw away my size six pants, bought maternity pants, and she's now seven. (And cute.  We'll keep her.) However that wasn't the only Life That I Got.  My life imploded at about the same time - and I haven't had a normal living/working situation since.  

Again, I'll say this:  

Shit happens.  You deal.  (OR.  You don't.  And it's pretty obvious when you aren't.)

Mostly?

My weight chart reflects the ... mostly.

It looks like a bad ride on the rollercoaster until about one year ago.  

And you know some health-coach-wannabe posted that on my weight chart a few years ago - and I nearly tore her head off.  It was truth.  

My weight chart reflects that I was not dealing very well with my shit.

That kind of honesty hurts sometimes - and I am sorry if it bothers you.  But we - as former current-always-cycling-obese folks (...I will always be a big girl) wear our issues.  When I stop weighing myself, checking in with my jeans-that-should-fit, eating as I know I should, I need to check MYSELF. 

Weight is very personal.  Let me repeat this.  When I stop weighing MYSELF - it means something is out of balance.  It means FOR ME - that I have made a choice to stop doing something right elsewhere:  usually my eating choices.   To be perfectly honest, it takes very little change in calories or types of food to increase my body weight at this stage so I notice upswings immediately.

(This is when the trainer reading this realizes he got way more than he bargained for.  Why did I ask for this URL!?)

A little more than a year ago - I was in a regain pattern.  I saw a number on the scale that frightened me.  (Personally.  We ALL have a number.  Your number may be different than my number may be different than her number.  I am five foot three, and my personal number was the qualifying number for WLS again.)  

I knew that something had to change and I knew that I had to do something different because I was stuck in a rut of this pattern up cycling up so many pounds and back down so many pounds.  

I have been a weight loss patient for many years - I know how to lose weight - goodness knows I can regain it - but - maintaining is different.  I had to think about it:  what haven't I done before?

Um.  #1 - Exercise on a regular basis.

*SHOCK AND AWE - GASP!*

No shit, right?  Nope.  My exercise motivation over the last ten years has been apathetic.  I have more excuses than most of you, honest.  I still do, and it's hardly worth throwing them out there because there are people out there with much bigger challenges than you or I - that are busting their butts - and we aren't.  

"What do you mean, EXCUSES, Beth?"

I can't drive a car, when I was diagnosed with intractible epilepsy I had to lose my drivers' license, I can't get to the gym on my own, I am not supposed to exercise near the road, I can't walk on my own, I have four kids, begging them to go is a pain... yadda yadda yadda...

And, the worst of all?

I. am. *lazy.  I have always been lazy.  I may always BE lazy.  I may never really enjoy Exercising On Purpose.  It may always feel like work to me.  

"Just put in a DVD."

That's where lazy comes in.  See?  That has happened maybe five times in my life -- and each of those times I ended up blogging about the video instead of working out.   TV + Me = No. 

So, there's that - I started moving my ass just a little bit.

It worked.  It did not take much.  I don't try very hard.  *See above, lazy.  I lost every pound of the regain, plus some, and I have maintained the loss for six months.  

*tiny party*

As for exercise - if you have been following me on Facebook - I try to get to the gym at least three days a week or more - it is increasingly difficult with my husband's work schedule and six of us in this house but we do what we can.  When I do get there - I aim for a full sixty minutes of cardio on a cross-trainer or elliptical machine, and sometimes another fifteen to thirty on another machine or treadmill at a lower intensity.  

I was not able to do that much exercise right away.  It was overwhelming to me -- which was why I started to write this post to begin with.  I started with FIVE MINUTES on the machine, many months ago and pushed through to where I am now.   Because you know what -- six months ago -- had you told me "Go do an hour on that machine --"  I'd have laughed at you.

That is why I am sharing - because - it's NOT too late to start.  I was nine years into my journey when I started "again."

#2 - Food journaling, eating of Le Crap.

*GASP!  What do you MEAN the Bad Girl Does Not Actually Eat Cupcakes?*

I cannot validate the caloric-cost.  Sorry.  I never really have.  To be honest:  I don't know why that was really ever equated with ME - because - I HATE CAKE.  If you knew me at all, you'll know that if we go to the local cupcakery  (1-2 times a year) they sell frosting shots, I buy ONE.  I put it in the freezer.  It's about 2 ounces of pure butter and sugar.  It's enough carbohydrates and fat to put a horse in a coma.   I am a SUGAR-CRACK-HEAD.   I dump on sugar.  Therefore, I can't, I don't.  But I would if I could.  I know myself.  I do not purchase nor eat much in the way of junk.  

Let me rephrase that: I eat a fair share of what I consider crap, I purchase none of it and I try hard not to allow a lot of stuff in my house.   I have a harder time avoiding it if it's in my face, I try to make choices based on what's left in my alloted calories for the day.   I do okay.

I aim for 1200-1400 calories, I land around 1400-1600 most days, some around 2000 calories.  

I journal about 60-75% of the time lately, days where I am distracted by stuff get forgotten (yesterday was totally lost...) and holidays tend to be screwed the heck up, but overall I have done okay with assessing my intake and my weight has stayed the same.

Where am I now?  Where do I "start?"

I passed everything except flexibility - which may have sucked because I just had a brain angiogram and I have a plug in my groin.  LOL.  (I didn't tell the trainer that.)  However, that sit-reach thing brought back awful memories of elementary school and the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.  Blech.  I couldn't ...

I find this quite amusing -- the suggestions were to lose "two pounds of body fat" to be in the "fit" range, which I did by taking off my clothes and going potty this morning.  

I'm fit.  "I fit."  

LMAO.  

And, to add resistance training - because my personal goal is to gain muscle mass and retain health. This is my start.

It's not too late.  Have you done a fitness profile?  

 

 

 

Apathy and failure

Recently when I saw a fresh weight loss and posted it, I was confronted with a commenter who asked me why I posted my body-weight.  It is a fair question and I do not challenge her asking it, because it's been asked of me many times when I have posted my actual weight-as-a-number.

I will say that number-sharing is the norm (...or was?) in the weight loss surgery/bariatric community as a whole for as long as I have been a part of it -- and that is at least 10-12 years that I have actively read and participated in emails, groups and chats.  I posted the question as a poll this morning on Facebook as well.  Go answer!  Come back.

Back in the hey-day of message boards we would add a line of text to our signatures (..siggies!) to signify our -

• HW (Highest Weight)
• SW (Start Weight or Surgery Weight)
• CW (Current Weight)
• GW (Goal Weight)

They would look alot like this!

Beth 

HW - 320  SW - 298  CW - 151 - GW - 150

Don't judge the comic-sans.  

I would go back to *my old posts circa 2003/2004 and show you, except I was banned from my message board back then, and my posts via BethLButterfly disappeared.  She posted in Comic Sans at times. Her demise is why MM exists.

Number or weight sharing is.  Was.  Always will be?  I would say that in general -- most individuals that have bariatric surgery are often proud of every single pound lost, and want to wear their "pounds lost" as a badge of honor.  Some post ops are extraordinarily proud and not only wear the pounds lost, current weight, but will add things like "LBS GONE FOREVER!"  

Losing weight is no easy feat, and after bariatric surgery -- it feels like victory. Why wouldn't someone want to own it -- even just for a while?  I suppose when you've been 500, 400, 300, 250 lbs -- wearing a newly slimmed down self is quite a change and being able to put that number out there to the universe -- even just for a while is worth it.

Now, for me.  This commenter wondered if my posting about my actual number was an obsession - let me clear it up here.  No.  I've always weighed myself.  

Bariatric surgery and the life afterwards is ALL ABOUT NUMBERS.  Losing pounds, inches, and sometimes counting calories, measuring food, and exercise.  If you're a pre-op that doesn't want to 'hear that' - I am sorry - but it really, truly, is.

I absolutely understand that some people take these numbers to an extreme - and extremes are unhealthy at any level -- and that is how we get into situations like: needing bariatric surgery.  Extreme caloric intake is unhealthy, an extreme sedentary lifestyle is unhealthy.  We require balance.  

It takes a very long time for some people to learn this:  example ---->  ME.

While I have always "weighed-in,"  I am also The Queen Of Avoidance, and as soon as I see the scale move up - I remove the scale.  (That's magic, if I can't see my regain, no one else can.  That is, until I SEE THE PHOTO EVIDENCE MYSELF AND SCREAM.  *See below.)  

So what has changed?  I removed myself from the effects of negative influences -- changed my views on some things and ... GASP ...

I added ACCOUNTABILITY to my daily life.  I now weigh myself near-daily, or at LEAST weekly.  I check-in my food nearly every single day on a journal.  

Is that obsessive?  No.  Why?  Because before -- not paying attention led to weight regain.  Surrounding myself by people with negative and apathetic views on life - brought me down.

Apathy causes failure.  

Yes, I am fully aware I am a Bariatric Bad Girl - but maybe now you understand - BAD DOES NOT EQUATE "BAD," or breaking rules, or doing things WRONG.  

It's BAD-ASS.  (Help us help, BTW.)

*June 2012 - April 2013

 

But, recently I started paying attention - and seeing results:

My brain likes to see results, black and white, literal, on paper, in lines, to show me that if I DO X - Y WILL HAPPEN.

Because it works.  (Shut up Weight Watchers.)  And my little brain likes proof.   

If I can see tangible results I will keep going - I will keep doing a thing if I can see a result.  I do not like to work for "free - " you see.  Does that make sense?  Here's an example, a very simple one.  I started going to the gym and doing basic exercise (...long walks on the treadmill and seated elliptical) about a month ago (...I'll check back in my Facebook check ins) and I noticed a tangible result the night before last.  My leg muscles are coming back.  This is enough to create a positive reaction to keep me motivated.  

It's not about obsessing about a number.  I don't have a goal.  

•  Help the BBGC Help.  

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Regain After Weight Loss Surgery.

Patient's Migraines Disappear after Remarkable Gastric Sleeve Procedure Performed by Dr. Nilesh Patel of Texas Bariatric Specialists

Do you obsess about your BODY or APPEARANCE? Your brain might be different.

It's not uncommon for those of us who have lost massive amounts of weight with bariatric surgery to have major issues with body dysmorphic disorder or problems seeing ourselves the way we really look.

Some post weight loss patients suffer terrible with body dysmorphia -- some to a much lesser degree.

But, could brains actually be different in those who have BDD?

Octane xR6 Series Recumbent Elliptical Machine

Dear Octane People, Thanks for making this. This product works for me.  I am able to use this pretty effortlessly after using the treadmill for an hour -- and I am NOT complaining yet.  

<3, The new girl at the gym with excess skin who does not enjoy flopping it all around.

Related articles

Weight-Loss Surgery's Weird Alcoholism Risk (It's not weird.)

It's not about a number.

1200 calories burned.

I am not known for being ... "active."

When I post this image, it's a big deal for me.  This indicates that Beth Has Been On The Treadmill For An Hour Almost Every Day 9/10 Days.  I also don't typically chart my activity unless I do something on purpose so - this is "doing something on purpose."

I am trying to make a habit -- to create a new habit -- to learn to enjoy exercise before I develop complete loathing for it.  Because it isn't that I hate exercise, I don't.  I just don't enjoy many of same things that others LIKE to do and I am not cut out for a lot of the things that many of you might enjoy.

For example - I will never be a long distance outdoor runner.   It just won't happen.  I can't run outdoors, unsupervised.  Why? I am an uncontolled epileptic and likely to dash into traffic.  I can't swim alone for the same reason, nor can my kids.  I can't kayak.  I can't use a bike.  Nor can I take my kids on bike rides.   Yeah, yeah.  It sucks.  Whine whine.  LOL.

I CAN walk briskly on a treadmill with a safety clip on - with people around me.   (10 times, 10 hours. 3/5-4 miles each. I haven't fallen.)

Nobody needs to know I am a high-fall risk.  (Even though I am.)    I take two medications that cause "dizziness" and "sleepiness" among other things.

I CAN walk with the family away from the road, in the woods, trails, etc.    I can hula hoop.  I can roller skate!   (I just did.)  I can take classes at the gym when I can GET there.   I've been lying to myself about all the "can'ts."  

It is really more about won'ts, isn't it?

So.

I don't really have an excuse.  I CAN.

Ricki Lake - Bargain shopping for plastic surgery - Addicted To Plastic Surgery

Plastic surgery gone awry - to save a buck.  By the way - this isn't just something that happens with cheap plastics - more on THAT later - I promise.  

Related articles

Excess skin is always fun.

2013 - Day One - Community - Caring - Pay It Forward #BBGC

Body image MYTHS - DEBUNKED! WLS will CURE MY BODY IMAGE WOES!

David B. Sarwer, Ph.D. is Associate Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry and Surgery at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania as well as Director of Clinical Services at the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders. He received his B.A. in 1990 from Tulane University, his M.A. in 1992 from Loyola University Chicago and his doctorate in clinical psychology in 1995 from Loyola University Chicago.

Clinically, Dr. Sarwer is the Director of the Stunkard Weight Management Program and is actively involved in the Bariatric Surgery Program at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. He conducts behavioral/psychological evaluations of patients prior to surgery. He also treats individuals with eating or other psychological concerns after bariatric surgery. Dr. Sarwer provides psychotherapeutic treatment to persons who have body dysmorphic disorder or other appearance concerns -

Dr. Sarwer needs to immerse himself in our WLS community forever thankyouplease, or not, because we have the BODY DYSEVERYTHING -

Because, this? No.

Here are some question and answers via Jean Fain L.I.C.S.W,, M.S. on Huffington Post - they are AMAZING little chunks of AMAZING -  

 

Body Image Researcher David Sarwer Debunks Hollywood Myths http://huff.to/RHjGnH 

Myth 1: The fatter you are, the worse your body image.

Q. People assume that weight gain and bad body image go hand in hand, and yet, that assumption doesn't reflect the truth. What's the truth about weight gain and body image?

A. There's typically very little relationship between someone's objective appearance and their subjective body image. Individuals who are the most objectively attractive will sometimes have very negative body images, and individuals who are less attractive will sometimes show relatively little body image distress. [That said,] as the American population has gotten heavier, we are perhaps a little more accepting of full-figured body presentations in public. Ten to 15 years ago when we talked about the body image of overweight individuals, the focus was: "Isn't it unfortunate that people who are overweight feel like they need to camouflage their appearance in big, baggy clothing." Now, the discussion has gone 180 degrees in the other direction: "Why are overweight individuals wearing inappropriately form-fitting and revealing clothing?"

Myth 2: Losing weight is the best way to boost body image.

Q. You've written that weight reduction is the most popular form of body image therapy. But is it the best way to boost body image? What do you have to say about that?

A. A number of studies have shown that as individuals lose weight, even very modest amounts of weight, they show improvements in body image. At the same time, a lot of people after weight loss, including the more dramatic weight loss we see with bariatric surgery, still have a good degree of residual body dissatisfaction. There are limitations to how much weight you can physically lose. Perhaps the best way to address this [residual] dissatisfaction is learning how to think and behave differently. 

Myth 3: Gastric bypass surgery cures body image woes.

Q. Clearly, bariatric surgery decreases weight-related health problems, but what about body-image woes? Is it reasonable to expect gastric bypass, among other surgical weight-loss procedures, to boost body image?

A. With all bariatric surgery procedures (gastric bypass, the sleeve, the banding procedure), the average weight loss is somewhere between 25 and 35 percent of an individual's initial body weight. Individuals typically reach those weight losses within the first 18 to 24 months after of surgery. With those weight losses, there are typically significant improvements in things like diabetes, hypertension and heart disease within the first year or two after surgery. But before patients reach the largest percentage of weight loss, they report significant improvements in body image. As patients are losing weight within the first three to six months after surgery, they report significant improvements in body image. The caveat: after they've lost weight, some patients complain about the loose, hanging skin. That's probably a big reason why more than 50,000 Americans every year turn to plastic surgery after massive weight loss.

Myth 4: Liposuction, tummy tucks and other shape-altering surgeries transform body image.

Q. The hope is that liposuction, tummy tucks and other shape-altering surgeries will transform body image, but is this hope well-founded? Do these popular procedures actually boost body image, or do they leave people feeling just as bad, if not worse?

A. After cosmetic surgical procedures, patients do experience improvements in body image.[1] The primary catalyst for a cosmetic procedure is dissatisfaction with a part of their appearance -- with their nose in the case of rhinoplasty, their love handles in the case of liposuction, or their breasts in the case of breast augmentation. After surgery, the vast majority report improvements in their physical appearance and their body image. In some cases, however, patients may be dissatisfied because of complications or scarring. In other cases, it may be they had unrealistic expectations about what the surgery was going to do. Somewhere between 5 and 15 percent of patients suffer from body dysmorphic disorder. They're preoccupied with a relatively slight defect in their appearance. Those patients typically don't report improvements in their body image after undergoing cosmetic surgery.

Myth 5: Breast implants boost body image.

Q. One of the most surprising things I've learned from your writing is that there's an increased suicide risk among women who get breast implants for cosmetic purposes. I know you're not saying the surgery causes suicide, but what have you concluded about body image and breast implants?

A. Seven studies throughout the world have shown an increased rate of suicide two to three times greater among women who have undergone cosmetic breast augmentation. (These studies were looking at women who get breast implants for cosmetic purposes, not for cancer.) The reasons are not particularly well-articulated, but it's likely that these women have preexisting [mental illness] that is not picked up by the plastic surgeon or not even recognized by the patient herself. One of the strongest predictors of a subsequent suicide is a history of psychiatric hospitalization. These women already have a history of significant mental illness that is returning some time within years after the cosmetic procedure.

Jean Fain is a Harvard Medical School-affiliated psychotherapist specializing in eating issues, and the author of "The Self-Compassion Diet." For more information, see www.jeanfain.com.

 

 

MM Takes A Gym Tour And Blogs About It And Suze Orman Slaps Her In The Face

Mr. and I took the kids on a tour of a local gym this morning.

Gasp!  A...gym?  I know, I already heard about it via Facebook...  "No. way. you. did."  We really did! 

"What's wrong with you, Beth?!"  

I know.  Two wild and crazy things in the span of one week?  Are you mad?

No, not really.  Not... much?

I realized when we were on the Obesity Help Cruise that I don't mind exercise -- when I'm in a gym.

Why?  Because, I've got distractions galore:  via TV, music, and Other People Around Doing The Same Thing.   Certainly the fact that we were staring OUT INTO THE CARIBBEAN helped a little itty bitty, I am sure.  Even walking the track outdoors was no trouble at all.   Again -- I was distracted by pretty things.

At home -- I rarely follow through with exercise via treadmill because I start zoning out at the wall -- and think about Getting Off Of This Thing and ... ANYTHING to GET OFF OF THIS THING -- HOW ABOUT LAUNDRY?  You said the toilet is clogged?  I'll be right there!  SQUEE!

And I do.  I'll make it 15 -20-30 minutes and quit.  But, in the context of a gym where you're surrounded by folks trying not to quit -- it's easier.  Maybe it's just me!  (I know it's not.)  

This means we've been tossing around the idea of signing up the whole family for a gym membership.

 As much as I would like to just get up and go early in the morning by my SELF, it will never happen since I am not driving anymore.  We were members of one or two gyms years ago -- right after we both had weight loss surgery -- but at the time we were living with family for a while and it was easy to take turns going.  Now, not so much.  We would have to go as a group (which can be a big freaking deal...) because there isn't any swapping off anymore -- and we don't have babysitters.

We would have to go at night or on the weekends -- which will end up being whatever teenagers that will GET UP AND GO and somehow wrangling the younger two into a class at the same time.

I pretty much realize that it's impossible AND totally worth it, simultaneously.  

My ten year old was bouncing off the walls in there:  "I SO want to DO THIS, I could take swimming lessons, and I could do THIS and then we could do THIS!"  My 13 year old didn't complain, and I saw him eyeing the weights like "I could do this."  

The frugal MM says it's a waste of money, because she is all too realistic and know what happens when people buy gym memberships.  And those who buy memberships that can't really get to the gym more than 1-2 times a week?  Huge waste of disposable income.  Suze Orman would SLAP YOU IN THE FACE.  "Go play outside you morons."  I know she'd say it.

But as Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?"  

Um.  It's not.  It never really has.  I have a hard time just getting up and going because my preferred exercise is walking outdoors -- and since I have random seizures -- I'm fearful of walking alone.

The sometimes Motivated MM knows it's worthwhile if it GETS US MOVING because moving is the goal, and what matters and who cares if it's $$$.$$ a month?  And she also saw herself in the full-body mirror without Slimpressions AT THE GYM and wanted to jump on the treadmill immediately.   Then I realize How Motivating It IS -- if I came home and posted about all the good things I would do - and the benefits I'd get from working out - and how many potential people might be motivated too?  

PS.  And the bizarrely analytical  MM already did the math and realized that it's about .88 cents to $1 per day per person in the family for such a membership, and that doesn't seem like much at ALL, but when she considers that might only be used once a week some weeks -- it seems like a lot more -- and WHAT IF WE DON'T GO AT ALL?!  Yes, I have to make it worthwhile or I won't bother.  So there's that.

Oh, I suppose I should add the cost of the protein shake I HAD TO have on the way out?  That would really... uh... add up.

Related articles

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• From the archives - Hoarding, Hoarders and Inside-Outness (meltingmama.net)
• Carnie Wilson has weight loss surgery. Again. (meltingmama.net)
• Eight Years Post Op - And I may NEVER QUIT. (meltingmama.net)

Plus-sized bodies are beautiful.

In PLUS Model Magazine, January 2012 edition, we learn some things.  

 Size 12 (THE HORROR!) can be DROP DEAD GORGEOUS -- even if Photoshopped.  I know, I know.  But, she's got wrinkles and folds!

Also --

- Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less.

- Ten years ago plus-size models averaged between size 12 and 18. Today the need for size diversity within the plus-size modeling industry continues to be questioned. The majority of plus-size models on agency boards are between a size 6 and 14, while the customers continue to express their dissatisfaction.

- Most runway models meet the Body Mass Index physical criteria for Anorexia.

- 50% of women wear a size 14 or larger, but most standard clothing outlets cater to sizes 14 or smaller.

(Please don't whine about how "Even at a size 12, I will never look like that, because I've lost _____ lbs and my body is a mess."  In this community, we are all floppy and flappy, but WOMEN?!?  YOU ARE A SIZE 12 NOW.  IS this not amazing?   As for this woman:  she's naked in a magazine because she's photoshopped and beautiful TO BEGIN WITH at her normal American size.  Not everybody is a model.)

I'm sure these things don't shock to those of us who've been much, much bigger than a size 14.  We KNOW how awful it is to shop for clothes, there just isn't any VARIETY once we're looking for "plus size" apparel.  (Do not even MENTION plus-size girls clothes, I will cut kittens.)

How do we fix this?  PLUS Model Magazine suggests --

Tips on how we can help create change:

- Support the companies who market to you. 
- Use social networking sites and email to let brands and designers know how you feel about clothing, options and the use of straight sized models (thin models) to market to you.
- Your dollars count! If you stop buying at “Store A” and let them know you will not be purchasing clothing until they market to you, this will raise concern.
- Use every avenue and opportunity you have available to you for your voice to be heard.
- Indie designers need our support.

Agreed.  We, as "plus-sized" women much push for options if we want them.  

Extreme Makeover - Weight Loss Edition

NO PAIN, NO WEIGHT LOSS: A woman who weighs nearly 400 pounds embarks on a one-year challenge in the premiere of the new series....

• Watch the Full episode -  â€œExtreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition” on ABC.

I know better than to watch weight loss, diet or exercise programming, because I  get angsty and bloggy.  

However,  I live this "I used to be 320 lb life" and seeing other obese people change dramatically DOES impact me more than your typical not ever obese person.

I am impressed, and I DO find myself doing a little cheer when someone does something SO GOOD for themselves.  The before and afters are always super motivational.  "LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID!  OMG!"

I caught most of ABC's Extreme Makeover last night, since I forced myself into bed at a decent hour and it happened to be on.

My first impression:  Perhaps this show also picks contestants based upon future looks.  They know who is going to make an UH-MAAAZING before and after slideshow.  The girl featured on last night's episode, whittled from 379 lbs to just over 200 lbs, and facially, she's a pageant winner.  You can't tell me that producers do not "see" that prior to casting.  (Yes, of course they do, it sells, the trainers are often Quite Pleasing too.)

Honestly, if you watch, read her face PRIOR, DURING and AFTER.  Her whole face changes, her smile turns ON.

My out loud thoughts during the show:

• "They expect her to do this ALONE, at home, in her normal situation?"  That's what "The Biggest Loser and other shows have done to us, we don't think it's possible to lose weight sort-of-on-our-own anymore.
• Throwing away Mama's groceries ain't gonna change nothin'.  It's up to the person who wants to lose weight.  You cannot be the food police.  Luckily in this case, after some drama, Mama lost 50 lbs with the contestant.
• "I can't believe this girl is getting plastic surgery before she's DONE losing weight."  I cringed when the plastic surgeon grabbed on her pannus.  "It's not gone yet!  That's going to be mishapen if she loses more weight!"   
• Now, I realize that maybe only massive weight loss patients who have had plastic surgery, or multiple consults, and have watched others go through the process might really GET that, but lots of loose skin is different than lots of skin covering fat.   
• And, plastics prior to loss can lead to funny shaped bodies, as can regain after plastics.  "Hello, muffin."  No comment about that.  But, muffin lost 15 lbs in three weeks, and he looks normal.
• (And, yes, I was compelled to grab my six years of skin, and play with it.  It's empty.)

I will watch again.  I was motivated by the before and after and the fact that this girl (she's just 22!) was able to lose so much weight, so young, and has the opportunity to start over.   Given the failure rates for typical diet and exercise, I would love to see an update in a couple years to see if this huge life change sticks with her and the other contestants to come.

What did you think of the show?

Update on Malissa "'The surgery might have saved my life, but I wish I'd never had it done."

In December of 2009, I wrote a blog post about Malissa Stone, an obese teenager from the UK who had weight loss surgery and was quite miserable with her results.  Now, to be fair, the article was from was seems to be a rag magazine and she was likely paid for her story, so it was dramatic.    Who's to say how much of it was truly real?  Right?  

She appeared as any of us with massive weight loss might, d e f l a t e d.  

The gossip magazine has done it again with another dramatic article. This time she's rail thin, carrying all of her excess skin with no body fat, apparently deep into a full-fledged eating disorder.  How much of this story is legit, I don't know.  Especially since part of the article calls her surgery a band, and another part, a bypass.  But I also refuse to write it off as most of the community will, by either blaming HER, the 'tool,' or the magazine.  Shut up.  I assume that she was paid a lot of money for these photos.

She's still human, she's still one of us.

Warning - This could be a little graphic ...

When a MM wears her Slimpressions?

This might happen.  I'll explain.  :x

Video - Excess Skin Support for your SHRINKING PEAR!

She's adorable.