My daughter’s pre-op update

In her own words from her post with typos!  

(I will add my experiences of these processes as the Parent-Of-Patients soon. I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY.  It’s very hard to find time to write like I used to— I have been waiting for my smallest child to settle down and not find him on a ceiling fan.  This is being posted from the bathroom, with him.)

Anyway — her quick post from yesterday —

Update:

   About four months ago I made a huge decision that is going impact the rest of my life; I started to take part in the WLS program at Boston Children’s Hospital, which most of you know. In the beginning I had barely any idea of how any of this worked and if I would even be able to lose anything. What I didn’t know was the motivation that comes with having to meet with people, and having to have lost weight before the next monthly appointment to be able to stay/ move forward in the program. 

     At my first appointment with OWL (Optimal Weight loss for Life) which is the first step in the WLS program, I was really unsure how successful I would be in the month to come while she was explaining it. But, I went to my second appointment and I had lost 13lbs which was a HUGE accomplishment for me. After this appointment I was not only shocked at what I had done it motivated me to do more for my next appointment; at the third and final appointment with OWL I had lost 5lbs which is less than the first but still an accomplishment that I was content with, although I could have done more.

        Last month I had my first meeting with the WLS program; this is when it really set in that this was going to happen. At this appointment I met the team of doctors that I am going to be working with through out the next 6 months (if all goes as planned) this team includes a dietitian, social worker, Nurse Practitioner, Psychologist, and of course Surgeon. This first appointment with them went very well they approved me for the program and gave me goals and a cool binder that has all of the foods and drinks I should be eating and what I have to do to be able to do the surgery in the time frame that I would like to; all of this was to set me up for the month until my next appointment. At my next appointment I was unsure of how I did, I hadn’t weighed myself, I honestly thought I had gained; But I didn’t I lost 12lbs which really boosted my motivation and confidence levels because now I have lost a total of 30lbs which is absolutely crazy! I am currently waiting for my next appointment at the end of March where I am hoping to do even better than last time. I am very excited to see where the next few months take me and see what the progress is like so I can reach my end goal in the WLS program!

Plus Size Prom Dress

Shopping for a prom dress is never fun.  Nope.  Never.  No.  

At least that's the impression I have always had. 

I have been through three prom dress purchases with my own girls (and two of my own) -- and I'll tell you -- it would simply be a lot easier to slide into a size __ (...after trying on countless!) rather than having to dig through a vvveeerrrrrry limited number of plus-sized dresses and only getting to try on one or two.   All the girls in the dressing room are picking up size zeroes and twos and fours and some are in tears about needing to get the dresses altered to fit - because - they're just too big.  I am looking around at a sea of teenagers ALL. WEARING. THE. SAME. COLOR. (they always do this) and wonder why it's such a big deal.  (I know, because it's the PROM.  And YOU HAVE TO.  We all - mostly? - do it.)

After getting measured, we find that she's *exactly* a size __ and we ordered the dress she wanted out of the catalog.  It was a bit disheartening to think that the prom is this year - and she doesn't get the chance to do it next year in senior year when she might be post-surgery.  It would be kind of cool to slither into a smaller size, she knows that.  Someone will need to get married or something so we can all get fancied up in a year.  

SO ANYWAY.  We put $100 down, and have to pay the balance when it comes in.  Let's hope it fits!  She matches the EXACT MEASUREMENTS of the dress, sooooo......

 

 

It starts early

Sharing Daddy's #questprotein shake diluted

A video posted by Beth Sheldon-Badore (@mmbbgc) on Dec 6, 2016 at 4:30am PST

Sharing Daddy's #questprotein shake diluted

A video posted by Beth Sheldon-Badore (@mmbbgc) on Dec 6, 2016 at 4:30am PST

One month.

If everything goes as it should, the movers arrive in one month. 

One 53 foot long truck.  One day.  Five men.  All mine. 

Shut up. 

I asked for movers.  Mr. MM works often seven days a week (he is working right now, it's a seven day week - fourteen day week - 28 day?  I don't know?) and just, no.  We don't have that much stuff, but moving from a house with three flights of stairs to another with the same - is a lot of painful lifting and, no.  I don't have local friends.  Call me lazy if you'd like.  I've had enough head injury in the last year to say, HELL NAH I AIN'T DOING IT.

"Good luck getting help, too."  It's easier just to put the crazy cost of moving on a credit card, paying it off with the next bonus, and skipping the potential vacation next summer. (Yeah, we skipped it this year too, because Elliott.)

If you have not bought or sold a house before, it can get quite expensive on either side.  Stuff pops up (either expected, like inspections, known problems....) or unexpectedly like things that you simply must have done for a buyer's mortgage to go through. (There's many rules and regulations based on the kind of buyer.)  We did not live here long enough or earn that much equity to really make out on the deal.  We put a lot of money into the house, and you don't usually get it back. 

In funner news!  Cleaning up!  Packing, a little?  And...

We have to eat up all the remaining fresh food and the kids are like, this is all that is left:

Except I got the off-brand kind, and it's not EVEN THE SAME.

We have some serious problems over here.  I'll be blogging real quick because I need to make grocery money.

 

Related articles

FDA approves non-surgical temporary balloon device to treat obesity -

Alcohol Sensitizes Brain Response to Food Aromas and Increases Food Intake in Women, Research Shows

'Anyone with a functioning brain' makes sure they look good in a bikini

At least someone's eating right

Cows eat grass.  Babies eat grass.  It's good for, fiber, right?  Fiber in, uh, this form, hurts my old cranky gastric bypass belly.  I get (excuses) bezoars (/excuses) and I eat toast instead.  I'm not suggesting that one goes and eats grass, but some things I see Dieters Eat isn't much different than what this baby got in during his outside play yesterday.  :x  You don't have to tell me to worry about "your baby eating gross that's so gross do you know what might be in there?!"  Yes.  He's baby number five.  A lot worse will be eaten.  Salad, anyone?

Lots to catch up on, so I'll start backwards.

We are buying a new-to-us house.

Which means we are selling our house. 

We were able to successfully find a buyer on the first day of showings and that meant that we had the Find A House Immediately.  Why are we doing this?!  Because, my parents sold their house (my childhood home) and moved in.  Our house isn't large enough to fit myself, the husband, the five kids AND my parents.   We discussed doing just this a year or two ago -- but then Elliott arrived (... which I still haven't really discussed here on the blog?) and life has just been warp speed.

We had tossed around the idea of building an in-law apartment, or addition, but it just was not going to work out on this property.  So, sell the house - find another!  Easy enough! 

For me:  A House Is Just A Shell.  You move shells as your life changes.  You - your family gets bigger, you get smaller. I see other people who get very attached to the material part of their homes, and want to drag it around with them - but?  Shake that shit off. 

I do not get that attached to my shell.  I like moving.  I see it as a fresh start, a new beginning.  Putting aside all the monetary costs involved,  $1000 deposit, $1000 home inspection, etc etc etc. moving can be really f - u - n. 

Right at the moment, we are nine people living in a house with one bath on the main floor and one kitchen and too many teenagers and a mobile baby and it can be A Bit Intense. 

Everyone in this house likes their own space.  My kids don't want to share bedrooms.  They have been sharing here, there, everywhere, just to make it work -- and the baby hasn't had a room anywhere, yet.  He still won't in the new house.  He has been in my bed since day one. 

I really can't worry about that, I mean, there's a garage?  (KIDDING.)  All I had asked for was a bedroom and a bathroom I could have access to without a queue at any given time.   SCORE.   And maybe a kitchen to roller skate in where I could line up 12 pizzas at a time for too many teenagers and guests.

We found one close to our current location, so that the kids can remain in college, 12th, 9th, 4th grade in their current schools.  It is quite nice - and with the basement in-law, it's larger than ours.  If all goes well with inspections, we should be moved in by November 1.

-Send Xanax, groceries, cleaning ladies, moving men and anti-seizure vibes!  Also seeking product to review.

 

And what then?

“In case you never get a second chance: don't be afraid!"

"And what if you do get a second chance?" "You take it!” 

― C. JoyBell C.

 

I am wondering if someone out there is holding a voo doo doll of me and hastily stabbing pins everywhere but in me. Quit it.  You're missing the target.  

We are wrapping up the end of March over here with the third (..fourth?) major life-changing event of 2013.  

I thought that if I did not blog about the first (...as much as I have wanted to, I was told no and I have been SCREAMING on the inside!  Still.  AM.  :x) or second (more?) that these things would not occur in threes or more but they do.  I still haven't written, much at all actually.  

Because stop.

Currently - my father is sitting in the Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Center in Boston, MA awaiting a Triple Bypass Heart Surgery on Friday morning after two RED FLAG WARNINGS that landed him in the ER.  

11 years ago, he had a stent placed after a mild heart-attack.  These warnings (DO NOT IGNORE YOUR HEART, PEOPLE!) happened just after he lost his job and likely stress was of no help.

What is a Triple Bypass?  

When one of the heart's arteries gets blocked and a person has a heart attack, one common procedure is to perform heart surgery and sew in a new piece of blood vessel to bridge over (bypass) the blockage. In many cases, the surgeon will fix not only the immediate problem, but also other arteries on the heart that are starting to look blocked. If the surgeon repairs three of the arteries, it is called a triple bypass. If four arteries are repaired, it's a quadruple bypass.

The positives?  

He's losing weight rapidly while in the hospital.  He had lost weight in a medically-supervised plan with his physician's office just prior to this event, but now he's busted into the 200's.

He's off the nicotine, and mentioned that the nurses kept trying to slip him nicotine-patches and he doesn't crave them.  It's been nearly a week, smoke-free!  This is a huge deal.  Hopefully after surgery and rehab he can maintain living smoke-free, he's done it before.

He can rock this.

He appreciates your well-wishes.

• "What is a heart bypass operation?"  01 April 2000.  HowStuffWorks.com.  27 March 2013.
• http://www.heart.org
  

Related articles

Weight-Loss Surgery's Weird Alcoholism Risk (It's not weird.)

Cleveland Clinic study shows RNY bariatric surgery restores pancreatic function by targeting belly fat

Gastric Artery Chemical Embolization GACE Procedure Helps Shut Off Ghrelin Production Without WLS

Melissa McCarthy Is Not A Hippo. Weight Bias.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I have been itching to see this movie since the preview showed just before I saw Les Miserables.  I adore Melissa McCarthy, and her body has ZERO to do with her sense of comedy.  The woman oozes funny.  

I do not particularly enjoy jokes that play on fat, body-size, or jokes written specifically to poke at the person of size.  I do appreciate a decent self-deprecating joke now and again as a person who has been there and lived the life.  

We get it, and it's okay that not every single thing is socially acceptable one hundred and ten percent of the time.  

But what is not okay are things like this jerk-wad of a reviewer calling Melissa McCarthy a hippo.

It is 2013:  we are not allowed to make jokes at the expense of a person's gender (among most EVERYTHING else...) but we can do it about their physical appearance?

Ridiculous.

To combat weight-stigma, the OAC needs YOU to help us BUST weight bias and stigma! Do you have an example of weight bias or stigma that you would like to share with the OAC?  If so, please email [email protected].

Related articles

Top 50 Emotional Eating Blogs - cue thud and human puddling.

The Great Blog Loss of 2013

I got a comment via email yesterday and I couldn't respond to it because I have no internet connectivity.  

The commenter posted that my blog sucked lately and that Why Was That and did I plan on it sucking long time?  Well, that sounds ... dirty.  Is that better?  Innuendos help make a blog better long time?

I apologize.

I will tell you again (which I started to do so in the previous-but-now-deleted-post-which-abruptly-ended-and-was-posted-when-I-didn't-know-it-was-posted-because-I-had-a-seizure-mid-posting... Please excuse the previous three sentence post which is NOW GONE.) that I have been without any connection to the outside world since the Blizzard of 2013 and that's been more than a week. 

Shout out to Verizon!

• I have NO landline PHONE.
• I have NO INTERNET aside from what I see scrolling on Facebook and what loads on Teh Googles when it wants to via phone cell tower.
• I forced Mr. MM to buy a cell-phone hot-spot so I had internet access at all inside the house.  It doesn't work so well.  But, here I am.  It's worked for 300 words so far.  *hits save again*
• I have NO cable TV, nor satellite, nor much of a DVD collection.
• Did I mention there are four children here?  O-o
• This IS the mini-apocalypse.  Forbid what happens when we have REAL WEATHER here.  9-10 days of power loss and communication fails for snow?  REALLY, 2013?
• We have had ONE HALF DAY of school in the last 10 days, and now my kids on on VACATION.
  
• The day after the blizzard, we had a death in the family, my kids had their first wake experience last night and funeral today.  (All is well, they did wonderfully...)
• Are we having fun yet? 

I can only claim the tall one. LOL.

I don't know what is going on in the world other than what I hear on NPR while cleaning my kitchen because that is where the non-internet radio IS.  

For example, during a post-wake gathering last night, my children and I surrounded a television that was on the local news.  

We saw an EXPLOSION IN THE SKY and thought the world was ending. WHAT IS THIS?!  WHAT WAS GOING ON!?  It was just the sky over Russia imploding, and very old news, but new to us. 

 We might be losing it.  

Stress triggers eating problems - WHATSTRESS?!?!??!?!?!?

Huffington Post - 

While the holidays typically come with a great deal of celebration and joy, they can also bring up feelings of loss, regret or depression. And that's the problem: no matter the emotional response, an emotional eater will often turn back to food.

"Many people use eating as a way to cope with difficult emotions, not only bad ones, but also happiness, excitement and celebration, for example," says Alexis Cona, a clinical psychologist in private practice and a researcher at New York Obesity Research Center.

Researchers believe that many emotional eaters turn to food to numb emotions that are too painful or difficult to process. As Cona explains, it can be a mindless cycle in which an emotional eater suddenly finds himself in front of the fridge, not quite knowing how he got there.

Family time during the holidays can be a particular challenge, as many disordered eating habits begin with poor boundaries between family members, Cona says. Preparing oneself for difficult and triggering interactions might be an important aspect of getting ready for the holidays.

What's more, during this season, food is more plentiful. Many people have favorite, traditional treats that they only eat during this time of year.

"There are all sorts of memories associated with family favorites -- these foods are imbued with expectations," says Ellen Shuman, president of the Binge Eating Disorder Association and an emotional and binge eating recovery coach. "That feeling of deprivation can make an emotional eater feel like they have to eat their fill in that moment. They become forbidden foods -- and that brings out the rebel in many emotional eaters."

Instead, Shuman counsels patients not to have once-a-year foods. If they love a certain dish, they should make it occasionally all year long to avoid that panicked feeling of scarcity.

So what's someone with a history of stress-based eating to do as the holidays loom large?

First of all, work on mindfulness. Cona asks her patients to check in with themselves before they eat anything. Do you feel physiologically hungry? Rate your hunger on a scale. And if you aren't actually hungry, but you want to eat, think about what you might be feeling and what underlying desire is at the bottom of the impulse to eat.

Cona also recommends practicing kindness to oneself, especially in the aftermath of an overindulgence. "Trying to find acceptance can be challenging, especially in a society that condemns us for having eaten this way; especially if our bodies don't look the way society says they should. But it's important not beat ourselves up over it. If this happens, try to learn from it. Don't shame yourself."

But Shuman adds, you may not be the only person you need to forgive. Letting go of painful family history could help prevent the emotional eater's cycle. "Keep in mind that you don't have to spend the holidays with your history with Mom -- just with Mom in that moment."

 

Related articles

Eat-Rite False food-label information

Do you GAIN weight during the holidays?

Why You're Eating When You Not Hungry

10 Emotional Traps That Trigger Overeating

Compulsive Eating in the Workplace

Infertility in obese women may be due to damaged eggs, Brigham study finds

Infertility in obese women may be due to damaged eggs, Brigham study finds

Obesity has long been associated with infertility as well as lower success rates with in vitro fertilization, and now researchers think they understand why: Obese women are more likely to have abnormalities in their eggs that make them impossible to fertilize.

Brigham and Women’s Hospital infertility researchers examined nearly 300 eggs that failed to fertilize during IVF in both severely obese women and those with a normal body weight.

They found that severely obese women were far more likely to have abnormally arranged chromosomes within their eggs compared with women who weren’t overweight, according to the study published Wednesday in the journal Human Reproduction.

 

MM Takes A Gym Tour And Blogs About It And Suze Orman Slaps Her In The Face

Mr. and I took the kids on a tour of a local gym this morning.

Gasp!  A...gym?  I know, I already heard about it via Facebook...  "No. way. you. did."  We really did! 

"What's wrong with you, Beth?!"  

I know.  Two wild and crazy things in the span of one week?  Are you mad?

No, not really.  Not... much?

I realized when we were on the Obesity Help Cruise that I don't mind exercise -- when I'm in a gym.

Why?  Because, I've got distractions galore:  via TV, music, and Other People Around Doing The Same Thing.   Certainly the fact that we were staring OUT INTO THE CARIBBEAN helped a little itty bitty, I am sure.  Even walking the track outdoors was no trouble at all.   Again -- I was distracted by pretty things.

At home -- I rarely follow through with exercise via treadmill because I start zoning out at the wall -- and think about Getting Off Of This Thing and ... ANYTHING to GET OFF OF THIS THING -- HOW ABOUT LAUNDRY?  You said the toilet is clogged?  I'll be right there!  SQUEE!

And I do.  I'll make it 15 -20-30 minutes and quit.  But, in the context of a gym where you're surrounded by folks trying not to quit -- it's easier.  Maybe it's just me!  (I know it's not.)  

This means we've been tossing around the idea of signing up the whole family for a gym membership.

 As much as I would like to just get up and go early in the morning by my SELF, it will never happen since I am not driving anymore.  We were members of one or two gyms years ago -- right after we both had weight loss surgery -- but at the time we were living with family for a while and it was easy to take turns going.  Now, not so much.  We would have to go as a group (which can be a big freaking deal...) because there isn't any swapping off anymore -- and we don't have babysitters.

We would have to go at night or on the weekends -- which will end up being whatever teenagers that will GET UP AND GO and somehow wrangling the younger two into a class at the same time.

I pretty much realize that it's impossible AND totally worth it, simultaneously.  

My ten year old was bouncing off the walls in there:  "I SO want to DO THIS, I could take swimming lessons, and I could do THIS and then we could do THIS!"  My 13 year old didn't complain, and I saw him eyeing the weights like "I could do this."  

The frugal MM says it's a waste of money, because she is all too realistic and know what happens when people buy gym memberships.  And those who buy memberships that can't really get to the gym more than 1-2 times a week?  Huge waste of disposable income.  Suze Orman would SLAP YOU IN THE FACE.  "Go play outside you morons."  I know she'd say it.

But as Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?"  

Um.  It's not.  It never really has.  I have a hard time just getting up and going because my preferred exercise is walking outdoors -- and since I have random seizures -- I'm fearful of walking alone.

The sometimes Motivated MM knows it's worthwhile if it GETS US MOVING because moving is the goal, and what matters and who cares if it's $$$.$$ a month?  And she also saw herself in the full-body mirror without Slimpressions AT THE GYM and wanted to jump on the treadmill immediately.   Then I realize How Motivating It IS -- if I came home and posted about all the good things I would do - and the benefits I'd get from working out - and how many potential people might be motivated too?  

PS.  And the bizarrely analytical  MM already did the math and realized that it's about .88 cents to $1 per day per person in the family for such a membership, and that doesn't seem like much at ALL, but when she considers that might only be used once a week some weeks -- it seems like a lot more -- and WHAT IF WE DON'T GO AT ALL?!  Yes, I have to make it worthwhile or I won't bother.  So there's that.

Oh, I suppose I should add the cost of the protein shake I HAD TO have on the way out?  That would really... uh... add up.

Related articles

• Today - Should teens have weight loss surgery? (meltingmama.net)
• From the archives - Hoarding, Hoarders and Inside-Outness (meltingmama.net)
• Carnie Wilson has weight loss surgery. Again. (meltingmama.net)
• Eight Years Post Op - And I may NEVER QUIT. (meltingmama.net)

Hit the slopes on MM - Family Four Pack to Killington Resort, VT

Allow me to live vicariously through you?  Go skiing.  On me and Killington Resort.  A family four-pack of tickets to Killington could be yours!

Killington Resort, known as “The Beast of the East,” is open for the 2011-2012 winter season and ready for skiers and riders! Nestled in the heart of Vermont’s Green Mountains, Killington’s elevation delivers optimal temperatures for snowfall, whether from Mother Nature or made by 2,000 snow guns across the resort. Terrain is expertly groomed, providing riders of all ability levels a choice of diverse skiing areas, including wide-open or narrow runs, moguls, steeps, and 16 tree skiing areas. Killington also offers multiple terrain parks for snowboarders and freeskiers, as well as off-mountain activities like the all-new, lift served Killington Tubing Park; dog sledding; cross country skiing; snowshoeing; ice skating; and snowmobiling.

To enter for the family four-pack of tickets -

• Please tweet @KillingtonMtn and @meltingmama
• Share this post on Facebook
• Make SURE to leave a comment below.  

Thanks and good luck!  

2012: It's not the end. It's the beginning.

"What the eff, Beth?  2339 words?"  Yes.

It's time for Food Guilt.

Not only is today a day after a holiday, but it's a Monday!  This translates into an early-start to the "OMG! I NEED A DIET" posts on social media.  You're overwhelmed with what you might have taken in yesterday and and time between then and Thanksgiving and you are deep in The Guilt.   "THE FOOD, IT'S IN ME!"

Reminder:  It's just food.  Food is not bad.  Food is not evil.  Even cupcakes. 

bad ¹ [bad] Show IPA adjective, worse, worst;

1.not good in any manner or degree.

2. having a wicked or evil character; morally reprehensible: There is no such thing as a bad boy.

3. of poor or inferior quality; defective; deficient: a bad diamond; a bad spark plug.

4. inadequate or below standard; not satisfactory for use: bad heating; Living conditions in some areas are very bad.

5. inaccurate, incorrect, or faulty: a bad guess.

 Food cannot be bad. 

Food is a required part of life, and your part of life is to learn how to manage your own relationship WITH FOOD so that you don't see FOOD AS EVIL.   Calories may not all be created equal, you can make better calorie or food choices, but food, cannot physically be BAD.

 

Even if you ate more than two days worth of calories yesterday -- LET IT GO -- it's just food.  The statuses that you will see online today and for the next few weeks: 

• "OMG HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN HALF A CANDY CANE?  I'm SUCH A COW." 
• "I am a pig, I ate _____________."
• "I need to work off that ___________."
• "Starting today, I'm back on my diet."

Quit it.

Self-loathing is not pretty.   Self loathing is an extreme self-hatred of oneself or your own actions.  "I can't believe I did/ate that, I'm such a loser."  For post weight loss surgery patients -- learning to live in a new body and successfully live as normally as possible -- it only makes us stand out more if we create food drama!  Just stop it.

Didn't you have weight loss surgery to be "normal?" As morbidly-obese individuals we stood out plenty, and life after weight loss surgery, we can reach a normal body weight and just BE.

You don't have to hate on yourself.  You don't have to deny yourself every pleasure of food, either.  You don't have to comment on other people's food choices or their size.  It's their cannoli, just shut up. 

Part of the holidays is (for many people, including your family and friends...) celebrating with/around food. You're going to have to get used to that -- if you want to be part of their "normal." 

Celebrating with food or around it not be what you want anymore, but for much of the population it is what they want.  If you do not want to partake, you have a choice to find something else to do or make your own good choices.  But, it is not our duty as weight loss surgery post op individuals -- to become the food police for everyone. 

(Note:  Do not do this to your family and friends.  They are not you, and they do not necessarily require your special diet or care.  I have learned that food policing does not work and often backfires It's up to each person what they are willing to do to take care of their own health.)

It's just food.  You make your own choices.  And never, ever... apologize for FOOD.

Divorce After Weight Loss Surgery

I have a favorite quote that I used to throw out there all the time, by one of my not-so-favorite TV personalities: 

"You can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life issues."

Dr.Phil

I love it because it's true.  Weight loss solves nothing about your life, aside from physical ailments. You can't expect losing weight to help you "fix" anything about yourself.  Many people have weight loss surgery thinking that "if I just lose XXX lbs, I'd be/my spouse would be/my job would be... perfect."

No.  It doesn't work that way.  Ask anyone who has already been through massive weight loss.

And, according to Dr. Connie Stapleton's video, "No matter where you go - there you are."    Again, truth.  You cannot run away from yourself.  Losing hundreds of pounds doesn't solve anything if you are still dealing with your original issues that helped created your obesity.

Your issues follow you, like a damn shadow, don't they?

I was watching BTV this morning - and they mentioned the divorce statistics for weight loss surgery patients.

Are you surprised?

80-85% of WLS patients who were obese prior to or at the time of their marriage -- break up within two years.

Shocking to you?  

Meh.  Not...really.

Consider what issues you were dealing with -- at that the time -- that might have changed SINCE losing weight.  

Did you become a different person?  

Did losing weight bring your issues to the surface -- or your spouses?  

ARE YOU NODDING LIKE CRAZY?  (I see a few of you who are jumping up and down and throwing things.)  Yes. it. did. does. don't do it.  Take care of issues before they get too big to handle.

If these things aren't dealt with, they fester and implode.  

(This is where I put in a plug, "HAVE YOU READ WEIGHTY SECRETS?")

 

Counseling Bariatric Surgery Patients - By Dan Orzech - Social Work Today Vol. 5 No. 6 P. 24

The divorce rate after weight-loss surgery is extremely high, according to Pilcher. So is the rate of job change.

That’s not always a bad thing. Morbidly obese people, subject to a lifetime of discrimination, often come to feel helpless and accept situations others would not, says Pilcher.

“Many patients, through the weight loss, become empowered to get themselves out of situations—work or marriage—that were bad,” he says.

Not everyone is affected in the same way, however.

“If a patient in a long-term marriage was a normal weight when the marriage began,” Pilcher says, “that marriage is probably in pretty good shape to withstand the changes following surgery.

If the patient was heavy at the time the marriage or the relationship began, however, there’s an 80% to 85% chance that that relationship is going to break up within two years of surgery.

I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY.

How To Have The Best Birthday EVER!

We're having a wicked good time!

"Fifty-percent of nailbed injuries have an associated distal phalangeal fracture, most often a comminuted tuft fractures.⁷ These require no specific treatment other than repair of the nailbed and replacement of the nail in the nail fold."

Yum.  One child's finger in door, and one nail ripped off.  Blood trails through the kitchen and all over me, and my house is now a crime scene.  She's fine, up in my bed with the left-hand-ring finger wrapped and up on a Boppy pillow watching Home Alone and on Ibuprofen -

"I can feel my heart beating my finger!"

I would have taken a photo, because it was so cleanly torn off of her finger, but that was just gruesome and wrong. 

I am waiting on Mr. MM Banker-By-Day-EMT-By-Training to bring her to the ER, but truly there isn't anything LEFT on her finger.  It's perfectly clean.  <shudder>

I am reading about nailbed injuries, and apparently nails are re-attached?  We, uh, threw it away.  It's gone.  This child is going to be a finger of Neosporin and bandages for about two months.  Super.

Oh, as to WHY this child is fingernail-less?  I was going out to the porch to confer with the child who had walked out of the house in a huff.  As she followed me in a panic, because I LEFT THE HOUSE (about six feet away from her) she pinched her finger in the door.  She panicked a little more when she realized it hurt.

*fun*

So you've had a bad day.

No more teachers, no more books.

It feels like the year just started and it is over. Summer vacation started a few hours ago, and we've already had three complaints of boredom. Two kids are off at sleepovers, and one has a friend over. This will last? One day, and then, complaining will begin. You seriously have NO. IDEA. 

Yes, you would think suggesting that they "go find something to do!" when the whining begins? But it just does not work that way. While I can find "things" for them to do - I empathize because I know how much it SUCKS to be stuck here - since I can't leave either.  (Remember, we're $32.00 from ANYTHING one-way in a taxi, so that quick trip to the PO Box and grocery store?  $64.00 just to get there.)  

Summer sort of snuck up on me.  I've been brain dead, a millionty milligrams of anti seizure meds will do that.  I was supposed to have saved money to sign up the middle kids for camp, like last year, and have them go off to day camp at least for a few weeks of sessions.  I blanked on that.  I should be able to get that arranged for late summer.  I did, however, force the boy into football.  He's not happy, but he did not cry.  :x  We'll see about this.

So, here's to a very. long. summer. with. no. car.