The Average Halloween Candy Score is 9,000 Calories.

And, that's going to take me HOW LONG TO WORK OFF? So, no thank you. I have zero candy in my house. We don't buy candy. We do not dole out candy to trick-or-treaters, mostly because no one comes here. The kids do go out, and they will share a couple mint-chocolate-candies with me, but I can't be bothered by the rest.

Via: DegreeSearch.org

No dear, those are not WLS friendly Easter Baskets.

The bunny left baskets err sandpails in my bedroom, so when someone climbed out of bed this morning, they were easily found.  That bunny needs to work on his locations.

GOOD MORNING!  WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!

Did you have a nice morning -- what did you give your hatchlings? 

"MM, are those WLS-Friendly?"

Um.  No.  My kids aren't WLS patients.  That said, there is very little candy in the buckets as compared to most.  There's mostly fruity-gummy stuff, I've learned that loading them up with chocolate is a bad idea -- it gets torn through so fast.  And Easter Bunnies?  

*GO READ THE LABELS, OMG.*  I stood in the store last night mouth agape at "MAMA I NEED ONE OF THOSE BUNNIES, OMG, JUST GET ME ONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!"  

So maybe there's some deodorant, hairspray, toothbrushes, hair doo dads... you know.  To be honest, two of the buckets got "protein" bars from KIND and sugar-free gum.  I won't force sugar-free candy on the kids, it's bad enough if *I eat* it, do. not. give. sugar-free. candy. to kids who think flatuence is hilarious. 

I try not to buy any candy prior to holidays (bought the basket stuff yesterday...) and NEVER EVER ON SALE AFTER THE HOLIDAYS -- because I will graze my way through a bag of chocolate like NOBODY ELSE.  So. There is no leftover chocolate in this house.  Because. I. will. eat. it.  

Beam.  

As for the rest of the day, we didn't make plans this year... in previous years we had gone out to brunch.  I think we're going to go visit family and I have the makings for a boiled dinner ready to go.

<shrug>

Go make these.  They are overwhelmingly cuuuuute.

 

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Are you still beating yourself up? Self-Compassion...

Thanksgiving was nearly a week ago, and I'd bet that some of you are still concerned with your behavior on THAT DAY. 

"I can't believe I..."

Stop. it.

Are you holding grudges against yourself?  Are you hating on your own choices on that day --- and the days following?  How do you manage a full "holiday season" of temptations?

What about learning be be a little kinder to yourself -- do you think that would help? 

(MM is NODDING YES, BECAUSE, YES!  Because... yes.)  And, in our weight loss surgery community, THERE IS A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT OF SELF-LOATHING in regards to choices one makes.

I am bad in a whole lot of people's eyes in our community, for a variety of reasons and also because:  I have a logo that contains THE INSINUATION OF A CUPCAKE, y'all.  Food is not bad.  People are not bad.  It's all choices and how you handle situations.  /end rant

Take this quiz from Jean Fain, that I found on HuffPo this morning:

The Self-Compassionate Eating Quiz

This quiz measures your current state of self-compassion by helping you assess your mental, emotional, and physical reaction to diet, weight, and body image. When you can find a quiet moment away from distractions, take a pen or pencil and sit down to reflect on how compassionate you are toward yourself.

Check eight statements that come closest to reflecting your general experience. That is, they should reflect how you most often feel in the situation described.

___ 1. When I eat something "bad," like a donut, I can't stop thinking about how I've blown it.
___ 2. After an indulgent weekend, I trust myself to rein in my eating.
___ 3. I often feel alone with my eating issues, but I know I'm not.
___ 4. When I eat junk food, I try not to beat myself up too much.
___ 5. I may feel uncomfortable if I'm bloated or a few pounds heavier, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying social activities.
___ 6. I might never love my body, but I know I'd like it better 10 pounds lighter.
___ 7. No one struggles with eating like I do.
___ 8. I don't trust myself to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full, but I'd like to learn.
___ 9. I can get down on myself when I'm bloated or a few pounds heavier, but I'll still go out in baggy clothes.
___ 10. Paying attention to my hunger makes me want to eat, so I try to ignore it.
___ 11. I'm always interested in what my body has to say about hunger and fullness.
___ 12. If I lose one to two pounds per week, I'll never reach my goal weight.
___ 13. I'd like to jumpstart my weight loss with a crash diet and then eat healthfully.
___ 14. I didn't stick to my eating plan the whole weekend; all my weight-loss efforts are for nothing.
___ 15. When I eat something less than healthful, I try to savor it all the same.
___ 16. I really indulged myself over the weekend; I'm afraid to step on the scale.
___ 17. When I feel bloated or especially fat, I won't leave the house.
___ 18. After overeating, I feel like punishing myself, but I know restricting and purging only make me feel worse.
___ 19. Overeating is a signal to care for myself more, not less.
___ 20. After I overeat, self-punishment (restricting food intake and/or purging, vomiting, or over-exercising) is the only thing that makes me feel better.
___ 21. My weight takes care of itself when I feed myself delicious, nutritious food.
___ 22. When I'm overweight, I feel gross; I hate my body.
___ 23. Everybody overeats and feels stuffed on occasion.
___ 24. I love and respect my body.

Scoring Sheet

Give yourself 1 point per statement for checking any of the following:
1, 7, 10, 12, 14, 17, 20, 22.
Subtotal: _______

Give yourself 2 points per statement for checking any of the following:
3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 13, 16, 18.
Subtotal: _______

Give yourself 3 points per statement for checking any of the following:
2, 5, 11, 15, 19, 21, 23, 24.
Subtotal: _______

Total Score: _____ Date: _____ / _____ / _____

Your Score and What to Make Of It

When it comes to self-compassion, 0-8 means you're sorely lacking, and you seriously need to go easier on yourself; 9-16, you've got some, but you could use some more; 17-24, you've got way more than the average American dieter, so you're in good shape. However, you can never have too much self-compassion.

Even if you're already pretty kind to yourself, know that even a slight increase in self-compassion can brighten your worldview, give you more emotional balance, help you get a handle on your eating and facilitate sustainable weight loss. (That is, if you are trying to lose weight.)

 

• Watch this YouTube video.
• Source - Huffington Post

How To Avoid or Eat The Food Pushers Today!

Sparkpeople put out a list -- "11 Nice Ways to Say 'No' to Food Pushers" -- some of These People which you may be sitting with Right Now, eh?

"Oh, honey, please have just a bite."

How do you TELL GRANDMA NO?"

I'll add a few choice statements, please tell me some of the winners you've heard in the comments:  

• "Honey, just try this, I made it FOR YOU!" 
• "But -- It's sugar free!" 
• "Didn't you love this before your surgery?"
• "I thought you loved me. Just try it."  (Feel free to slap this one.)
• "But, it's only a little sugar."
• "A drink won't hurt you."
• "Just two bites?"
• "COME ON."
• "You just have to have to have some of this..."
• "I thought you said you could eat this?"
• "You need the calories."
• etc, etc... and these from Sparkpeople

The Push: "It's my specialty, you have to try it!"

Your Response: "I will in a bit!"

Why It Works: Stalling is a great tactic with food pushers. Odds are the offender won't follow you around making sure you actually try the dish. If they catch up with you by the end of the party to ask what you thought, tell them that it slipped your mind but you'll be sure to try it next time.

 
The Push: "This [insert name of high-calorie dish] is my favorite. You'll love it!"

Your Response: "I had some already—so delicious!"

Why It Works: A white lie in this situation isn't going to hurt anybody. You'll get out of eating food you don't want or need, and the food pusher will have gotten a compliment on what probably is a delicious dish.

 
The Push: "It's just once a year!"

Your Response: "But I'll probably live to celebrate more holidays if I stick with my diet plan!"

Why It Works: People can sometimes see healthy eating as vain—a means to the end result of losing weight and looking better. It's harder for a food pusher to argue with you if you bring attention to the fact that you eat right and exercise for better health and a longer life. Looking good just happens to be a side effect!

 
The Push: "Looks like someone is obsessed with dieting…"

Your Response: "I wouldn't say obsessed, but I am conscious of what I eat."

Why It Works: Words like "food snob" or "obsessed" are pretty harsh when they're thrown around by food pushers. But don't let passive-aggressive comments like this bring you down—or make you veer away from your good eating intentions. Acknowledging your willpower and healthy food choices might influence others to be more conscious of what they eat. Sometimes you just have to combat food pushers with a little straightforward kindness.

 
The Push: "If you don't try my dish, I'm just going to have to force you to eat it!"

Your Response: "Sorry, but I don't like (or can't eat) [insert ingredient here]."

Why It Works: It's hard to argue with someone's personal food preferences. If someone doesn't like an ingredient whether its sweet potatoes, pumpkin, or butter, odds are that he or she hasn't liked it for a very long time. If you'd like to get creative with this one, go into detail about how you got sick on the ingredient as a kid or how your mom says you always threw it across the room as a baby. Who can argue with that?

 
The Push: "You need some meat on your bones."

Your Response: "Trust me, I'm in no danger of wasting away!"

Why It Works: This food push is definitely on the passive-aggressive side. Using humor to fight back will defuse any tension while making it clear where you stand. 

 
The Push: "One bite isn't going to kill you."

Your Response: "I know, but once you pop you can't stop! And I'm sure it's so delicious I wouldn't be able to stop!"

Why It Works: This is another situation where humor will serve to distract the food pusher from his or her mission. It's a way to say "thanks, but no thanks" while making it clear that you're not interested in overindulging.

 
The Push: "But it's your favorite!"

Your Response: "I think I've overdosed on it; I just can't eat it anymore!"

Why It Works: If you have a favorite holiday dish that everyone knows you love, it can be especially tough to escape this push. If a loved one made the dish specifically for you, the guilt can be enough to push you over the edge. But people understand that food preferences change, and most have been in that situation of enjoying a dish so much that they can't touch it for awhile.

 
The Push: [Someone puts an extra helping on your plate without you asking.]

Your Response: Push it around with your fork like you did as a kid to make it look like you tried it.

Why It Works: While putting food on someone else's plate can be viewed as passive-aggressive, it was probably done with love. (Let's hope!) Making it look like you ate a bite or two can be an easy way out of the situation, but you can also just leave it alone and claim that you've already had your fill. (After all, you didn't add that extra helping!)

 
The Push: "Have another drink!"

Your Response: "I have to drive."

Why It Works: No one will argue with the fact that you want to drive home sober. If they do, you should have no qualms walking away from the conversation, period. If they offer a place for you to stay, you can always get out of the situation by blaming an early morning commitment or the fact that you need to get home to let the dog out. Kids will also get you out of everything.

 
The Push: "We have so many leftovers. Take some!"

Your Response: "That's OK! Just think, you'll have your meals for tomorrow taken care of."

Why It Works: Not every party guest wants to deal with the hassle of taking food with them, and this makes it clear that you'd rather the food stay. If the host is insistent, you can feign worry that they'll go bad in the car because you're not going straight home, or it'll go bad in your fridge because you've already been given so many leftovers at other parties recently. Or be polite and take them. You'll have more control of your food intake away from the party anyway. So whether you don't eat the leftovers at all or whether you split a piece of pie with your spouse, you're in control in this situation.

__________________________________________________________

It's YOUR body.  You don't HAVE TO do anything you don't want to.  If the situation becomes overwhelming, remove yourself.  -MM

Basic Sugar Free Cranberry Sauce

Ingredients:

• 1 bag of fresh cranberries (12 oz)
• Sugar substitute equal to 1 cup sugar or liquid SPLENDA/SUCRALOSE
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Preparation:

1. Rinse cranberries in a colander, and place in a pot.

2. Add the rest of the ingredients, stir, and bring to a boil on medium-high heat.

3. Stir frequently. The cranberries will pop -- create a gel-like consistency -- and it makes itself!

Cook until the sauce is the consistency you want, about 5 to 10 minutes.

Makes 8 servings of cranberry sauce, each approximately 1/4 cup.

Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy.

It's a little weird this year, I haven't been holiday shopping at all.  "Santa" has made a few online orders that have started trickling in from UPS, and it's a surprise to me too, because I didn't pick out any of this stuff.  I think the Mrs. needs to have a little chat with the fat guy in the red.  "Santa" apparently chooses toys and gifts that require batteries or plugs.  "Santa" likes video games.  "Mrs. Claus" doesn't.  Mrs. Claus doesn't think the kids need an X-Box, because the PS2 is perfectly acceptable and they got that only last year.  The boy child also tends to take over these sort of gifts, and will claim the XBox "his own."  Mrs. Claus sees this opportunity for a fight that will repeat itself over and over again, even if the system is only used in the family TV area.  But, what does she know, she's only here to bake cookies and make Santa fat.

The boy has ideas about what he'd like for Christmas.  He made a list.  Oh Yes He Made A List.  Last night I asked him to translate a few of the entries onto new letters for each grandmother.  Both grandmas have asked for ideas for the kids, and he was perfectly happy to write them a little note about what he'd like from them, you know, just an idea.  This is what he wrote to my mom (Meem, take note, cuz here it is)  "Sims 2 Pets African SaFarI and 1,000 Feet Walkie Talcky"  And for the other Meem, here's her list:  "Battele the bad guys with miistick fers Power Rangurs, Morfunaadur, Storm Lanckur."  If you can translate this (I can), there ya go, that's it for him.  I'll leave the other four hundred suggestions to you, they are all on the List.  The girls?  They would like "surprises."  The oldest doesn't like toys, and won't tell me what she wants.  The four year old would like "everything."  The baby hasn't said much, but she could use a highchair for later on, and clothing, size 3/6 months for the winter.

Your heart is full of unwashed socks.

Welcome to the season of Grinch!  I'm not in love with the holiday season - I get all a twitter about spending money.  (On that note - I saw a blip about "money = happiness" rumors being debunked, and you know I must read this, because nearly all of my current issues in life are one hundred percent traced back to money.) 

Back to the season:  My kids still believe that I let a morbidly obese man in a red suit shut off our house burgulary alarm and come in to give them gifts.  They've always wondered how it was that this big chubby guy was to get into (any) of our houses, since we've never had a chimney that led to a fireplace.  So, he must "know the code to shut of the alarm, right?"  Sure.  Not only that, but sometimes grandmas give insane amounts of presents and write "From Santa" on the tags.  "But, wait, we don't live here?"  It will be less stressful on me when they no longer have the Santa ideal in their little heads, because then they know - Mom & Dad have limits.  Santa is "magic" and can bring wishes, right?  So you can't really put a huge limit on his budget.  (At least, that's what I'll say when circling the diamond stud earrings & anniversary right hand ring out of the Zales catalog for my Santa list.)

Holiday Eating Strategy

I'm sitting here whilst the bird cooks - and blog browsing.  Jen @ Hot Fat 4 Sale has a nifty little strategy for getting through the holiday eating today.  This is deliciously SIMPLE!

From Jen's blog:

"I’m going to put 3 oz. of turkey on my plate—what I’d normally allow myself for a protein serving at any meal. And then I’m allowing myself two bites of any food that’s on the table that I want to eat. My first bite is going to be to see if I like it, need it, want it, crave it, hate it, etc. The second bite is to savor it or say goodbye to it. I don’t need a third bite. I’ll already know what it will taste likes and the third bit won’t taste any better than the first two.

I’m also asking my mom to set my place at the table with a small plate (just like I use at home) and give me the smaller dessert fork to use. Plus, I’m taking my own dessert. When I’m done eating, I’m getting up and taking my plate and silverware into the kitchen.

Since we’re eating at 3 p.m., I’m planning on a substantial morning protein shake, my usual coffee and some beef jerky for the ride up. It’s all I will need.

This plan will give me the permission to taste whatever I want with the parameters to keep me from overeating. I’ve got my fingers crossed."

Happy Tryptophan Day.

Have a happy turkey day, all.  Eat too much and take a nap, would ya?  Olive tray, here I come.

 

:digs self out of pile of plastic grass and chocolate in various forms::

Early yesterday morning, I woke up egg-stra early (ha-ha, right?) and made like a good bunny and inadvertantly woke a few children up. My oldest decided to let the others know, "Psst, wake up, the Eastah Bunny came!" They ran down around the house, finding all the plastic eggs that came magically pre-filled, and then to their goodies. After dumping the contents of their various buckets, the little (big) one gave us a fashion show.

C got a Peep'ed out bucket, and was perfectly thrilled with that, she's a collector of Peeps in various forms. 

Then, after a nice Sunday drive, we went to the in-laws house for a sick egg hunt.  There had to be a hundred eggs in the yard.

If that wasn't enough sugar, we also celebrated the boy's birthday. He's now, like, all growed up and stuff.

From Flickr: Valentine Favorites, Where's Beth?

Valentine Favorites
Originally uploaded by Distant Eye.

Hey, I'm in it, twice!

My Funny Valentine

I was just serenaded! The South Shore Men Of Harmony's Barbershop Quartet came to my house and sang to me. They sang "Heart of my Heart" & another old-fashioned love song.  They brought me a single-stem rose, and took a polaroid photo and presented it to me in a card.  It was amazing.  I was actually on the phone with Bob when they arrived, so I put the phone down and let him listen in.  This would be a very cool Valentine for your Valentine next year - if you're local.  Otherwise, look up a group in your area, it's worth it. Click on the photos for more.  If I could have figured out that I should have had the mp3 player set up to record, I'd have shared that here too.

What did my Valentine get?  Sorry to say, not much, but I'll make it up by his birthday.  It's weird spending his money on him (since I'm not working yet) - so I just got him a silly pair of heart patterned boxer shorts, a CD, and card.

I Heart No Chocolate.

Happy Heart Day Internet. 

I wish you lots of flowers and chocolate.  Or, maybe not the chocolate, unless you really need the chocolate and you're keeping it away from me because I don't need any chocolate.  Thanks.  I remember making this post last year on Valentines' Day - stating how I hoped that I wouldn't recieve any candy - and he came home with candy.  This year, I'm getting something different.  I'm going to take photos because you'll get a kick out of it.  (No, not those kind of photos you pervert.) 

I'll share my Valentines' if you share yours!  What did you recieve from your Valentine this year?  Comment to this post.