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Old lady.

Bachelorette party this afternoon, the photos aren't very appropriate.  (No, no nakey mens, just toys.)  But, I am posting rather, to say I ate a brownie in the shape of a peni, washed it down with beer.  Yum.  That's a good rule following girl.  Though, as everyone continued to party, my SIL and I went home to the babies.  We're old.  LOL.

Back to regularly non-scheduled posting tomorrow.

Continue reading "Old lady." »

Didn't happen.

The walking, like exercise type WALKING.  Instead, Dad was home and we headed to the ocean because it seemed REALLY warm outside.  Not so much, it was freezing with the wind.  We lasted just a few minutes and did errands instead.

Click to see these full-size.


It's time for new specs again.  I am entirely sick of looking at these.  They are scratched to hell, falling down my nose.

I am hoping to grab my RX from last year,  and go elsewhere to buy glasses.  I would like to pay less, and maybe get two pairs.  I am also going to order some contacts, to have.  I refuse to wear them on a daily basis, but to have, they're nice.

It's difficult to pick frames online - when you can't try them on.

School vacation, stuck style.


The eldest child has had sleepovers, so she wasn't here. (I am trying to figure my camera out. It's still going to take some serious time.)

So, when stuck in the house during Winter Vacation, what to do?

You would not believe how many Legos are in my house.

Or you could pick your nose:

She was picking her nose.  I missed it.

There's always Club Penguin:

School vacation.


kitty porn to start your day?

DSC_0651 DSC_0653 DSC_0656 DSC_0646
There is one thing I like about this house.  We get a great sunrise and sunset.  This morning, I caught the sun through some great icicles off my bedroom window, and went to get the camera.  The cat, noticed me opening the window and thought maybe she might watch the chickadees on the tree right outside.  She was very intent on watching that tree until I shut the window.  This is our first totally indoor cat.  I hate having an indoor cat, however our last cat never came home.  *sniff*  We still think he got eaten by a bigger animal.

Throwing a question to the internet.

Longest run on sentence to follow:  If you were me - and wanted to get the most bang for the proverbial buck out of college either online entirely or a combination of online and some actual in school classes at my Advanced Age (I know, but it still seems weird doing this nine years after my peer group has graduated) and lack of attention span...

Actual question to follow:  What would you choose as a 'major'

Photography is pretty much OUT of the question.  It would be lovely, but, not practical.  Yes, it's what I wanted" but the program is in Boston or surrounding areas, and $22,000.  I can't get there.  I plan to take some courses in photography, just to learn, because I really do want to learn.

I am limited, because it has to be online.  (I cannot drive for at least another six months.  If I could, I would prefer to GO to school at least half-time, and I would put the toddler terror in day care while I took some classes.) 

For me, to open doors, to get 'work,' as an employer, what would make me marketable to YOU?  Many of you are working for big companies, colleges and some own your own businesses.  What are you looking for?  What do you need?

Keep in mind, I may not be actually going to work for anyone, at least not in the typical daily grind fashion, but I need to somehow make a living on my own just the same.  It occurred to me (not all of a sudden, but, you know...) that I have been idling for years, and if Mr. MM were to lose his job, or be no longer around, What In The Hell Would I Do?  Right?  Right.

If you were going to hire me, to ____________.   What do you want me to know?  What do I need to go to school for?  I understand it's not necessary.  I understand many people are perfectly successful without college degrees.  (But, I also am watching first-hand how someone is told over and over again that he would be already advanced to the next step if that degree was in hand.  He's 1.9 years into the 4 year degree.)  But - I am home.  I am unable to create a resume without jobs.  Education might help.

So?  Your thoughts? 

PS.  Before anybody suggests it - my mind will not be agreeable to anything technical.  I see this, and think, well, lovely!   Eh, no.  I have ZERO INTEREST in delving into learning how to build websites and whatnot, although it would be wonderful to have that in my brain, I do not think I will get through it without imploding.  My neurons do not fire properly.  I think I am asking for trouble with coding, numbers, flash, etc.  No thanks. 

Don't cross your fingers.


...because layoffs are on the way.   It was leaked to the media, and a letter followed to his email this afternoon.   Swing those chickens, fry them.  Do whatever it takes.  I can only hope that since he's on the other end of the spectrum, meaning low man on the list, he will not be effected by this.

Especially when your Mama isn't driving for another six months.  Shoot me now.  The wait-list for options at "voc-rehab" was until this December, perhaps they'll have some ideas, aside from telling me to apply for disability.   I already tried that.

I'm not dis-abled.  But working out of the house is just not happening with four kids and not driving.  Daddy needs his job.  This cannot happen.

happy birthday jennifer!

Red Balloon.
I have a little present for you at home, I'll bring it when I see ya next if I can find it seeing as my belongings are currently in a truck going down RT 3, without me!  SCORE.  Anyway!  Have a fantasmic day (off?) and have a fucking cupcake  do not drive hypoglycemic, and enjoy your frosting.  *grin*  I see good things in my crystal ball for you this year.



That isn't the case anymore.  I haven't traveled mainly because we haven't had the time or money to do so.  We have not had a vacation at all in years.  My husband's job actually rewards a job well done each year (SALES) with a trip to a warm tropical locale.  We have yet to go.

In two weeks I have to get on a plane, probably by myself for the first time in ten years.  We were trying to work it out that Mr. MM could come along, but it's just not working out time off and babysitters would be a bit nuts.   I think he's terrified of being social even with peers, I think former fat people scare him.


Red Balloon.

Today was a 50th birthday party.  Lots of cake and food, threatened to send one kid to boot camp, okay, it was two, but, they were bickering over goggles that didn't even belong to them.  These things - parties - the food - overwhelming!  I realize that I have a teeny tiny capacity and I just do not "enjoy" the gorging that I might if I still could, but even now, the excess at parties and events and overflow of food and drink makes me think of all the waste - and someone else's hard earned money going to waste - and I don't know why it bugs me but it does. 

Um.  What else?  I am waiting on the neurologist's okay via email to end the Keppra medication, because I already did.  I ran out of pills and emailed him to renew the RX and asked if it was just as well to end it because it made me a fucking zombie.  And, before you freak out and tell me that Is Not Okay And That I Am Going To Die Now?  I know he is going to tell me to quit the meds, and I have to re-order them via Medco mail-order - which would take a day or three under emergency shipment anyway.  I am still on Topamax, anyway.

So, if you see me wogging a 5K tomorrow about 11am?  You know it worked for me.  I HAVE NOT WALKED IN SIX WEEKS.  Well, there was that one day.


Last night we went to a pre-labor (that sounds funny, like we should be actively pushing now) day cookout and for once, I did not have my camera.  I could have used it.  We saw a most gorgeous specimen of Motivational Housing if I needed one.  Sure, the house we went to was most lovely, and she's installing all of her own mouldings and tiles and she's like Mrs. Bob Vila, and I told her that, so tell me again WHY DO YOU WORK IN SUCH A NORMAL JOB?  (Hi.)

The house next to hers is on the market.  Even if it's never even a remote possibility, nor do I really want to live in that direction, I always have the sick real estate bug.  Yes, I went to Real Estate School, because, I wanted to learn how.  This house, is literally more than three times the size of my current home.  I could turn cartwheels in the bathroom(s), I could build a studio/office/playroom/dance hall in the third floor, garage OR basement.  We have NONE OF THOSE things in this house.  No useable attic, no useable basement or garage, in fact, we don't even have a living room, well, we do, we just don't have space to have one set up right now it's currently used as our dining area/office.  Our living room TV is in my bedroom, yeah, that has worked out well, because now nobody really watches TV anymore, having a 42 inch plasma in a 12 foot room is nice, but, WTF, no TV.   

We don't have a couch, or anyplace for you to sit if you come over, there's just no room.  My house is like that scene from Alice in Wonderland, "NO ROOM, NO ROOM!"

Luckily, I am not a packrat, and I throw EVERYTHING AWAY, so it's always clean.  (Please don't read this if I ever am trying to sell you my house.  If we put it back on the market, it would be be the third? time.  I know we bought it because it looked big enough because only one woman lived here when we viewed it.  It's funny how that works.)

We got to go in to the newly built house,  and my kids picked out their respective rooms.  "I'll take this one, and you can have this one, and O M G, it's got HOW MANY BATHROOMS?!"

I guess to make this more positive, it made me think about what I could DO with a place like that.  Okay, maybe not me directly, because I am NOT Mrs. Bob Vila, nor is the Mr. but we could really, really, really use some square feet, man. 

I don't even care about the fucking upgrades.  I do not need fancy.  I can add fancy later if money falls off of a tree out back.  We've spent $50,000+ on this house, and they ain't no fancy round heah. 

I just want to be able to LAY ON THE FLOOR LIKE A STARFISH IF I WANT TO.   I can't do that in any of my rooms.  I am not being sarcastic.

Sappy Anniversary.

My parents got us tickets to see Vince Gill (and a bonus concert tonight, for Chris Isaak) for what we all thought was our ten-year wedding anniversary.  (I can't embed Vince Gill videos - they are blocked - so here.)

Mr. Isaak is here:

But, when I got my fingers out and counted, turns out, it's not, it's only nine years.  How do I know this?  We, being the "trashy" people we are?  We had two of our own out-of-wedlock babies at our wedding, aged four months and twenty-two months in August of 1999.

August 1999 - Bridezilla

(I think C + T resemble each other.)



In fact, the only reason we got hitched then, was because that post baby number two out of wedlock guilt kicked in, and the grandmothers scraped cash together and paid for our wedding.  If they had not done so, we probably would still not be married, because we were going to "wait," until we could afford to you know, "do it all."  And, Mr. MM is very "bankerish,"you know," and doesn't spend money on things that are not tangible.  (Although part of me says, "why didn't we" because I could have gotten college paid for, but whatever.)

Do you take this woman to be your chubby bride?

Our wedding.

September 1999

The plan was, in my head, to re-do, or re-new at ten years with completely non-traditional ceremony (that means non-religious, on the beach, and party afterwards!)  I thought I missed the boat when I thought this was ten years this month.  I was off by a year, so I have a while.  If it's possible, the party is on for next August.  Otherwise, if we don't kill each other, I will aim for 15 years.

Ain't worth the gas.

Girls always enjoy a little pampering.

Last night we took a quick ride to the beach, my thought was, going really late would save us the parking cost!  No deal.  Pulling in, the woman in a bikini informs us that,

"It's ten dollars to park, regardless of what time you get here, and you can come in but you are risking a ticket."



I see her turn around, and realize she is radio'ed *directly to the police* and WOULD immediately have us ticketed if we parked even for five minutes.  So, I say to her (because it was the truth, we were just at the garden shop, and left because their credit machine was down, and I couldn't buy my damn herbs that I wanted, and they didn't have an ATM nearby...)

"We have no cash, I thought you didn't have to pay after 5 or 6pm, and we aren't swimming, we were going to comb for rocks and take some pictures, (I gesture at the kids in the back seat), and it's after 6pm, you mean to tell me I have to pay ten bucks to park my car in an empty lot for one hour to walk the beach and leave?"

"Feel free to drive in, but you will get a ticket." (I know she probably hears this shit all day long.)

Biznitch, meant in the nicest way.  I am sure she had been in the sun for hours and was fried.

So, Bob pulled in and we pulled out.  We went down further to an area that has a "two hour" free on street parking where you have to walk to the beach and drag all your crap, but since we weren't going to swim it was no big deal. 

Okay, maybe one of us got a little wet.

I mean, I am sure we created ten dollars worth of damage to Massachusetts' coastline in 45 minutes yesterday.

I did this, I'm very sorry.

GRAFFITI!  Arrest me now.


In fact, in forty-five minutes, we found ONE SHELL, and TOOK IT HOME.

we found one, shell.

Maybe we even pooped on the beach?

Celebrate Your Hero Dunkin Donuts Gift Card For Father's Day (Designed by my Aunt!)

How cool is this

Wicked cool, because my aunt created the art on it, she won Dunkin Donuts"Celebrate Your Hero" Contest, and they've featured her work on this limited edition rechargeable gift card that you can buy online.  For each card purchased in May and June, $1 is donated to charity.


We're fine.  The truck?  Not so much.

The insurance company "totaled" the truck.  Now please hope that things work out that I can get another good vehicle.  The bank note will be paid first, and then they cut us a check for the remainder of it's worth.  This was a 2006 Dodge Ram 2500 5.7L, but a very standard version. (Beth doesn't really know cars, so deal with my description.)  She's (the truck was a girl) a goner now.

I forgot to grab the air freshener.  It was my favorite, even with no smell.  It read:  "Loose, fast and out of control," with a retro woman smoking a cigarette.  Well, in the end it was out of control, but, sort of slow. 

I took Bob by the yard today where I went off the road, and he was all, "What. The. Hell?  I thought you said you got stuck on a rock-wall!?"  I did - but - the wall was a decorative retaining wall that happened to be a few feet from a house, which was also about 75 feet from the road I spun off of.  As we looked at the yard, we realized that I was really lucky, considering I missed crashing full-force into three stationary objects, first I killed a big evergreen tree, then, I hit the oak tree and kept sliding, and ended up on TOP of the rock wall. 

We went to remove the plates and check the truck for any leftover personal belongings, and the bags of missing grocery items I still can't find.  I don't know how we lost several bags of food and household stuff, but it pisses me off because I spent $280.00 that day on prescriptions, food, baby stuff and non-perishable things, and I've lost about $100.00 worth of items between the crash - moving things to another vehicle and here.  Someone told me to itemize the losses for the insurer - but the insurance company told me to stuff it - they don't cover personal property.  Whatever, it's no biggie, I just hate that I lost this stuff, I paid for it with my own money, damn it!

Anyhow - I do not know how long this part takes, paying the bank, releasing the title - and getting money towards another vehicle.  I still need a car large enough to tote around myself and four kids at the minimum, and ultimately to fit two adults, four kids and $250.00 worth of groceries at times.  The truck was just big enough with the quad cab to do just that, but I hated the wasted space of the bed, which we never used, except while camping.  I DESPISE mini-vans, and would prefer to never see one again, but - of course they have the seating part covered.  I would prefer something heavy-duty again, with enough seating for everybody that used less gas, but doesn't make us feel like clowns stuffed in a clown car.  A hybrid, would be ultimate, you know, if I had $40,000 growing out of my butt.

We like, totally almost died, yo.

*If you're my mother and you're reading this: No, I didn't call you when this happened, because I was too busy blaming Bob and calling AAA to save us.

Unrelated to what I'm about to tell you - but I do have to share something first because I just remembered it and I have an ADHD brain that remembers and forgets things like a pasta drainer.  We were at a family Christmahanukwanzahah get together last night, and MIL shares that:

"We were laughing like hell at you last night." 

Err, okay, thanks.  I'm used to it, but why last night, what in the heck did I do, I wasn't there?

"So, we're all there, reading your blawwwg, about, you know, Wal-Mart, and we're laughing our asses off."

Yanno, when stuff happens around me -  it ain't funny - till later, when I'm telling the internetz a story or even better, in person and they're all, "Oh mah goodness!"

I get it - poop happens to me and around me that might be your general run of the mill boring poop - but when it happens to me?  It's hella funny!

fake needles

So, we like, totally almost died today. 

No offense to you if you're currently serving house arrest for DUI or something,  I'm serious.  We had to trek through the blizzard this morning to drop of something I mistakenly brought home from work last night (no, not the espresso machine, it won't fit in my purse) so we took my big 4X4 honkin' hillbilly truck to be "safe."

You see where this is going, eh?  Don't scroll ahead.

We're one mile from my house - and we're discussing the safety of driving in bad weather conditions, and how it's better that we're in a truck, and we're going slow, and that we've never really had a problem yet, and....


And then, we're spinning halfway around in our big safe truck, and I'm screaming, "OH MY GAWD, WE'RE GON DIE NOW!"  Bob is laughing inappropriately, because, he totally thinks he's got a handle on the situation, and soon realizes, "We're not stooooooooooooooping!"  My daughter said later, that we were "On two wheels!"

We twirl off the side of the road, into a snowbank and we're stopped from going any further due to a gulley and a small hill.  We only came off he road about 8-10 feet, but, we got stuck.  Had there been open space, we would have kept going into the grass, or into someone's living room.  The snow is up to our doors in our very big truck, and I decide to get up and say, "Let's just sit here for a moment and think about this."  Bob is wearing my entire soy cappuccino on his legs but doesn't feel it.  He's still nervously laughing and fidgeting and asking for the phone - to call "AAA, you know, for a tow, this is no big deal."

I may have said, "Don't you DARE call family, do you know how embarrassing this is?"  (Now, even better - on the internet.)

People drive by - repeatedly and often.  No one stops, no one offers to lend a hand or make a phone call.  (Stupid ****ing snobs.)  One younger guy shows up in his Patriots sweats, on his way to watch the game at a friends' house - and asks to help.  He and Bob try to push me into the road while I gun the engine in reverse, drive, reverse... we're stuck.  The guy leaves to get a chain, and Bob wiggles and guns the truck back to the street - and we were saved - just as I get help on the phone with AAA who wants blood types and firstborn children to send out assistance.

We're alive, I didn't pee my pants like I thought I would in a near emergency car situation, and It Was So Not My Fault.  HA.

This was just after, note that he's soaked.

right after he drove us into a snowbank.

Accidentally early Christmas Presents.

The other day I came home to a box on the front steps - which I opened - and apparently found my own Christmas present. 

I just went ahead and set it up and used it, seeing as the surprise was already gone.  Honestly, there really wasn't any surprise seeing as the kids told me that "Daddy ordered you a present and it's not a coffeemaker."  Really?  So, I have a new baby Keurig.  (The last one we got two years ago, I broke a while back.)  I'll review it, because, I love me some Keurig. 

That day, in the mail, we also got a notice that our former mortgage holder had been hand-slapped for screwing folks with "origination fees" and that we were to receive a check for $3,000 as retribution. I thought it was fake, and told Bob to be careful, "don't you dare give any personal information out regarding this!" Turns out, it's legit, and we will get a fat check at some point. That surely will help come winter when we're paying down credit cards and getting everything back down where it should be. Of course, tax season is also upon us, which really saves us every year - with all our little deductions running around - we (or more appropriately HE, seeing as I have only worked very sporadically until the past few months) always get a fat return to pay off bills. It feels good to get things more manageable. I keep hoping that I can find a big-girl job soon. The nugget is nearly "old enough" to go to toddler daycare - which is much less expensive and would allow me to work in a more "normal" situation. I applied for two jobs yesterday, one as a HR assistant at a local hospital, and one as a Administrative assistant for a non-profit special needs facility. Very unlikely that I'd hear from either, but - I'm shooting darts at this point.