Optimum Nutrition Protein Cake Bites

There was a time, long long ago, where I'd buy a bag of glazed mini-donuts and They Were My Crack.  That waxy chocolate covering -- and cakey interior -- a carby, sugary calorie death.

This is not that product.  That is what triggered me to PICK IT UP.

These "Protein Cake Bites" look suspiciously like a carby-sweet product on the packaging, but I'm going to tell you IT IS A TRICK.

What I found were miniature waxy glazed protein pucks.  The outside is a white yogurt covering with sprinkles, leading to a thick and pasty protein center.  (Not cake. Disappointment.)  It is like you took two scoops of protein, pressed them in an espresso maker with ... oil.  Maybe that's cake enough for you?   

The nutrition, better than cake.  Protein *first*, anyway.  Twenty grams of the stuff - if you eat all 240 calories and three pucks.  I do not feel I could eat more than one at a time, texturally it was a difficult sell.

I had one last night, one in the middle of the night and threw the last away.

For what it's worth, these are better as a snack in the middle of the night than something else (...even if it's not my thing) I might have sitting bedside.  I always have bedside OMG LOW BLOOD SUGAR snacks. They'd probably last a year.  

I have some other flavors to try and for photographing.  I'm a little disappointed because I wanted to enjoy these more.  YouTube told me I should.  

• Product - Optimum Nutrition Protein Cake Bites
• Price - About $2.10 per pack 
• Purchased - Local GNC, here's an Amazon link.
• Pros - Pretty little package, the graphic initially reminded me of donuts from 15 years ago, **sprinkles**, three separate protein snacks in one sleeve, a good to-go shove in your bag snack, 20 grams protein
• Cons - I can't with the texture.  Lots of carbohydrates if you're counting.
• Rating - Pending, based on the next flavor I try.  Maybe this was an off pack?

Mini product pre-review because I do things like that because babies suck the life out of you and we're not sleeping ever.

Bariatric Advantage Multi Chewy Bite Strawberry Watermelon

I tore into this package IN PARTICULAR out of all the bags that came my way - and all I am going to say right now because I am sleep deprived and losing my mind is Y - E - S.  

These little foil-wrapped multivitamin chews may very well solve my problems and save the world.  (Am I allowed to say that?  I DON'T CARE.  I AM TIRED.)

Bariatric Advantage?  Please create caffeine vitamins so that future reviews make sense.  

These little fruity-chew-Starburst-esque bites have nearly all the multivitamins a bariatric patient needs, in two chews.  They ARE Starburst-esque.  You unwrap a little square of fruit "candy" out of shiny foil wrapper, and it's reminiscent of candy, just slightly.  The taste is at first, berry, then watermelon.  There is a slight touch of vitamin, but not much as it's masked greatly by the fruit flavorings.  The taste profiles have improved a lot in the last few years.  

Check it out:

Multi Chewy Bites have been formulated to deliver a spectrum of essential nutrients to help address nutrient deficiencies common with pre- and post-surgery bariatric patients.* Available in two great flavors: Dark Cherry and Strawberry Watermelon. Individually wrapped in 60-count bags.

Key Features:

• Delivers 200% or more of the daily value on 16 key nutrients including:
• 5,000 IU of Vitamin A
• 3,000 IU of Vitamin D in D3 form—the preferred form of Vitamin D
• All B vitamins including 1,000 mcg Vitamin B12, 3 mg B1, and Folate
• Meets or exceeds American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric Surgery (ASMBS) guidelines—the foremost authority on bariatric science and nutrition

I am impressed.

• Product - Bariatric Advantage Multi Chewy Bites Strawberry Watermelon
• Via - Bariatric Advantage (Listed in the left hand sidebar under "New Multivitamins" 2/2017)
• Pros - Starburst-esque chews that are super easy to take, before AND after your weight loss surgery. 
• Cons - If you can't control yourself with chews, these ARE vitamins.  REMEMBER THAT.
• Rating - Pouchworthy

 

 

 

Proti Wafers Review

If you have been following me since Ye Olden Days Of WLS  (I had roux en y gastric bypass in 2004, and I've blogged and been on social media since 2005), you will know this is my second go 'round with this product.  (Or here is to hoping it is the same product I adored back in days of old.)

Proti Wafers.  I think I called them "Sugar Wafers, Only Better" in my very first review which I can no longer find.  

Sent to me from netrition, I have a box of Proti Wafers in my choice - vanilla.

Netrition's site reads:

Proti Nutrition Proti Wafer Squares are great tasting, high protein squares that will satisfy your hunger. Proti Squares offer a rich taste at 200-210 calories a serving.

The stats -

Ingredients: Protein blend (milk protein isolate, hydrolyzed gelatin, whey protein isolate, pea protein isolate), wheat flour, fractionated palm and palm kernel oil, sugar, fructose, milk ingredients (skim milk powder, while milk powder, butter fat), cocoa butter, unsweetened chocolate, soy lecithin, soy flour, sunflower oil, water, natural and artificial flavors, salt, sodium bicarbonate, sucralose (non-nutritive sweetener), corn flour.

In each box, you receive five packs of two wafer-bars.  Each packet contains two wafers.  

The best way to describe these bars:  old-fashioned sugar wafers.  I can't think of anything else when biting into them.  Except these have a chocolate base, and a chocolate drizzle, dressed much fancier than the stacks of sugar-cookies I ate as a kid.  

The biggest difference?  These pack 15 grams of protein per 200 calorie serving.  That's pretty super for a snack food.  Early in my weight loss surgery life, I will admit to being psychotically wary of the carbohydrate, fat and sugar content of this product, but now, I find it is a great balance.   

• Product - Proti Nutrition Proti Wafers, Vanilla
• Price - $14.95 (for ten wafers)
• From - netrition
• Pros - OMG SUGAR WAFER COOKIES WITH PROTEIN POWERS.  Portable protein for the purse (or other) sneaky snacks for the movies.  Tastes like it should not be a protein product
• Cons - Tastes like it should not be a protein product.  Your kids will open them before you get a chance to review them for your blog and ruin the box they came in.  Just saying.  Your kids will eat them.  If you want to save them for your bariatric diet, HIDE THEM from your family because they ain't cheap. 
• Rating - Pouchworthy

   

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So it's been a minute.

I signed on with a company to do a monthly product review of bariatric-approved products. My first product arrived this weekend, and in the spirit of full disclosure before I even start the review I have to tell you (...before I laugh, cry, or other?) that I hand-picked the first product because I know I like it. It's something I used to promote back in The Day of Blogging.  (I do not know when the day ended, but it's no longer that day.) 

The reason I am oversharing with you -- is because -- when I sniffed around the blog to find the first post about said product and it was written or even re-written MORE THAN EIGHT YEARS AGO.  Guys.  This means I could have written about this item nine or ten years ago and I am about to throw it back in your faces because I am:

• Old As Hell  (Did you figure out how long has been?  Because I just had a minor heart failure.)
• Still Around  (Sorry?)
• Crazy (...to still be around?  LOL)
• Hungry?
• Have Five Kids To Feed And Free Product Sounds Amazing Right About Now
• You Pick

What's worse?  I deleted the initial URL for whatever reason, so the copy and paste of my words is showing up online in scraped feeds on other sites. Or on sites I used to frequent.  

I just wanted to know how much this stuff cost back in ye olden days.  (Yes, this is how I think.  Post tomorrow.)

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Maranatha No Stir Almond Butter Coconut

One of the first "rules" (....bahahahaha, rules?) of gastric bypass I learned early on - was not to add concentrated sources of extra calories where they were totally unnecessary.  A food that qualifies the unnecessary category for me is -  peanut butter and nuts.

I don't like peanut butter, so I was not bothered by not enjoying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after weight loss surgery.  

However, one of the other things you learn later on is YOU NEED EXTRA FAT SOMETIMES.  To, uh, make your body work, and to make your skin not fall off.  (This is just personal experience.  Your mileage may vary.  Your body should vary, yadda yadda yadda.)   Many of us find that we under-eat fat.

A few weeks ago, I saw in the peanut butter aisle while picking up the nasty creamy gallon jug of peanut butter for my kids, this:

Maranatha No-Stir Almond Butter with Coconut.

To be fair, I was drawn to it because it read CREAMY and COCONUT.  Perhaps I thought it was going to taste of sweet coconut?  (I AM A SWEET COCONUT FAN, and I think I might have picked this up thinking it'd be a decadent macaroon-y flavor.  Sweet macaroons are asking for sweet death.)  Instead, I bought the almond spread -- I made toast.  I opened the glass jar, and mixed, it's got a slight oil on top, but nothing like natural peanut butter and it's more creamy like coconut butter - and I smeared it onto my bread.  It's a very subtle taste, a teeny bit nutty, lesser sweet, and creamy.  Not at all thick like emulsified peanut or other creamy butters.  

• Made with whole coconut pulp.
• MaraNatha All Natural Coconut Almond Butter Creamy. No stir.

• Combines the delicious taste of roasted almonds with the unique flavor of coconut into a smooth nut butter to enjoy every day.
• Liven up your favorite sandwich, spread on toast, apples, pancakes or add to your favorite hot cereal for a unique meal, or simply enjoy straight from the jar!
• It's a delicious treat you can feel good about enjoying each and every day.
• Please recycle this container.
• Comments or questions?
• Call 1-800-749-0730 or visit www.maranathafoods.com.

Warnings:

Warning Text: Contains: almonds, coconuts. May contain traces of peanuts, soy and tree nuts.

Ingredients:

Ingredients: Dry Roasted Almonds, Creamed Coconut, Evaporated Cane Syrup, Palm Oil, Salt.

I loved it.  I ate the whole jar over breakfasts in the next couple of weeks, every single morning.  I must have really really liked it.  When I returned to the store yesterday, however, I noted that it costs double what the peanut butter cost, at least, and I couldn't justify buying it this week.  Maybe next time.  (You know, I had to get my bread, which costs way too much.  :x  ..... )

• Product - Maranatha No Stir Almond Butter Coconut
• Price - $7
• Bought from Wal - Mart, I know, I know, but I am an unemployed parent of five.
• Pros - Healthy oils, HELPS YOU POOPS, subtle taste, easy to eat, good source of calories if you need them.  I would put this in a protein shake for added calories in TWO SECONDS.
• Cons - Um, same.
• Rating - Pouchworthy, MMBBGC
• Check them out here - https://www.facebook.com/maranathanutbutters/