I'm having a day. I woke up with a headache and ringing ears, that soon enveloped my head in a typical MM Seizure. I sort of felt it coming, I felt sick.
Then, at approximately 1pm, I must have had another one. But, this time, as no one witnessed it, I only have the whacked out status update I placed on Facebook, combined with apparently dropping my keyboard on the floor.
Since my events only last a few minutes, I was okay within a few more minutes and I was off to take a shower.
I didn't connect the the fact that I felt foggy to a possible seizure until I found the Facebook status. And, this is usually how I know something happened, AFTER THE FACT. This sucks. I get either very little warning, enough to tell me to SIT DOWN and wait it out just in case, or none at all, with no memory of the event.
One seizure every few days to a week is enough. I do NOT need two in one day. I'm just about ready to scroll through and try to find every instance and put in on a calendar. The problem is that when this happens, I am either totally unaware -- or too foggy to put it down right away. I'm only sitting here now because I saw what I left on Facebook and was horrified, and that only one person responded. Still, OMG! There should be an anti-seizure posting lock on my keyboard, phone, and other devices. In fact I think there is ... under Universal Access... I can set it so that the keyboard doesn't accept "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa."
In other news:
This seems ironic after I got the phone call the other day to ask about the quality of my experience with Social Security and it's online system, and the follow up. I told them it was somewhat easy, aside from giving DATES OF SERVICE when I've been to the hospital. Except, I also mentioned that I never heard anything from them again, after I applied. Lo and behold, I get a letter in the mail. I guess this is my answer.
I have to GO to work to be able to LEAVE a job to qualify for standard Social Security benefits. That seems like a circular problem. If I can't GO to work, how do I get a job? If I cannot perform the job, how can I keep the job that I cannot GET?
I was removed from my last actual job in January of 2008, when my employer could no longer hold out on hiring someone else. I was, 29... just turned 30?
In the ten years before that? I had FOUR CHILDREN and probably ten jobs. I worked in various places for very short runs, because it always came down to child care and I was the primary caregiver. I left one job SPECIFICALLY DUE TO MY CONDITION. In fact, I took a "short term" leave and never went back.
I guess what I am saying is, I potentially could go back to work. But, it would require someone to drive me there and home every single time, because I cannot drive until the seizures have stopped for a FULL YEAR.
Plus, I may not function at the same level (scary thought) as I might have before the seizures started. I would never be able to take on a position that I am qualified to do in my years of being in retail: Assistant Store Manager, Cash Office Manager, Banker, even, Barista. I do not want to be responsible for a store's numbers on my own. One seizure, and there goes the daily deposit totals. I would be horrified and constantly rechecking. Not a good plan.
It's not that I require the government's hand out right this second, but if I couldn't type as of tomorrow? What would my options be? It's a realistic thought, unlikely hopefully, but possible. If I became entirely unable to continue blogging and providing income for my family from this office -- I still couldn't GO to work!
I don't know enough about it to really understand the system, but so far, it sucks.
I'll just continue paying my taxes and shut up now. LOL.
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