Hypostab.

Source - CJ

Did you catch the possible complications?

Did you?

Read it again.

I have NEVER seen it written this way. Never hypo as the FIRST complication and so "grave."

Welcome To ME, who has seizures every 1-3 days that began coincidentally with the onset of post RNY hypoglycemia but are NOT related.

I haven't been writing about hypoglycemia or seizures lately.  I still have both.  The hypoglycemia issues don't happen dramatically, EVER, that that's because I pretty much self-medicate with protein-fat-carb-protein-fat-carb all day long.  If I eat straight up carb, I DIE.  And, I can simply count minutes to crash, so I don't eat simple carbs, alone, EVER.  If I want potato?  It must be doused with fat and sided with protein.

That said, it still happens in baby crashes, just not anywhere near the dramatic lows I used to have.  I would say that it's mostly because I have awareness of how to eat and when to eat. And, how to eat?  Does not include: Skittles. LOL.  I don't eat stuff like that, ever, unless I have.. say... BEEF in my other hand.  ;)

The seizures -- happen every 1-3 days in a bad week.  This past week, two.  One the day before yesterday, and another a couple days before that. 

Both partial complex seizures that I have only the memory of what happened RIGHT BEFORE the moment.  Mr. was home during the first of last week's event - and he said I was on his computer, and stopped, starting typing crazy, looked away, stared off and said some crazy shit and hugged him.  He doesn't really react any more, I tend to ask, "What did I do?" and he tells me "Well, you said XYZ, and then it was over."  As do the kids.  "Mama, you just had a seizure.  Oh well."

The second, I felt coming, came and sat down here, was mid-Facebook update and hit send on a update full of typos.  (I find them later.)  I don't typically post anything with obvious blatant errors, even though I do not draft or edit anything I type, I try not to send out crazy 4i3qgrelgjslk;gj; stuff.

 

Lauren's Hope Medical ID Bracelet

Lauren's Hope Medical ID announced a program last week offering a gift certificate for any blogger willing to post about their products for $50.00.  I reposted to share about it -- because $50.00 is HUGE -- and for most of my readers -- that is a big deal.  I did not expect to get a gift certificate at all -- but they sent me one too.  I spent it immediately on the first bracelet that caught my eye.  I have been a very bad epileptic patient -- not wearing ANY medical ID since my last one broke.

I like it quite a lot!  The only issue - is that I am a little bracelet impaired - and I cannot get it on.  LOL.

Of Sausages and Seizing and Brain Surgery and Revision and Stupid People.

  

Seizures in Vegas!

 
Epilepsy is fun.

Because?  Sometimes you don't have a warning of when you are going to have a seizure.  

My grand mal seizures have been well-controlled on medication for a very long time now, but I am still having complex partial seizures at least once a week while on two drugs.

This means, I may drop into a semi non-coherent state pretty immediately at any given time.  

FUN!

(Don't tell anyone.)

Now do you understand why I hesitate and avoid going out alone?  Yeah.  That's why.  I've dropped in Starbucks, The Apple Store, Wal Mart, the Bank, The Post Office, Pet Smart, in the car, etc.  Super fun.  

This is why I brought Beth-sitters with me to events last year.  But, it's gotten very old.  I live with this.

The latest attraction, in the ARIA Hotel while on the phone with my daughter early in the morning a few days ago.  

We were chit-chatting while Miss Teresa was in the bathroom putting her face on.  At some point I started having a seizure, and announced to my daughter on the phone, "I'm sorry," and dropped the phone.  

That's my usual thing.  I always repeat "I'm sorry," or "I need sugar."  

Teresa says she had no idea that I was seizing - she thought I got some bad news from home - because I was TOTALLY BLANK and that all energy had been SUCKED FROM THE ROOM, and was sitting down.  (Where I am typically a ball of fire, or at least a sparkler.)

When I came "to" and was aware of my surroundings, I could not find my phone.  I had no idea anything had occurred, nor that I had dropped the phone.  I asked Teresa where the phone went and she asked me if I had gotten bad news.  I was like -

"What?  I was just talking to my daughter, WAIT A MINUTE..."

And then I noticed the Red Bull.  

A half-empty full sugar Red Bull can.  

It seemed that in my quest for "sugar" I hit up the mini-bar for an $8.00 can of sugar and started to guzzle.

I guess I am glad it was a simply energy drink (a easily recognizable can shape, I drink the sugar free ones often) and not the $50.00 champagne bottle.  O-o  

Typically, my hands are close enough to a glucose tablet, and that is what goes in my mouth, HOWEVER! in next to a MINI BAR IN VEGAS?  A MINI BAR GOES IN MY MOUTH.  Sorry, Vic.  I can't tell you if the Red Bull was worth it because I don't remember it.

Epilepsy is fun.  You should try it.

PS.  A day or two after, it happened during the event while I was sitting down talking to Kim G. from Obesity Help.  But, I "felt" the onslaught of it coming, it felt like a really fast oncoming hypoglycemic event.  I whipped out the glucose meter and stabbed myself.  116 mg.  High.  

I ate two glucose tabs anyway and tried to focus on Kim's face while she spoke.  I didn't hear a WORD she said.  I know that I told her that I felt funny, but she knows all about my problem.  She didn't even blink.  :)

Interestingly - I had no events in the casinos.  THANK GOODNESS.  But, I walked through with one eye closed.

Another WLS'er with a neurological problem.

It's been a while since I posted any updates about 'Seizures After WLS,' but mostly that's because I'm simply stuck, and I don't really like to post repeatedly about things that are so pin pointed like seizures after weight loss surgery, because it scares the bejesus out of people.  (124 people so far, though I haven't actively been looking for people lately.)

I get a lot of flak about being "negative," and in fact, was asked again if I might Be More Positive! to make my blog, you know, <quote fingers> More Supportive! </quotefingers> 

As to THAT -- which is another blog post in the works - Honey? We Don't Need Another WLS Cheerleader, especially not the from the girl who has always hated the cheerleaders.  <grin>

Personally, I'm still seizing.  I had one this morning.  9:30am.  Great, thanks for asking!  I think I had two the day before yesterday.  I can't tell most times, unless someone tells ME that it happened, unless I feel something "off," and I make a mental note to look at the clock and etch that into my brain and sit "safe" until it's over.

I'm on the near maximum dose of Topamax now and Dilantin/Phenytek.  It seems that I am most likely to have a seizure around 6-10am, and sometimes in the very late afternoon.  I wonder if it's the absorption of Dilantin, considering, I take THAT at 10pm nearly every single evening, and if I seize, it's almost always in the AM after waking.) Anyway.

I just got a very disturbing cell-phone video (uploading now to add) from one of my Facebook friends and WLS peers.  

And, before I show you, I wanted to say something. 

 It JUST occurred to me, because she mentioned it?  People think she's faking it.  

Wait, what?  OMG. 

So, when I am on the floor, pissing my pants and frothing at the mouth, that's all for show?  Oh. 

Because, she/we can't get a diagnosis -- it isn't REAL?

This is Beth D, and this is her very quick story:

"I had the DS on 10/31/2008. Starting BMI 52, current 26.something weight loss total 148 to date.

I began eating solid foods sometime in November, this is the ONLY thing I can relate to them time around it started. It seemed to happen when I was hungry, if I didn't eat ASAP then my head would start to twitch. (blood tests/meter confirmed at that time it was NOT hypoglycemia) After that, it seemed as though it was related to my need to poop. Each time the "session" would end, I would have to go #2.

Then it seemed like it was stress/ hormone related. When I got stressed, it would start. When time was close to my "faux cycle" (i had a partial hysto but still have my ovaries so i get the fun of the emotions without the bleeding, YAY!) it would intensify. (to this day they intensify around my cycle)

Dr #1 (neurologist) checked labs as he was POSIITVE it was my B levels (600 at the time) and my ADHD meds. Because it wasn't happening at that time, he wrote to my PCP and said I was all but faking it.

Back to PCP. 1st vid recorded of mild episode. He does EKG to check for seziures & CT to check for possible stroke. Both negative.also rechecks all my labs- perfect

By this time (Feb) my speech was being affected.  At times I can't speak, when I do it has NOTHING to do with what I'm trying to say. Other times I can stare blankly at you & my lips won't move but the voice is in my head of everything I'm saying..

PCP decided to do drug trials. First 2 weeks was muscle relaxers to see if it was muscular, did nothing, next 2 weeks he put me on valpac to see if it was seziures, that med turned me into a demon & didn't do anything so again stop.

Went back to surgeon seeking answers, of course he did nothing wrong, no way possibly he could have nicked my Vagus nerve. Told him what my PCP was doing, he agreed and sent me on my way.

Next neuro, "Well you've been doing it for over a year now, it has to be Tourette Syndrome. He said he has never seen this before, would consult some of his peep's and get back to me.. That was 6 months ago:(

So here I am today, they are far worse then they were before. I have tried food elimination (including gluten) I have checked my sugars a billion times over, cut out carbs, added carbs, changed every thing I've eaten, not eaten or even looked at, all failed.  The ONLY thing that has ever made me stop at least for a bit.. MORE SURGERY! WTF? I have had 2 other surgeries since my WLS. Hernia repair & obstructed bowel. Both times I was in there, I stopped completely and I figured out it was because they had me drugged up.. When I came home, I was taking my narcotics and within 3 days of stopping, my tics started to slowly come back.. I'm sorry but I'm not gonna live on narc's the rest of my life.."

What is happening?  Could be?  http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/dystonias/detail_dystonias.htm

Beth D - Neurological Tics post Duodenal Switch from meltingmama on Vimeo.

Beth D. Neurological Tics Post DS from meltingmama on Vimeo.

In Adults With Anorexia Brain Volume Found To Change Following Weight Gain

Not that I am suggesting WLS = Anorexia, HOWEVER, as a person who has had WLS and serious neurological problems SINCE?  

I have always thought there was a cause due to the weight loss surgery, forced anorexia and following issues.  If so, perhaps a CURE, for me and for others DEALING WITH THIS.  Just throwing this out there.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/190092.php

Medical ID Bracelet Time.

 
 It's time.  I must buck up and buy another one.  I have avoided this.  

Hyperinsulinemic Hypoglycemia Following Gastric Bypass - Testing

by Mary-Elizabeth Patti, MD 
via Joslin Diabetes Center, Boston, MA

(I captured the slides from a PPT presentation, there's lots of juicy information in there.)

I am headed to Tufts for a Mixed Meal blood lab on Wednesday.  

This means, I have to eat something that I know will trigger me into a low.  

That's easy as pie.  Err, not pie, but likely two frozen waffles, or a cup of Kashi, or a half stick donut from Dunkin' Donuts.  Those are known assailants.  The endocrinologist wants to prove that I will drop under 50-55 mg after a "mixed meal."

You may recall I did this EXACT TEST a few years ago, with a liquid meal, and I did not get very hypoglycemic, though I got horrifically sick to my stomach and had partial complex seizures.  (Which were undiagnosed at the time, because I thought it was "hypoglycemia.")

(But, I am glad to do it again, to prove that it still happens, it's OBVIOUSLY A PROBLEM, and that it could very well be the cause of why MM has had several car accidents and countless seizures even if MD's believe that hypoglycemia is the trigger of anything.  That's just MY theory 'cause I live in this body.  But, to be frank, it makes me a little sick to think that, "What if I was right?  What if I find out that these seizures ARE because of the blood sugar, and nobody listened to me?"   

I'm over here swallowing 11 anti-seizure pills, and the neurologist twice has suggested brain surgery.  Yeah, you didn't know about that.

PS.  You know, I am reading back into my archives, looking for those trigger meals?  With the photos, and I realized, I don't test much.  I am so medicated, that I rarely "feel" lows until I am cuckoo.  

I don't eat poorly enough to GET that low, either, but I'm not pricking my finger, because when I feel out of it, I'm OUT OF IT.

PPSS.  Or whatever.  I pricked myself now- because - I am a little edgy and pacy - one of my early signs that I should probably test because I am either going down or will have a seizure.  Three strips later, and three error messages?  LOL.  Nevermind.

MM's Prisonyard Playground

   

If Mama's stuck here for ANOTHER three hundred and thirtysomeodd days, this house and yard kindasortawillhave to become a playground or mental institution.   

It started with emptying the Lake Crackhouse.  It's empty, and half-destroyed.  The next step the complete destruction of the pool and surrounding area and adding 24 x 36 x 12 feet of fill and smoothing it out.  

 
 We got a quote from a local contractor (who wore the best cologne I have EVER smelled, I wish I asked) for the job, using some sand/dirt from our own property, and we might be able to do it (exciting! I've been waiting to kill this eyesore/mosquito pit since we moved here!) if Mr. Smells So Good can take payments like Rent-A-Center. 

 
If so!  Part one complete of - MM Prisonyard Playground!  This pool GONE!

But, MM, Why do you want it gone?  I'm not a fan of The Drowning.  I have a fear of a kid falling in the water and me not being able to save her because I've had a seizure.  Unrealistic, but the Dr's tell me NOT TO TAKE A BATH ALONE, think about it.

I was watching a show about jail last night, and thought, "We could do THAT, too!" when looking at the ways to keep inmates busy and physically entertained.  A prison yard with things to do.  That's what we need.  

It is kindasortalike reverse minimum security prison when you can't leave your house on your own.  You DO feel trapped.  You DO need things to do, or you WILL make prison knives out of wire bits just for something to do.  

Not so much "me" per se because I apparently keep myself busy without doing much of anything (I have said, this whole seizure thing would be much, much easier if I didn't have to worry about little people) but the kids, no.  

I have four kids, the older two have had a mobile parent at least most of the time, so it hasn't been that big of an issue for them, they have been able to make-do often, and will keep themselves occupied.  The boy, if asked, will go play Legos.   My oldest, has always crafted, drawn, colored, read, etc.

I have an eight year old who paces like a bull all day long, who has never really known how to play by herself.  She needs me to tell her what to do, and will respond with a "no," to every. single. suggestion.  But, give her kids to play with?  And, she's good for HOURS, so long as they stay around.  But they don't, they just aren't here.  I figured, give her a trampoline -- at least she might bounce. 

   
 Every friend of hers has a trampoline, each time I pick her up, she's red and sweaty from bouncing.  She loves that kind of thing.  If I can find more outlets like this - that we can have AT HOME - why not?  I can't get her to "______ lessons" so... what is she supposed to do?  This is the kid who cries, because she calls friends, and they are busy every single day of the week with activities.  Ballet, soccer, music, art, gymnastics, skating, and a party!  Then, she's pouting, because our big outing is grocery shopping. 

The little one has been stuck at home for the majority of her life, so it isn't much of a change to be stuck at home again.  I had my first grand mal seizure on 1-10-2008, and stopped driving then, too.  But, she's older now, and definitely bored.  It was easier keeping 2 year old occupied who I could lock in the house than a 3-going-on-4-who-wants-to-run-away.  

So, either, we work with what we have or we move to a Horsey Farm or The City.

 
 

 

This post brought to you by ...

The makers of Topamax.  

Having Seizures?!  Migraine Headaches That Just Won't Quit?  TRY Topamax!  Available in a variety of SHAPES AND STRENGTHS to MEET YOUR NEEDS -

 
After a brief discussion ("Hi, Dr.  I am sorry, but I crashed my car, I know you told me not to drive, but I did, and there's that.  And, then I had five seizures in a row, and I think I shouldn't...) with my neurologist via email, it was decided that we will increase my medication dosage after the other day's Super Duper Seizure Thon. 

Let me share with you how much I love that I can now feel this shit kick in. <---sarcasm.  Topamax is not a drug that you could possibly get hooked on, there are zero pleasantries to it. 

In combination with other antiepileptic drugs (AEDs), the most common side effects of TOPAMAX in adults (200 to 400 mg/day) were sleepiness, dizziness, nervousness, loss of muscle coordination, fatigue, speech disorders and related problems, psychomotor slowing, abnormal vision, difficulty with memory, tingling in arms and legs, and double vision; and in children (5 to 9 mg/kg/day), fatigue, sleepiness, loss of appetite, nervousness, difficulty with concentration/attention, difficulty with memory, aggressive reaction, and weight decrease.

I has all that.  But it's fine, damn it, soshutthehellup.  

But, maybe it will do the trick?  I could care less that I cannot feel my legs (and face, and fingers, and brain?) if the seizures stop.  As a lovely side-effect, taking enough dopey-max to not feel my extremities, just now it appears a cat has pissed on my tongue.  THIS will cause weight loss.  Delicious new side effect. Yummy!  Totally Pouchworthy, ^MM.

 
 

Frustrated, a bad seizure day.

• I woke up to Mr. MM sharing with me that was either "dreaming" or having a seizure.  I was apparently feeding myself a pseudo-sandwich and repeating something sort of unintelligible.  This could have been simply a dream... but it's a lot like my seizures.
• Later in the morning, I had complex  partial seizure  while I sat and answered emails.  
• Again, after I took my morning dose of seizure medicine and we went out in the car, another small one.  
• Later,  another, in the car, after dropping my son off at my MIL's house, DH says I was out of it again, for a few minutes.  I have a brief recollection of feeling off, then I lost my memory, started eating glucose tablets, and then I tried to nap while we drove back toward home. 
• And, about a half hour ago, AGAIN.

This is too many complex partial seizures ^{(that I was aware of)} in one day.   I haven't had a day like this in months. Now, I MAY HAVE, but I can't tell unless someone tells me if I have gone out of it, unless I am doing something that I can stop and make a note of the fact that something is different, like typing -- cooking -- or crashing my car.  

I am currently on phenytoin (100 mg) and topamax (200 mg), two separate meds, which have seemed to cut back on the seizure activity, but obviously not totally, since I am still dealing with them, and crashed my car a couple weeks ago.

I am about to email this new information to the neurologist, as we have not been in touch for a couple months, and I wonder if we shouldn't change something up medication-wise seeing as I cannot drive ANYWAY for a year.  I'm no longer safe.  I'm a hazard, I am already following rules like:

• Using a microwave oven for cooking instead of a gas or electric range;
• Taking plates to the oven or stove to serve oneself to avoid having to carry pans of hot food or liquid;
• Using a regular knife for carving, not an electric knife or, if possible, leaving the carving to someone else;
• Keeping electric mixers and other electric appliances far away from the sink or source of water;
• Setting the water heater low enough to prevent scalding during a seizure and taking sit down showers if drop attacks are frequent;
• Making sure open fires have guards and that electric or other space heaters can’t be tipped over;
• Not smoking and not carrying lighted candles or hot ashes from the fireplace through the house;
• Limiting ironing as much as possible;
• Padding sharp corners and carpeting floors.

I have always tried to stay safe -- which has translated to me gaining weight due to staying at home and avoiding going out to walk, etc.  

I want these seizures to GO AWAY.  It's long overdue that we find a cause and a cure.  But for now, I wish the medications would simply work, without putting me to sleep, because that's where I am at now, sleepy and drugged with continued seizures.  

I'm getting quite frustrated.  It's been long enough.  I realize my condition could be life-long.  But, when something happens out of nowhere, you have to wonder WHAT the cause is, and I want it FIXED already.

*thud*

Just.  Pffft.  I cannot even comment right now.  This is a message just posted on Obesity Help regarding testing for hypoglycemia  - MM

The day after.

That looks fun!  I have no idea how fast I was going, but I typically go about 35 mph down the road we were on.  I was not feeling well, and was headed home to pee/put the dog out/go meet Jen so SHE COULD DRIVE, so I may have been a bit slower than usual.  

But, my car, looks just like that.

  
   
 
 

RIP PT POS.  I could care less about the car.  I want my camera and Paypal card that are in it.  Mr. is getting them today -- and the camera is on the household insurance because it costs more than a mortgage payment -- but still.  If I drive again, in six months, a year, it will be a TANK.  

*Because I couldn't find a stretch pink Hummer.
 

I am not in as much pain as I thought I would be in.  Story of my life.  "Not as bad as I thought it would be."  

Worst part of the hospital yesterday:  WAITING TO PEE.  I broke protocol and got off the stretcher and forced my way to the toilet.  I told the RN that I MUST GO TO THE BATHROOM, IMMEDIATELY, it was 8PM and that I had been waiting since 3PM to go.  

She said that I couldn't -- that I was still wearing a collar -- and that should could not allow that.  I told her that I had been moving my neck since the accident, surely going pee wasn't going to change my level of injury, and that I would take the EMT with me, (Bob, who was telling me to get back on the stretcher)  in case of a fall.  I am so glad I did, because when I went, The Red Death ensued.  I would have refused a bed pan, and the hell I would have had a diaper put on in bed?!  When I got back to the room -- the nurse asked if I got caught -- I simply thanked her for allowing me to go.

I went to bed last night thinking that I would need a backhoe to peel me off the mattress this morning.  No.  I am okay.  I do feel as if I was taken down by a 380 pound linebacker who sat on my chest, knee and left hand, but I still did the laundry, dishes, and took the trash up my driveway.  I will survive.  

Totally stupid to even consider but, today was to be The Day I cleared the sticks from the yard, but, bending hurts like a mofo and yeahnotsomuchgoingtohappen.  My yard is a disaster, and I want it clean like, the MOMENT the sun shines (which is coincidentally TODAY) and I am not feeling it.  So, screw the mess.  But, to be fair, I have done little of it myself in the last two years, I ended up having a nice man come and suck up or blow the leaves away.  ;)  (I may just do that when DH is away in Disneyworld if I can bear to wait that long.  *whistles*)

The Pancreas Journey Part Whatever.

I just spoke with the endocrinologist, who got my files from the Joslin Clinic from 2007.  It appears the testing did not point to insulinoma back then, as I did not have a low blood glucose after the mixed meal testing.

It is obvious NOW that during that test, I had at least two seizures  Uh, DUH!?  (Remember -- I whistled and asked for sugar?!)  BUT - NO OFFICIAL LOW GLUCOSE LEVELS.  

And, in the test after THAT, I had another seizure, and NO OFFICIAL LOW GLUCOSE LEVEL.  

So, apparently glucose TESTING triggers me into seizures.  (Um, WTF?)

The endo wants to do it again.  Seizures, FTW.  But this time, I am on double seizure meds, and he says he will have Ativan on tap.

And instead of giving me holy diarrhea with drinking a sugar laced drink -- I can simply eat a meal that is certain to cause a crash and burn.  (Open to suggestions!  But, I think am leaning toward the obvious no-no foods that do it, that "two waffles with sugar-free syrup" meal, or something like it.)  The goal is to see a level of under 55 mg with high insulin levels.  I *should be able to pull that off, considering, it happens constantly?!

For now, he's put me on blood pressure medication.  What?  Apparently: "Theoretically, calcium channel blockers are capable of inhibiting insulin secretion."  

Post-prandial hypoglycemia after bariatric surgery: pharmacological treatment with verapamil and acarbose.

Moreira RO, Moreira RB, Machado NA, Gonçalves TB, Coutinho WF.

Obesity and Eating Disorders Group (GOTA), Instituto Estadual de Diabetes e Endocrinologia Luiz Capriglione/Instituto de Psiquiatria da Universidade Federal do Rio de Janeiro (IPUB), Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. [email protected]

Comment in:

• Obes Surg. 2008 Dec;18(12):1622-4.

Postprandial hypoglycemia is a common complication of bariatric surgery. It is usually caused by late dumping syndrome, but a few other causes have already been described, including insulinoma and noninsulinoma pancreatogenous hypoglycemic syndrome (NIPHS). Considering that NIPHS is a recently described syndrome and is also very rare, therapeutic approaches are still not consensual. We report the case of a 26-year-old woman who was submitted to bariatric surgery and presented episodic postprandial hypoglycemic episodes after 16 months. Fasting C-peptide, insulin, and glucose were normal. Because of the possibility of NIPHS, clinical treatment was initiated with verapamil and acarbose, leading to a significant reduction of hypoglycemic episodes and also their severity. Surgery is the most common approach to NIPHS. However, in cases of mild or moderate symptoms, it is important to consider the possibility of pharmacological treatment. This approach may result, at least for some time, in an amelioration of symptoms without the need of an aggressive procedure.

I will start taking Verapamil at a low dose, which scares me a bit, I mean, it is a blood pressure medication.  So if I stand up and fall back down, you'll know why.

^{PS.  I just had a little heart failure going back to my own archives and reading how little I used to eat.  Did I have WLS or something?  WTF?}

No fasting.

I spoke with the endocrinologist today -- he says that he did some research over the weekend and decided that the three day inpatient fast is unnecessary -- that some of the original studies of post gastric bypass insulinomas and nesidioblastosis cases were identified with shorter simpler tests.  Some, of which I have already done, at least partially until I had a seizure.  

One, in particular, a mixed meal study.  So, I'm off the hook for the fast -- and perhaps can simply re-take a mixed meal study where an episode of low glucose and high insulin must be recorded after ingesting a carb/protein/fat combination.  If that is positive, then we can simply move on to other testing, perhaps an MRI, and other more invasive tests if necessary.  

The point is, I want to RULE OUT the nesidioblastosis.  

This really isn't ABOUT my damn pancreas, I'm trying to save my brain from further damage if it's related to consistent low blood sugar.

Now, that said, the endo did say that if I test positive for this -- he won't treat it.  They've not dealt with a post gastric bypasser with this condition.  He suggested going back to the Joslin Clinic, and we can manage with medication, diet, etc... or surgery.  Although surgery is hardly helpful ... and can cause further problems.

Clear as mud, I know.  But, it's progress.

Doping up.

 

My Funny Valentine.

My "Valentine" was working yesterday, so two of the kids and I went North to visit family (my parents drove us, (we couldn't fit everybody in the car, so two kids stayed with MIL) and have some good eats.  Eating good food made by someone ELSE reminds me that I DO actually like food, I just do not like making it!  

I need to put a lot more effort into trying new recipes for the family, and just hope they will try new things. I think my problem is that I don't like cooking what they would "like."  I've had enough of the boring old kid-friendly crap.  (And Mr. friendly crap.  He's SO picky. She says as the turkey goes in to roast.)  I had three or four items yesterday that I'd love to make and have at home, but preparing/cooking/wasting would make my head spin.  

I also remembered that I really DO like having more SPACE down here in the forest.  

As much as I want to live in a city - where it's busy and things are going on - I know I would hate having neighbors on all sides driving me absolutely apeshit.  (Why on earth would you want to live in the city, Beth?  Because.  It's realistic for me to consider that I may not drive at times, forever, and I LOVE the idea of having public transportation even if you can't stand it.)

They have a train minutes from here.  I have to DRIVE to get a BUS to get a TRAIN from my house.  And, I had another complex partial seizure yesterday.  After being pretty normal all day long, I lost my brain IN STARBUCKS (again) while paying for my order.  I knew it happened after I got in the car to come home, because, "Wait, how did the baby get chocolate milk?  I didn't have enough money for that."  I had $7 in my wallet, I knew I didn't ask for a chocolate milk, but she got one.

I swear.  If the doctor doesn't listen to me this time, I will park my ass in his office until he finds a reason for this, if I can get to the BUS to the TRAIN to the CITY.  

A glimpse.

I have a faint recollection of a problem this morning.

This is my brain on normal, right now, I'm all there.

This is my brain on SWOOSH:

 
I POSTED THAT to a message board.  POSTED.  

Typically, I just SAY IT out loud and pace around the house during a brain lapse/low blood sugar/seizure (I don't know what it is.)  

I did not have low blood sugar, THAT is the EXACT swooshy broken brain thing my brain DOES every few days.  I have suggested at times that it's due to a rapid DROP in blood sugar, but I can't test it when I am typing or speaking nonsense!

Thinking about revision

I'm in the early stages of considering revision surgery. 

As the head spins.

I was just cleaning up downstairs when I felt goofy and got that "Uh oh, time to go sit down" feeling.  

For fun, I tested my blood sugar.  Fumbling with the meter, as always.

Low.  Um, DUH? 

THIS IS THE WAY YOU FEEL EVERY TIME YOU ARE CRASHING, TOO!  It's just to confuse you!  Seizure or low, what could it be?